Infinity Reaper Adam Silvera (best books to read in life .txt) 📖

“Buh, buh, buh, buh!” Wyatt shakes his finger. “You didn’t take kindly to my ‘low-budget science-fiction-movie rip-off’ but that doesn’t mean you can rob me of my dramatics.” He shifts his attention back to me. “I was wondering perhaps if we could repair your memories and almost overlooked how phoenixes don’t always return with their previous life’s memories. That doesn’t mean they’re lost forever. It simply requires more of a journey.”

“A journey back through time,” Brighton says. “He thinks we can go back in time.”

Wyatt’s jaw drops. “You bastard.”

Brighton smirks.

I’m not making the connection. “I’m sorry. What? How are we time-traveling?”

“Don’t frame it too literally. Unlike your brother’s accusation, this won’t run the narrative of standard time-travel movies that come with a bunch of rules about not bumping into your past self or even so much as moving a single rock without changing the course of history.” Wyatt sits on the table beside me with the book in his lap. “You see, phoenixes need history. When they resurrect they are carrying their past lives with them through time, but they can move backward if they desire—it’s known as retrocycling. It’s a necessary function for phoenixes whose memories have been fractured, such as yours, to return through their past lives and gather the wisdom they need to avoid repeating mistakes. If phoenixes can retrocycle, I don’t see why you can’t travel through your own bloodlines.”

I always thought the memories of my past lives were lost in time. I’ve read up a little on phoenixes retrocycling, but that’s not something I thought I could pull off. After the Halo Knights were killed at the museum and Kirk was giving up Gravesend to turn me into some science experiment, he was speculating if I could slip into my previous lives. Luna didn’t answer his question. I’m not sure if she even knows herself if this is possible for phoenix specters.

“You think I can work my way back through Bautista’s life?”

“Perhaps. Then you can see for yourself what Bautista and Sera were planning with their power-binding potion.”

Assuming any of this is legit, my life grows more and more surreal. There’s a chance I can transport myself to the past and become one with Bautista? I really can’t believe this. I turn and Brighton seems to believe it just fine. Envy is written all over his face.

“What about me?” Brighton asks. “And Maribelle. You said this would affect all of us, but we don’t have past lives like Emil.”

“Of course you doubt reincarnation,” Tala says before Wyatt can speak. “And you continue to know nothing about the blood of the creature within you.”

“A phoenix has two bloodlines,” Wyatt gently says. “The first tracing back to their family. The second flowing infinitely from their personal life cycle. If my theory holds any weight, there will be opportunities for Brighton and Maribelle to retrocycle too through their familial bloodlines.”

Maribelle’s face lights up for the first time in ages, but a shadow seems to come over her as quickly. “I . . . I can’t see Mama and Papa. Only Bautista and Sera.”

“You can see Aurora and Lestor,” Brighton says. “But I’m guessing they would have to be around Bautista and Sera. Shouldn’t be too hard since they were all original Spell Walkers.” A smile is creeping up on him. “I can see Dad with my power.”

Much like Maribelle, I’m taken aback. I was on the edge of a thought of which moments in the past I’d love to reexperience with Dad, when I remember that even though he’s my father we’re not linked by blood. If this war ever settles and I get the time I need to process every ounce of trauma, I’d like to imagine myself finding peace over being secretly adopted sooner rather than later. But the goalpost seems to move further and further away any time the world reminds me that I was living a lie for eighteen years.

I bet I’ve got that same envious expression that Brighton had moments ago.

Then it hits me.

“Can Brighton only go back through the bloodline of someone if they’re dead?” I ask.

“I believe so,” Wyatt says. “The idea is you’re connecting to other lives to aid the one you have.”

I turn to Brighton. “So you could try to retrocycle to Ma. That’ll tell us whether or not—”

“She’s alive or dead,” Brighton says, talking over me as if it’s his idea.

I hope to everything that Brighton can’t experience Ma’s history.

“I’m so confused,” Prudencia says. I’m realizing she’s the only celestial in a room with Halo Knights and phoenix specters talking about past lives. “How do Halo Knights even know about a phoenix’s process of retrocycling? I take it a phoenix didn’t come back from their trip from the past and tell you about their vacation.”

Wyatt shakes the book in the air. “My moment has come!” He opens to the page he bookmarked earlier. “Storytime, gentlepeople.”

Two centuries ago, when the Halo Knights were forming to combat injustices against phoenixes, insights were passed from one to the next to create a codex on how best to serve the firebirds. In those early days, there were many accounts of phoenixes inexplicably hibernating within their own fires. For some, hibernation lasted a day while others stretched for weeks. Each time the Haloes believed the phoenixes were preparing for their deaths, but the phoenixes in all cases were coming back smarter and stronger. A historian, Elodie Badeaux, traveled the world to explore this phenomenon.

I almost lose focus daydreaming about the life Elodie got to live and wishing it were my own, but I know good and well that I would’ve never been able to crack this code. Thankfully she was at the top of her game, interviewing all the Haloes about the specific differences in the phoenixes before and after hibernation. In one case, a sky swimmer in its sixth life seemed to have forgotten how to swim; then when she woke up after three days, she sped toward the ocean and gleefully dove in