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to keep my father away from them, I couldn't let my own fears hurt either of them.

“I will.”

Richard and I settled in to watch a movie and were halfway through it when Matthew came home and headed for the kitchen. Richard flicked off the TV, and we trailed in after him.

He was bent over with his head in the fridge.

Richard smirked and groped his ass. “Hey.”

Matthew stood, a bottled water in his hand. “Oh, hi guys. Thought I heard the TV. Anything good on?”

Richard sat at the table. “No. How was dinner?”

Matthew sipped his water and sat. “Good. I feel bad I haven't told her about us. About Luke. She wants to see where I'm staying and meet you. I've been putting it off. She knows something's up. Most of my stuff's still at her place. I'm scared she's not going to forgive me for keeping this from her.”

I sat next to Richard and eyed him.

“Speaking of that, Luke and I were talking about making things permanent. You could move your stuff in. Tell your mom about us. Have her over here. We'll set this place up so it belongs to all of us.”

The water bottle halted halfway to Matthew's mouth. “Yeah?” He looked at me, those dark eyes unsure, uneasy.

“I'm going to bring over the rest of my stuff from Walter's as soon as I can.”

Matthew set the bottle on the table. “You're gonna live here?”

“I thought I already was,” I said.

“You know what I mean.”

“I want us to live together. Not as a temporary thing, but for real.”

Matthew sat taller. “You do?”

I reached across the table and gave his hand a squeeze. “I do.”

His fingers looped around mine. “I want to live with both of you.”

Richard scooped up Matthew's other hand and kissed his fingers. “Me too.”

I gave Matthew's hand a squeeze and sat back. “I'm sorry about your job, but your boss sounded like an asshole.”

“He was. But I liked working there— up until they hired him.”

Richard took the cue again. “You want to talk about it? Talk about what your plans are?”

“Yeah?” The surprise in his voice tore at my heart. “I've been thinking about going back to school. Last time, I didn't have a clue what I wanted to do, and I messed it all up. I always thought I'd go back.” He swallowed a long gulp of his water and cleared his throat. “I need to give up my membership at the club. I don't have the money. I never did, but I needed it before so I made sure I could swing the fee. Now... we aren't going, and I'm not sure when I'll get another job.”

“I don't see a need for us to go back,” Richard said. “Unless we wanted to play somewhere. But I won't ever want to invite anyone else to join us.”

Matthew's unease melted away. He licked his full lips. I wanted to make love to that mouth. Show him how much I wanted to live with him, how much I wanted to be with him.

I had something to say first. “I don't have any reason to go to the club. I guess I see the point of somewhere we can go as a threesome, but as for playing around, I... I don't want to see anyone else touch either of you.” My knee bounced and my heel tapped the floor repeatedly.

Richard's hand gripped my thigh, and my leg stilled. No one's simple touch had ever ignited such need. Or such peace.

“Okay, Matthew,” Richard said. “Cancel your membership.”

Matthew smiled again. Then his expression sobered. He glanced around the kitchen. “Can we talk about living here? How do we split expenses and stuff?”

“Why don't you each give me what you can, and I'll put it toward the bills.” Richard looked my way. “You could make it the same as what you were paying for rent and utilities at your old place.”

“That wouldn't cover the cost of your water bill. I can swing more.”

“We'll work it out. And Matthew, you can wait until you get another job or figure out what your plans are. I want to know what you're paying your mom too, if you still need to help her, so we can factor that in. If you decide to go back to school, I can help with the money for tuition, give you a loan. We can discuss you assisting with the finances after you're done with school.”

Matthew set his water on the table. “That's... too much. I can't accept you paying for me to live here and for school. Even a loan. That'd be weird. I need to know I can take care of myself.”

“I understand. I've got the money and I want to help.”

“Thanks. I... I've gotta figure this out for myself. I keep messing up. For once, stuff was going good. I thought losing this job was me fucking up again. But maybe... ”

He stood, grabbed his bottle of water, and guzzled the rest as he meandered through the kitchen. He tossed the empty bottle into the recycling, opened the fridge, and stared inside. We'd just stocked it full of water and soda. What the hell else could he be looking for? I shifted in my seat. Waiting for people to talk was hell. Pure, evil, kill-me-now hell. Impatience boiled over. I was about to scream at him. I jammed my thumb into my thigh over and over. The dull pain distracted me from nothing. On the next jam, my thumb struck Richard's hand. He gripped my fingers and pressed my palm to his thigh.

I breathed more easily. Anything was easier when I was touching his body.

Matthew shut the fridge door and came back to the table. “Maybe I'm supposed to do something else. Go to school. Finally figure out what I want to do with my life. Maybe this time, it was a good thing.”

“That's a good way to look at it,” I said. “You should move forward, make your life better. Live here with