Seven Demons Aidan Truhen (reading an ebook TXT) đź“–
- Author: Aidan Truhen
Book online «Seven Demons Aidan Truhen (reading an ebook TXT) 📖». Author Aidan Truhen
“Is that what you think?”
“I think that is the most straightforward way. The system does not confirm with voice or heartbeat so he can be unconscious just so long as he is alive.”
“Taser?”
“Medication of course Tasers can be unpredictable.”
“So can medication.”
“Tcha.”
“I guess.”
“You’re not happy.”
“I have forebodings Doc I feel there is something I don’t see.”
“You will see it. That is what you do.”
“I guess.”
“You see universes of crime.”
“Aw shucks.”
“Call Friday and tell him the Riccardi woman is fine. It will make him happy plus you like him.”
“…I guess that I do.”
“Call him. It is nice for boys to be friends.”
“I don’t know about friends exactly—”
“Price. It is okay to have friends.”
“Yeah I suppose.”
—
VoIP outgoing—
“Hey Friday.”
“Mr. Price?”
“Yeah it me.”
“You do not sound well.”
“I have something in my throat.”
“Oh do you wish to cough? It is important. Many people from countries where coughing is considered embarrassing die every year because they leave meals to cough in the corridor or the bathroom and they die by choking.”
“They what now?”
“Jes. It is awful.”
“…Yeah it is about one of the most worst things I’ve ever heard.”
“That cannot possibly be true.”
“…No I guess not.”
“…”
“…”
“Are you injured?”
“No no I’m fine. Mostly fine I have a hole in me. Two holes actually that are not natural to my basic you know humanity there is one in my leg and one in my neck.”
“That…does not sound fine.”
“I just wanted you to know that—I mean yeah there was some stuff—but the programmer lady she is fine too.”
“O God will she recover?”
“Jesus Friday no she is fine—she is FINE—like she is fine like perfectly okay. Embarrassed now and a little guilty and she will be really really pissed off when she figures it out but—fine. No injuries and all what you said. No lasting trauma.”
“…That is actually very good of you to tell me.”
“Yeah man I’m just a guy trying to get along I keep saying.”
“Thank you, then.”
“You’re welcome man.”
“That is—all?”
“Yeah man that’s all. I mean hug everyone for me.”
“…I will.”
“You don’t have to if it’s weird. It’s weird isn’t it?”
“Jes. Very.”
“Okay don’t hug anyone but maybe tell them I said.”
“What will you do now?”
“Now I gotta get this done. I’m buying a chair and we’re running out of pigs.”
“…And inevitably I am sorry that I asked.”
“Love you man bye.”
“…”
“…”
“It is not like you to speak in this way.”
“Yeah man Doc is helping me with my emotional well-being I guess. She says it is okay to be friends.”
“With me?”
“Yeah I guess.”
“Well that is—nice.”
“Isn’t it?”
“Jes?”
“…”
“…”
“Bye man I gotta go.”
“…Goodbye.”
And then Charlie says:
“ROOT! ROOOOOOOOOT! I AM ROOOOOT!”
NINE
YOU HAVE NOT HEARD A MUPPET ORGASM VOICE until you have heard Charlie’s Muppet orgasm voice. You might think that in a professional setting this is inappropriate but in fact with creative people you have to accept a certain amount of inappropriate. The Muppet orgasm voice is an important part of Charlie’s oeuvre and you do not fuck with the oeuvre.
“MM MMM MMMMM! OOOOOOOOOHHHH YES! YES YES!”
And then:
“I AM ROOT I AM ROOT I AM ROOT!
“I.
“AM.
“ROOT!”
Charlie puts her head round the door.
“I am root,” she says.
“Gotcha.”
This is genuinely a very good thing it means Charlie has certain powers like total domination over the mere matter of the security system at Kircheisen and these powers are significant. We put i am root in the assets list on the board and Charlie says it like ten more times before Doc writes it in the no column next to crime vagina.
So now Doc only needs my distraction to be ready and to kidnap a guy and she is all in.
I need to go to an arcade. With coin-op video games.
Yes they still have those.
Incoming call ring ring:
“Hi it is Banjo Telemark the great artist OR IS IT hello?”
“Mr. Telemark it is Jacinta Globus good morning you may now leave the house without concern for arrest.”
“I may?”
“Yes. I have filed” blah blah law blah blah papers and also blah blah precedent in triplicate ingenuity blah Federal Government v. Go Fuck Yourself 1997 blah blah money power “so that is fine.”
“O thank you.”
“You should obviously take care to commit no infractions of any kind even for the sake of art or JONAS task force will almost certainly take full advantage of it.”
“My art is all entirely legal I assure you.”
“I am prepared to take that on faith you are a client.”
“O good.”
“But I should point out that even an ambiguous situation would afford them the opportunity to arrest you. In the normal run of things I find your approach to art hugely amusing. However in this context I must inform you it would be better if you did not indulge your need to epertay laborjwazay.”
“I beg your pardon that would be teper zlaborjwa is that Polish?”
“No it is not Pig Latin Mr. Telemark it is French it means to outrage the straights.”
“O yes I see.”
“Do not outrage the straights for another week Mr. Telemark and then we will have all this sorted out permanently.”
“Thank you Ms. Globus.”
“You are welcome Mr. Telemark.”
“Please send me an enormous bill.”
“Of course.”
—
I like arcades and this one is a classic. There is air hockey and there is actual Pong and actual Space Invaders and Asteroids alongside all the modern cabinet games which you sit in. There is that thing with the bubbles that you shoot with little harpoons which I have not seen since the ’90s when it was in every airport departures hall on Earth. There are no tickets here and no tokens you just pay and play and the costs are high but honest. Even the claw machine which lets you win marmot toys is honest I win seven marmots in little red hats that yodel when you squeeze them. I also win a bag to put them in because Switzerland.
Finally I play the Star Wars machine for an hour.
It is a two-person game and the other
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