Discovering Truths B. Benfield (ereader ebook .TXT) 📖

in a rehab facility. There, I learned how to cope with my issues and manage them properly. My anxiety and depression became too much to bear and I felt as if I had no other options. I couldn’t continue to live my life in a constant state of lowliness and anxiousness. Seeking help was the best decision I ever made. I felt like a new woman. Although I still relied on daily medication, I felt as if I could now conquer anything, and that wasn’t something I’d never believed before. Sometimes I wondered if things would have turned out differently for me if I’d have gotten the help earlier. I’d never know for sure, but I knew I was in the right place now.

After extensive testing and proving that I was not suicidal, I was released from the hospital. Marcus and I proceeded with the divorce and it was done quickly. He kept his word and gave me a check from our savings. One hundred and fifty thousand dollars still sat in my bank account, but I wasn’t sure that I’d ever touch it. I took everything that I wanted from our house, and he didn’t say a single negative word about it. I lived with Melinda now and most of my stuff sat in a storage building, but when I was ready to move out on my own, I was equipped with everything I needed. Once I was moved in and settled with her, I made the decision to seek help. Although I had just begun my new position, I took some time off to attend the six-week program. To my surprise, Mike came in and filled in for me while I was gone. I came back ready to start fresh and since then, I couldn’t be more pleased with the way my life has been going.

Marcus texts occasionally and although I’d like to cut him off completely, I don’t have it in me. We spent a lot of our lives together and even though our marriage failed, we know and understand each other. I wouldn’t call us friends, but we’ve stayed acquainted. Talking to him unmarried is actually bearable. Now that we don’t have that piece of paper binding us as one, I feel like I can actually stand him. We both made mistakes and I’ve learned how to accept them and move forward. Occasionally he’ll throw in a random apology for everything he caused, but I always insist that he let it go. The guilt has really gotten to him. Maybe someday he’ll learn to move on too.

I’ll never talk about my mistake. Gage came into my life at a time that I was vulnerable, and he turned my world upside down.  On top of all the other struggles I already faced, his presence in my life was a train wreck. At the time, I thought I needed him. More than anything, that was the hardest thing to accept and deal with. My love for him was real. The heartbreak was real. I still think about him and the what ifs, but if we were meant to be together…we would be. He kept true to his word and tried to “stay friends,” but after a few messages, I blocked all communication with him. For my wellbeing, I had to do it. The other day, my mind started to wander and I talked Melinda into stalking him on social media. From what I could see, it looked like he and his wife were separated. Last year, I would have been thrilled at the news, but now, I couldn’t care less. If he wanted me, things would have gone differently for us too.

Melinda and I were enjoying the bachelorette life and I loved every minute of it. I’m in a new head space, focusing on my job and my new life. I talk to Taylor and Damien often. Taylor broke up with her boyfriend and stayed in Georgia. She got a teaching position at an elementary school and will be starting soon. Damien and I communicate nearly every day. Being in the same company, we often talk through the instant messaging system at work. After hours, we spend time texting or video chatting. Who knows, maybe there’s something there. I’m not going to rush it. I’m taking everything day by day and really focusing on what’s best for me.

I’ve always dreamed of the perfect husband, kids in the yard, and the white picket fence, but maybe that’s not in the cards for me. Although I’ve moved on, my mistake still haunts me and I ask for forgiveness every day. Sometimes I worry that my karma will be living in solitary for the rest of my life. I don’t let those thoughts bring me down, but they still cross my mind. Things are changing for me. I can only hope that I’m given another chance at making my life what I’ve always yearned for.

Throughout everything I’ve been through, one thing that remained constant was the truth. Although not always easy to receive, it always prevails.

Behind every story and every secret lies a truth. How you choose to accept that truth determines your future…creates your fate.

The End

Acknowledgements

 

Wow…after four years, it feels awesome to have another book out. First and foremost, thank you to my readers who have stuck by me and supported me! You’ll never know how much I appreciate it! Thank you so much for reading! There is definitely more to come!

Shannah- my best friend of over twenty years and fabulous editor, thank you so much for everything! You’ve been my sidekick since my first book in 2014, and we’ve come a long way since then! Thank you for helping me make my books the best they can be! You are awesome! I love you!

Shevawn Michelle- my author BFF and one of my biggest supporters…you are the best! Thank you for being my biggest cheerleader,