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his pants. Lord Khial opened the door for Jian. They made their way down the stairs side by side. Occasionally a knuckle brushed a hand. At the bottom of the stairs, Jian motioned for Lord Khial to precede him. Jian couldn't help but notice the strong stride of the man in front of him.

In the dining room, Rianald set a feast before them. Jian reached for the berries, then pulled back. The sweets were an indulgence. But he remembered he was no longer a monk. So he heaped them onto his plate.

"How long can you stay with us?" Lord Khial asked.

Jian wanted to stay with Chanyn forever. But that wasn't possible, regardless of his new station. Chanyn was a bonded woman. "I'll stay as long as you need me, my lord."

Lord Khial brightened at this answer. "The temple can spare you for a while?"

Jian hesitated. They would find out, sooner or later. "I've been thro—" He choked on the word. He cleared his throat and shoved the truth into the light of day. "I've been thrown out of the temple."

"Thrown out?"

"Well, not thrown, but I am unable to return."

"Since when?"

"Since the night I came for you."

"Because of me?"

Jian wobbled his head yes and no. "Because of my feelings for Lady Chanyn."

"Because you love her?"

Jian gave a firm nod, then popped another cherry into his mouth.

"So, you're a free man?"

Jian hadn't thought of it that way. He'd thought only in the negative. He wasn't a monk. "Yes. It would appear that I am."

A free man. A third son. Discarded three times now.

"What will you do?"

Jian frowned, his brows furrowed. He would have to find some employment. The best situation would likely be as a manservant. Ideally, he would've loved to work for this house and keep an eye on Chanyn. But he would eventually wind up putting more than an eye on her. He respected Lord Khial too much to betray him in such away.

"I'd like you to stay," Lord Khial said.

"I can't. I can't be this close to her and not keep my hands off her."

"Then don't keep your hands off her."

Jian's mouth fell open.

"You could bond with us."

Jian chomped down on the berry in his mouth. The fruit, sweeter than he expected, caused him to wince. Lord Khial's words didn't make sense, so Jian spouted what he knew to be true.

"You can't mean that. It’s the orgasms talking. You should never make decisions so close after sex."

"Fine," Lord Khial said.

Jian's heart stalled at the quick withdrawal.

"Stay a few days, and then I'll ask you again."

Jian blinked. "You can't possibly want me."

Lord Khial didn't meet Jian's eyes. "Lady Chanyn wants you. And Dain wanted me to keep her happy."

It was the same logic Lord Khial'd given Jian about not hurting Chanyn. Lord Dain, and not himself, would be upset if Chanyn were hurt. Jian saw right through it, but he still couldn't quite make himself believe it.

"I'm a third. A discard. All the scandal—"

Lord Khial laughed. This time he did meet Jian's eyes. "This house is full of scandal." Lord Khial looked around, as though it were his first time in the room. "It’s also the happiest home in the city. I think you'd do well as a part of it."

Lord Khial held Jian's glance. The glance was unmistakable. Jian had had love affairs with men before. He knew the look of a man who desired him. The other night, as Lord Khial thrust into Chanyn, Jian imagined the man driving into him. With Chanyn in his arms and Lord Khial moving above him, Jian had nearly climaxed.

Lord Khial must have read Jian's thoughts. His blue eyes widened, his nostrils flared. But he looked away, shame tinting the edges of his eyes. Lord Khial wanted that scene too, but Jian knew it would be some time before he might actually consider acting on it. The loss of Lord Dain still hung heavily in this house and in Lord Khial's heart.

"I am not what happens to me. I choose who I become." Lord Khial's clear blue eyes met Jian's. "You taught me that."

Before Jian could respond, the manservant, Rianald approached.

"Brother Jian, there is a Brother Gerry here to see you. He would not come inside. So, I escorted him to the gardens."

What was Elder Gerry doing here? Was there some emergency at the temple? Or... Jian hesitated to think it. Had he come to offer Jian his robes back? To welcome him back home?

Jian looked to Lord Khial who watched him, clearly wondering the same.

"Would you excuse me a moment, my lord?"

Lord Khial nodded. Jian rose, but then hesitated, his body wedged between two different worlds. Slowly, he turned and headed out the door to the gardens.

Elder Gerry stood admiring the lush blooms, a serene smile on his face. The old man turned at Jian's approach.

"And so, we meet in a garden instead of a field." Elder Gerry said by way of greeting.

It took Jian a moment to understand the reference. The last time they spoke, the older man talked of an ancient koan where individuals would meet in a field passed wrongs and rights. Koans didn't have concrete meanings. You were supposed to sit and think on them at length, potentially for a lifetime.

Jian had no patience for riddles, at the moment. "What brings you here, Elder Gerry?"

Elder Gerry must've heard the impatience in Jian's voice, because he got down to the point. "I come seeking your help, my friend."

Not son. Not brother.

"Whatever I can do, you know I will."

"Your success continues to bear us fruits."

"My success?"

"With Lady Chanyn. Word spread that she conceived a girl child on the first try and then conceived again shortly after her loss. Families of a few young girls are requesting our services as their young daughters approach marriageable age in the next few years."

"What are you asking me? To rejoin the temple?"

"No. I am not asking you to don the robes once more. Your heart is fully entrenched outside of the temple." He

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