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He didn’t like the way he had been summarily dismissed a few moments ago, the only difference had been that he hadn’t been thrown out, he could make his own way to the street.

He stopped in the hallway at the bottom of the stairs, and wondered why he had allowed himself to be treated like that. Frowning, he retraced his steps and marched into the bathroom.

Tania was in the shower, singing an old Abba song.

Calvin cleared his throat but she didn’t hear. Deciding that he needed an excuse for being there, he lifted the lavatory seat and began to urinate.

Tania slid back the door of the shower, holding her exfoliating sponge, protectively in front of her.

‘Calvin, what the hell are you doing here? I thought you’d gone. You frightened me half to death.’

Calvin shook his penis to release the last few drops, tucked it away and zipped up his jeans. He walked to the sink, ran the hot tap and lathered his hands with the soap from the dish before he replied.

‘I needed to pee,’ he said eventually. He rinsed his hands, then washed them again with scented, liquid-soap from the handwash dispenser.

‘I can bloody well see that. Do you always take a piss when someone is in the shower?’ Tania glared at him.

‘Nearly always,’ he said, then corrected himself. ‘If I’m overnighting with someone, that is.’

‘Well, you don’t do it here. In my book, some moments should be private, and taking a piss, having a shit, and showering, are on the front page of that book, written in seventy-five sized, BOLD! Font.’

‘No need for the vitriol,’ Calvin replied, sulkily. ‘Look, are we still on for tomorrow night? I can’t wait to get you back in bed again. I’ll bring more wine, and I’ll pay for the takeaway.’

Tania thought about it for far longer than Calvin had imagined she would.

‘All right. But, there are new rules.’

‘Rules? What rules?’

‘One, you don’t ask me to rate your sexual performance, or compare you to anyone else. Two, you leave when I tell you to leave. Three, and this one is super-important, you don’t take a piss while I’m in the sodding shower.’

Calvin’s face reddened. He wasn’t used to being ordered about by anyone, let alone a woman. He was about to give her a few alternative rules of his own when he noticed the scowl on her face and thought better of it. She was, after all, an excellent shag. He bit his tongue and forced a smile.

‘Same time tomorrow then? I’ll look forward to it.’

Tania relaxed, closed the shower door, and continued with the Abba song.

Calvin left the bathroom door open as he left. He muttered to himself as he stomped back down the stairs. When he reached the front door, he turned and gave the stairs a two-fingered salute.

She’ll come around eventually, one way or another. They all do.

Back out on the street, Calvin checked his prized Bulova watch, and walked around to the University Campus offices, stopping to pick up a pale-blue folder and a portable hard-disk containing his work files, from his car. He hadn’t been into the office for weeks. He waved to the Spanish receptionist, then blew her a kiss when she waved back. He took the lift to the third floor, and made his way to a small office at the end of a short, photo-print lined, corridor. As he was opening the door to enter, he heard his name being called, in not too friendly a manner.

‘Calvin?’

He turned with a questioning look on his face.

‘Hi, Darren, how are you?’

Darren Freedman was the head of IT. The main man. His boss. Calvin forced a smile.

‘Could you step into my office, Calvin. I need a word.’

Calvin didn’t like the tone in his voice. There was trouble ahead.

‘If it’s the report on the problems with the backup system, I’ve got it here. It took forever to work out what was wrong.’ Calvin waved the folder at Darren.

‘That report was due two weeks ago,’ Darren said abruptly. ‘It’s irrelevant now; we paid outside contractors to sort it out. It took them less than an hour.’

Calving gulped. This was a little bit more serious than he had imagined.

In Darren’s office, Calvin stood in front of his superior’s desk while he searched through emails on his computer.

‘Calvin. You were sent… five emails, asking you for that report. Did you read any of them?’

Calvin thought quickly.

‘I didn’t receive them; my laptop has developed a problem with the hard drive.’ He showed the portable drive to Darren. ‘I brought it with me to see if I can retrieve the data from it.’

‘So, you didn’t read any of the emails?’

‘As I said, I—’

Darren held up a hand to silence him, selected an email and clicked ‘print’. The laser printer on his desk immediately sprang into life. Darren removed the printed sheet from the printer’s out-tray, and passed it to Calvin.

‘It’s a pity you didn’t get this one, as it informs you that your services are no longer required by the university.’

‘You, you, can’t do that, I have a contract,’ Calvin spluttered.

Darren picked up a file from his desk. ‘Ah, yes, your contract. The contract that states that as a contractor, you will spend at least twenty hours a week on site. The contract that states that you will assist students with IT related projects and problems. The contract that you signed, stating that you possessed a Master’s degree in Business Management and Information Technology when, in fact, you left university with just a basic degree. It begs the question, where did you get that Master’s certificate from? We only found out about that little scam earlier this week. Now, I’d like you to clear your desk, and get out.’ He pointed a Sir Alan Sugar style finger at Calvin. ‘You’re fired,’ he said.

Calvin shrugged and tried to act as though he wasn’t bothered in the slightest.

‘I’ll soon find something else. You owe me this month’s salary. When can I expect it to arrive in

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