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Matthew stared at the floor again.

“Look at me,” I said. Matthew's eyes lifted. “You know he'd never hurt you. Not Richard.”

“I know that.” Matthew faced Richard. “I know that. God, I'm sorry. It's... ” His Adam's apple bobbed as he gulped down the rest of his words. He threw his hands over his face.

Without thinking, I gathered him in my arms and held him. There were no tears, no sobs, nothing to signal he was upset at all but the way he held on to me.

Richard strode across the room and dropped to his knees. He petted Matthew's hair. “I won't drink again. I swear I won't.” He rested his forehead against Matthew's temple. “I would never hurt you.”

Matthew let go of me and wrapped his arms around Richard's neck. “I know.”

Richard pulled him off the couch and onto his lap. He captured Matthew's face in his hands. “Please come to bed with me and Luke.”

I couldn't stop myself— and I didn't want to. I slid off the couch and held Matthew between us. He had to know he was still safe with us, with Richard. I didn't want him to lose that.

Richard's mouth covered Matthew's in a soft kiss. “Let me make love to you.”

“Yes,” Matthew said.

I stroked his back, and he turned to me. “Let both of us.”

He gasped and nodded.

Richard led the smaller man up the stairs, and I followed. The significance of the moment increased with each step.

In the bedroom, we undressed with the bed separating us. Our breathing deepened as need and longing increased with the toss of each article of clothing, each look exchanged. Richard went to Matthew. He made more promises as he laid him down, kissed him, caressed him, made love to him. They came together like nothing I'd ever seen before.

“I won't hurt you,” Richard said. “No matter what, Matthew. It isn't who I am.” He spoke with each movement into Matthew's body.

“I know. Know I can trust you. God, you're good to me.”

They drifted together, in and out, up and down, their gazes locked, their bodies connected, each showing the other how much he meant his words.

Richard's thrusts lost the sensual rhythm moments before he came. One shudder followed another until his strong body stilled. Matthew continued to stroke himself.

Richard leaned over him. “Stop, kid. Don't come.”

Matthew froze. He gripped the base of his cock and squeezed. His brow furrowed with confusion and frustration.

Richard kissed him. Then he rolled to the side. “Luke.”

“Yeah,” Matthew said. “I need you, Luke. Please.”

I fetched a condom, grateful I hadn't touched myself yet. My hands trembled as I opened the wrapper. I tried to roll it on my erection, and my fingers slipped. What Matthew and I were about to do went beyond fucking. Beyond anything we'd done before.

Richard took the condom from me. He wrapped a large hand around my cock, stroked once, and rolled the rubber down. I shot him a grateful look.

Matthew slid under me, as lithe as ever despite his heightened need. I wanted to show him he could trust me. His gaze locked on mine, intent, serious. With him still stretched from Richard's prick, I slid in easily and we came together, our bodies locked.

“That's it, Luke,” Richard whispered. “Make love to him. Show him he can trust us.”

How the hell do I do that? I didn't know, but I had to try. I grasped Matthew's cock in my hand and brought him along with me.

“Luke.” Nothing sounded better than my name in his screams. “Trust you. Trust this. Need this. It's huge. Being made love to by the two of you.” His hand touched the side of my face. “Better... than without you.”

“Better,” I said. My release struck fast, and his followed.

I rolled off, and for the first time after sex, I pulled my lover to me. I wanted to keep contact with him. Matthew pressed his lips against my neck and hummed with each breath.

Richard curled around his other side and cleared his throat. “Uh, your uh... your father used to hit you?” Despite the stiffness of his tone, Richard's hand rubbed over Matthew's back in a slow caress.

“Yeah. When he drank. The rest of the time, he treated me good. He'd take me to the movies or play video games with me. It made it all the harder to take the pain, see the bruises, the blood. He and my mom divorced when I was in high school. He left and I never saw him again.”

I held him tighter to me. “I'm sorry.”

“I've dealt with it. Really, I have. I just have issues with people drinking around me. God. I'm sorry I made such a big deal about this. It's stupid.”

“It is a big deal,” Richard said. “I never meant to— ”

Matthew rolled over and wrapped himself around Richard. “I know.”

Their mouths connected. I let them have a moment together, and then I moved in and kissed Matthew, not able to keep away from him.

His kiss confirmed what I'd known for a while now. He needed us— needed me. I'd never been more significant to anyone in my life. My chest tightened in a wave of anxiety.

I'd never be able to live up to it.

Even with that outcome confidently settled in my mind, I wanted to try. For Matthew. For Richard. And for myself.

For the first time since I was nineteen, I had made love to another man, and I didn't want it to end.

Chapter Twenty-three

“We need to talk,” Richard said.

I poured a cup of coffee and leaned back against the counter. “Okay.”

“Matthew and I got our new test results back.” They were sitting at the kitchen table. Matthew didn't glance up from the cup he held tight in his hands.

“Yeah?” I'd found mine sitting on my desk the night before.

“We both tested negative. Again.”

Matthew lifted his head. His dark eyes asked the question I didn't want to answer.

“I did too.”

“I'm glad,” Richard said. “Any thoughts on what we should do next?”

I forgot I