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us. Go back to school. Let Richard help you. Let me help you.”

“Thank you. For caring. For listening. For wanting to live with me. I'm gonna try. But right now it's uh, kinda late... ” He flashed us a teasing grin and cupped his groin as he walked backward. “Wanna go to bed— our bed?”

I couldn't hold back the laugh. “Yes.”

Richard stood and pulled me with him, grabbing Matthew before he got too far away. He wrapped his large arms around us. “Welcome home.”

We made love with Matthew suspended between us. He cried out one word as he came. “Home.” And when he landed on the bed, he laughed. “I'm home.”

“We all are,” Richard said.

I grunted my sated agreement. Pride like I'd never known before surged through me. Not pride in my work. Not pride in keeping my father and his men at bay. Not pride in my sexual conquests. Pride in who I was becoming. I'd stayed in the kitchen, listened to Matthew, listened to Richard.

My mind and body relaxed in an entirely new way. My thoughts ran free, spilling out of my subconscious in a rush.

I love having sex with them. I love lying in bed with them. I love listening to them talk to each other.

God, I love... no. I couldn't.

I squeezed my eyes shut and tried hard not to think about those three damn words. It took everything I had to breathe, the pure relaxation long gone.

Chapter Twenty-six

Sleep continued to evade me for the next few nights. I convinced Richard and Matthew to hold off on moving our stuff in, suggesting we should wait until Matthew had a chance to talk with his mother and then rent a small truck to collect everything at once. They agreed, oblivious to my growing discomfort.

What the hell was I afraid of?

Falling in love with someone again? Or losing them?

I'd managed to travel down a slippery path I never thought I'd be able to stay on. I'd found what I'd lost years ago. And not just one man, but two.

But if my father found out, would he make good on his old promise?

I forced the concerns out of my head. I was still there, with them. I had overcome all of my other fears. I relaxed by the fourth day and found myself enjoying the company of both men again.

By the next Friday night, I was enjoying more than Richard's company. Matthew had gone to his mom's again for dinner. Richard and I made it an early night. We sucked each other off, sixty-nine-style, in the middle of the bed, and fell asleep soon after, Richard curled around me, my hand on his hip.

I awoke a few hours later to an empty bed. At first, it didn't seem odd— years of sleeping alone were hard to erase from the memory. Then sleep escaped me, and the peculiarity settled in. The bed wasn't supposed to be empty next to me. Not anymore. Not ever again if I could get up the nerve to order the damn moving truck.

I checked the clock. 1:36 a.m.

Where the hell were they?

I descended two stairs before I heard it: a low moan from the living room.

What the fuck?

They were screwing around without me. Why would they go to the living room? Any time before when two of us awoke wanting something physical together, we stayed in the bed. None of us saw a need to leave the third person out of it.

Or maybe they were doing more. What else would they hide from me? I wasn't surprised they wanted to have sex in the one way we'd agreed not to do outside the three of us. It was going to become a necessity. I didn't think any of us would mind, once we all said yes.

But we had an agreement.

I considered heading back to bed and letting them have their fun, but I wanted them to know they'd been caught. Hell, I might as well get off too.

I swallowed hard and turned the corner, anxious and not just a little bit aroused at what I'd see.

Both men were seated on the couch, fully clothed, Matthew's head on Richard's chest. His dark hair was mussed, and tears clung to his face. Richard spoke low, comforting words. His large hand stroked Matthew's back, smoothing the fabric of his shirt as he petted the smaller man.

I wanted to turn away, climb the stairs, and crawl back into bed.

Fucking I could join in on. Crying and hugging— I didn't know how to handle that.

Richard lifted his head. My heart raced at the concern on his face. Not good. Worse than Matthew getting fired. Worse than the night Richard drank with him.

He waved me over.

My legs twitched, wanting to move away from them as if they'd received an autopilot message from my brain; but when Matthew's miserable, tear-filled eyes met mine, I lurched for the couch and dropped to my knees.

“What is it?”

Richard answered. “He told his mom about us. She asked him not to come back. Said she needed some time. Said she's confused, disappointed.”

“She doesn't get it, doesn't know why I need this.” Matthew's voice cracked. His eyes were bloodshot, his pale skin ashen, his full lips dry. “She's never not accepted me— accepted who I am.”

My gut churned. Matthew wasn't supposed to look like that, to sound like that. He was fire and light and bounce. Pain and fear didn't look right on him.

“I was about to tell him I think we should go see her.” Richard lifted Matthew's chin. “Help her to understand.”

“You will?”

Air filled my lungs when Matthew smiled. But his expression changed as he turned to me.

“We will,” I said.

“She might deal better if she got to know you, if she saw us together.”

“That's what I'm thinking,” Richard said.

I nodded.

Matthew dragged me onto the couch until we lay in a pile with him laughing between us.

I adjusted my tie for the third time and inspected it in the bathroom mirror. It still didn't