The Bookshop of Second Chances Jackie Fraser (ebook reader macos .txt) 📖

Ed. He doesn’t seem to mind, but I can’t imagine doing it myself. They’re reasonably matey, Edward and Cerys – in fact I’d go so far as to say she’s his closest friend here. Sometimes they go to the cinema together in Dumfries. I was surprised when I found out about that, but Cerys did a Film Studies degree and they go to see arty things that Jilly can’t be bothered with.

‘What, social media? Shouldn’t think so, no. I told him to put it in the job description for his next victim.’

‘Are you off, then?’ She watches me, bright-eyed, birdlike.

‘Oh, no. Not at the moment. Not sure what to do. I’m tempted to stay,’ I tell her, ‘but I wonder if that’s… you know, cowardly.’

‘Cowardly?’

‘Yeah. Because of how my life fell apart and everything.’ I drum my fingers on the table. ‘I had no intention of “starting over” or anything like that when I came up here. I’d never thought about living somewhere else. But now I’m here–’

‘Yeah, I know what you mean. I didn’t plan on staying. I originally came up on holiday. I did go back home, but only to collect all my stuff.’ She wrinkles her nose.

‘Really?’ I’m surprised. I’ve never thought about where Cerys came from, even though she’s clearly not Scottish.

‘Mm. That was before I met Jilly. I used to be married, did you know that?’

‘What, to a man?’

She laughs at me. ‘Yeah, I know, imagine that.’

‘Good heavens.’

‘Yeah, I was married for nearly ten years. It was okay. Although as you can imagine, I did have some… issues. I came up here on a whim, just because there was a last-minute deal on a holiday cottage website. Needed a bit of time to myself. And when I got here, I really liked it. I suppose I’d already decided I was going to leave Ryan. So I thought, hey, sod it, why not just run away? Although I prefer to think of it as running towards,’ she adds, laughing again.

‘What about all your friends? And your family?’ I’m secretly impressed by this sort of careless adventuring.

‘Don’t have any family. And my friends come up here to visit. And I met some people up here – Ed and Jenny and Alastair. And then I met Jilly. And there we are.’

‘Wow. I suppose I thought you and Jilly had always been together.’

‘Nope.’

‘Did you – I’m sorry, this is nosy, and you’re welcome to tell me to piss off – did you go out with other women, before you were married?’

‘Yeah, a bit. Nothing serious. I always thought I was mostly straight. But actually I think I’m mostly not.’ She laughs some more. ‘Ah. I’d say it was a waste, but you know it wasn’t, not really. I did love Ryan, and I think I wasn’t ready for Jilly. If I’d met her when we were twenty, it wouldn’t have worked.’

‘Life’s weird, isn’t it?’

‘Yeah. So I wanted to talk to you,’ she says, ‘about Charles.’

‘Charles?’ I look at her blankly.

‘Ed’s brother?’

‘Yes, I know who he is,’ I say, ‘but why?’

‘He asked me about you.’

‘Asked you what? He knows about me. I’ve been to his house. And he’s been to mine.’

‘Yeah, he wasn’t asking who you were, you idiot.’

‘Oh.’ We both laugh. ‘What was he asking, then?’

‘He wanted to know about your husband. And about you and Ed.’

I frown at her. ‘Really?’

‘Yeah. He wanted to know if you were getting divorced. And if I thought the two of you were… you know.’

‘We’re absolutely not.’ I feel my cheeks burn, annoyingly.

‘No shit. After the state he got himself into about that bloke, Jesus Christ.’

‘What?’

‘Your beau at the Arms the other week.’

‘Oh. Keith. That was weird, wasn’t it? He was really funny about it.’ I’m still not sure what I think about that.

She snorts. ‘Wasn’t he? But anyway, yeah. Charles said, were you divorced, and I said, not quite. But pretty much. And did I think you and Ed were, you know, sleeping together, and I said no, and he said but do you think he likes her, though, and I said, everyone likes Thea–’

‘Oh, bless you, how sweet – oh look at me, you’ve made me well up. Good grief.’ I dab at my eyes. ‘What a knob. Me, I mean.’ I shake my head. It’s absurd that I could weep so easily at the thought of anyone saying anything nice about me. Tragic.

‘Hm, well, it’s true. Anyway, so I said you seemed to be getting on well and I thought it was good for Ed to have a friend and of course he didn’t like that, much – I expect he’d like him to die a lonely death, but anyway. Then he asked if Ed was seeing anyone, and I told him I thought Lara was still on the scene. Is she?’

Ugh. I try not to think about Lara. ‘Yeah, for some reason. Have you met her?’

‘Once,’ says Cerys.

‘What did you think?’

‘Oh.’ She shrugs. ‘They’re all the same, aren’t they? Posh birds. Do you like her?’

‘No. Well, I don’t know her. But–’

‘But you don’t like her.’

I can’t deny it. ‘No. And I don’t think he does, either, which… I don’t really understand it.’

‘It’s convenient, I suppose.’

‘Not that convenient. I mean she lives three hours’ drive away.’

‘Yeah, you’re right. It’s not serious though, is it? That’s more what I meant.’

‘Hm. But anyway,’ I say, ‘what was Charles getting at? I don’t understand.’

‘I don’t know. But if he asks you out to dinner or anything–’

I stare at her. ‘Why on earth would he do that?’

She blinks at me. ‘He likes you.’

‘Not like that though, surely? I mean – I assume his wives have been terribly glossy and elegant and – glamorous? In a classy way? Not like me.’

Cerys looks thoughtful.

‘This might sound rude,’ she says, ‘so please don’t take it the wrong way, but I think you’re right. You’re probably not… well bred enough. And maybe too old, you know what men are like. But if Charles thought he could hurt Edward