Nelson's Lady Hamilton Meynell, Esther (read 50 shades of grey .txt) 📖

had many times declared that his motto was "All or nothing," and he followed it out in this aspect of his life, as in all others. Captain Mahan says truly, "The same

disregard of consequences that hazarded all for all, in battle or for duty, broke through the barriers within which prudence, reputation, decency, or even weakness or cowardice, confine the actions of lesser men." He had " the reckless singleness of heart which was not ashamed to own its love, but rather gloried in the public exhibition of a faith in the worthiness of its object, and a constancy, which never wavered to the hour of his death."

He sacrificed his wife and his own fair and untarnished name for Emma's sake—he gave her all he had to give, which was much, and never, while he lived, counted the cost or looked back. He gave Lady Nelson a handsome allowance, and, when finally parting from her, made the generous but, under the circumstances, somewhat curious statement: " I call God to witness there is nothing in you or your conduct I wish otherwise." Lady Nelson wrote to her husband three times after their separation : once to thank him for his " generosity and tenderness" in giving her an ample allowance ; once to declare her " thankfulness and happiness " for his safety after the Battle of the Baltic ; and the third time, at the close of 180 1, asking that the past might be forgotten and the breach between them healed. In jdoing this, Frances Nelson showed herself the reverse of an unforgiving and indignant wife, for Nelson's last letter to her, in March of the same year, had been

very harsh in tone, and he had ended by saying, "Living, I have done all in my power for you, and if dead, you will find I have done the same ; therefore, my only wish is to be left to myself."

There is another allusion to his wife in a letter Nelson wrote Emma in the September of 1801 :—

" I had, yesterday, a letter from my father; he seems to think, that he may do something which I shall not like. I suppose, he means, going to Somerset Street. Shall I, to an old man, enter upon the detestable subject; it may shorten his days. But, I think, I shall tell him, that I cannot go to Somerset Street, to see him. But, I shall not write till I hear your opinion. If I once begin, you know, it will all out, about her, and her ill-treatment to her son. But, you shall decide/ 1

Neither Nelson nor Emma, once the break was made, showed any feeling for Lady Nelson's position. Emma, with jarring bad taste, gave her the nickname of " Tom-Tit," and writing in February, shortly after Nelson's separation from his wife, she says, " Tom-tit does not come to town. She offered to go down, but was refused. She only wanted to go, to do mischief to all the great JOVE'S relations. 'Tis now shewn, all her ill-treatment and bad heart. Jove has found it out." Jove was the name Nelson was sometimes called by his family, in allusion to his title of

286 NELSON'S LADY HAMILTON

Bronte — the Thunderer. On another occasion, writing to Mrs. William Nelson, whom she vows is so " congenial/' Emma says, " Not so with Tom Tit, for their was an antipathy not to be described."

Lady Nelson had not the temperament to make many friendships, but Nelson's father always clung to her, and Hardy, in spite of his immense attachment to Nelson, took her side entirely in the quarrel, and continued to pay her attention when her husband had deserted her. In his " Letters " there are several allusions to her; in one, written in the summer of 1802, he says : " I breakfasted this morning with Lady Nelson. I am more pleased with her if possible than ever ; she certainly is one of the Best Women in the World." Even when dismissed so unwarrantably from any further share in her husband's life, Lady Nelson seems to have cherished no bitter feelings. Sir William Hotham, who knew her till her death in 1831, said: " She continually talked of him, and always attempted to palliate his conduct towards her, was warm and enthusiastic in her praises of his public achievements, and bowed down with dignified submission to the errors of his domestic life." In later years she lived with her son and his family, and her eldest grandchild remembered all her life how her grandmother had constantly with her a miniature of Nelson, at which she used to look long and

sadly, and how she would say, " When you are older, little Fan, you too may know what it is to have a broken heart."

And so Frances Nelson passed out of Nelson's life. She was not the stuff from which heroes' wives are made; she lacked fire, enthusiasm, passion; but, according to the light that was in her, she loved Nelson. Such women are doomed, however, to be eclipsed by the Emmas of the world.

Having broken finally and completely with his wife, Nelson was drawn still more closely to the woman who was now everything to him, for at the end of January, 1801, their child, Horatia, was born. With extraordinary adroitness, Emma Hamilton contrived to conceal this by no means trifling incident from the knowledge of all save her mother, Mrs. Cadogan, and possibly a few servants. She retired to her room under the pretext of a severe cold, and for a few days refused to see any one. The physical and moral hardihood involved are alike astonishing. Sir William Hamilton was, of course, in the