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in Buzzkill or Hays, you could get some real money, but other raw materials paid more. And she ate most everything she found. Mama ran salvage for herself once she parted ways with Crush Jones. He had most of the big government contracts anyway.”

Baptista chuckled. “I heard Crush Jones talk at Wayne State University. He seemed like a normal guy who got lucky.”

Then I had to laugh. That was Crush Jones all right. “So, Baptista, you’re not a Severin, are you?”

“Nope. I’m one hundred percent human.”

She could be lying. I didn’t think she was. We continued to talk about nothing in whispers ’cause it was cold and dark, and the idle chit-chat made it easy to forget the danger.

Then I pulled back into reality. “Pilate is not going to be able to walk far, if at all. But I’m not sure we’re going to see anything from the river.”

“And time is ticking. President Jack will speak in Denver in five days.”

“And in eighteen days, all my friends will die.” I frowned until my face hurt.

I oared the boat over to a copse of cottonwoods.

The sun rose, giving the day a pale white light. My teeth chattered and I wanted off the freezing river. I needed sleep.

Pulling the raft out woke up Pilate. “Good morning, ladies. I say we hit the Village Inn for pancakes and strong coffee.”

“You get MREs and more drugs and sleep,” I said.

Getting Pilate out of the raft took some work. On the other side of the cottonwoods stood an apartment complex gone to seed. In the shade of the trees, moss painted the balconies. Several cats glared at our approach.

Baptista and I supported Pilate, one of us on either side of him, and we struggled to get him inside one of the apartments. Dirt and grass covered the carpet remnants and concrete. We found a back room and set up a quick camp.

“I’ll take the first watch.” Baptista left us for an empty apartment above. She’d be able to see better from a higher position. Her footsteps disappeared, boots scraping on the bare concrete.

Once she was gone, I found myself wanting a strip of EMAT for myself, but I fought the temptation. I applied one gently on Pilate after smearing antibiotic cream across his leg.

He saw my eyes going back to the EMAT in the med-kit, over and over.

“Ask God to remove the desire,” he said softly.

“Ain’t no God. Just us. And I won’t use any. I promised you.”

Pilate leaned back and I helped him adjust the Avalon Comfort bag over him. I even cracked some warmers and stuffed them inside. With his arms busted up, he was pretty helpless.

“I hope you keep that promise,” he said. “But if you don’t, I’ll still love you. You know that, right?”

I nodded.

He wouldn’t stop talking. “You’re also going to have to leave me to find Sharlotte and Wren. You know that as well.”

Most likely, the ARK ground troops would find our tracks on the bank, since they’d be checking the river carefully. Either way, if someone came for us, we’d have to bolt. And leave Pilate.

But hell, we were going to have to leave Pilate anyway.

I touched his face. No fever. Yet.

“You’re always telling me to go away,” I said with a grin. “I’m starting to take it personally.”

Tears filled Pilate’s eyes.

“What?” I asked. “You crying all the time is embarrassing. Act like a grown man.”

His voice came out thick. “Get old enough and the tears don’t matter. Being tough is for the young.”

I didn’t respond.

He kept on talking. “You’re smiling. You’re joking. Which means you’re getting better. In Hays, you never did much of either. Not even when I showed you those YouTube videos and all those laughing babies.”

“It’s easier in the Juniper,” I said simply. “I think I might not just find zero but get a positive integer inside me.”

“Leave it to Cavatica Weller to think of feelings in mathematical terms.” He took in a deep breath and let it out slow. Still coughed. “You find war easier than normal life? Well, it’s horrible that there’s a family resemblance. You’re so like I was when I got home from the Sino. Ha, even the Juniper wasn’t enough for me. I went back to China, to look for Petal, granted, but still. Sometimes when we become warriors, that’s all we can be.” He eased back and closed his eyes. “Maybe after this is over it won’t be so bad.”

But it would be.

I curled up in my own Avalon Comfort bag next to him and let the exhaustion take over.

Gunfire woke me up. I had my G18 ready even before I had my eyes open. But something wasn’t right.

Distant. The gunfire was distant.

Noon sunshine gave the frozen ground outside a little warmth. We didn’t feel any. We would’ve froze to death if not for the sleeping bags and the chemical warmers.

I heard footsteps above. Figured it was Baptista, but I had to go see.

Pilate’s eyes were open.

“Stay here,” I told him.

“Roger that, Houston.”

Up the stairs, my weapon ready, I found Baptista at the window on the west side of the complex. Everything had been salvaged, leaving only cat scat and bird bones. At least the kitties were happy.

At the window, I looked over the ruins of a Walgreens, a Taco Bell, and the sprawl of a dead Home Depot.

“There’s a firefight to the west of here, a couple of klicks away I’d say.”

“Now we know where to go,” I said. “If there’s trouble out there, my sisters will be in the middle of it.”

My sisters, Sharlotte and Wren, but what would Wren be now?

Would I even recognize her?

Chapter Fourteen

I CAN BE A MONSTER

When I put on the mask

I can be a daughter

But I need my flask

—LeAnna Wright. “Monster” Empty Pocket, Glitterhouse Records, 2060.

(i)

I crouched to look Pilate in the eye. “We’re going to leave you.”

“Finally.” He smirked. “You’re kind of clingy, Cavatica. You’ll have to work on that.”

I kissed his cheek. “We’ll come back for you.

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