At First Sight Hannah Sunderland (free e books to read online txt) 📖

After what seemed like minutes of silent staring, I was ready for her to do anything, scream, slap him, full-on murder, just anything that would relieve this tension.

But they just stared at each other, blue eyes on brown.

Siobhan broke the silence by exhaling loudly, her shaky breath whistling through her nose as she raised her hand into the air. Slap him it is, I thought, and I braced myself to see Charlie assaulted a second time. But to my surprise, her hand rose only to his shoulder where she placed it down gently and she drew her shaking bottom lip into her mouth.

‘Yer took your time comin’ back to see me,’ she said, her voice betraying her outward strength.

Charlie shook his head, the first of the tears shed today filling his eyes, and he murmured the words: ‘I’m sorry.’

‘Now, now. There’ll be none of that.’ She attempted a smile. ‘I’m just glad yer finally made it.’

Without another word, Charlie fell into her arms like an exhausted child. She cupped a reassuring hand, thin-fingered and running with dark veins, on the back of his head. I could see Charlie’s shoulders shuddering and knew that he was sobbing, something he’d wanted more than anything to avoid doing. Tears began to roll down Siobhan’s face too, her eyes so used to it by now that she looked rather at peace with it all. I guess that, really, Siobhan and Charlie were the only two people, other than Kenna, who could even come close to understanding each other’s grief.

It was a long moment before Charlie stepped back and I noted the embarrassed look on Eoin’s face as his son wiped away his tears.

‘Get yerself together now, lad. I’ll have no more tears from either of us. Understand?’ Siobhan said firmly, sniffling and righting his hair with her bony hand. ‘Now, this girl here,’ she said nodding in my direction but keeping her eyes locked to Charlie’s. My heart leapt. ‘This yer girlfriend?’ she asked bluntly and I looked around nervously at people’s reactions.

‘Erm, I don’t … We haven’t … erm …’ He turned to me for help but found me as flailing as he was. ‘I don’t know,’ he said.

Siobhan smiled understandingly and turned to me with an outstretched hand. I placed mine in hers, because I was frightened of what would happen if I didn’t, and she squeezed my fingers with a strength I hadn’t expected. ‘Well, aren’t yer lovely.’ I didn’t know if I was supposed to answer or what I’d say if I did. ‘You’ll have to bring her when yer come back to see me again.’ She smiled sadly, lifting one of her hands from mine and taking Charlie’s, like we were children being led to the supermarket.

‘Now come on,’ she said, walking us both up the stone steps. ‘We need to get a good seat up the front and what in the name of the sweet baby Jesus are yer wearin’, Carrick Stone?’

Inside, the church was all tall ceilings and polished columns. From inside, the rose window that had looked dull from outside, burst into segments of reds, blues and yellows. Filled with so much more life this side than from the other. I guessed that was the same with most things really. The way you look at it makes all the difference. More stained glass lined the walls in hues of purple and blue and the altar stood proudly up at the front, ornate and glistening in gold and reds.

It felt odd, sitting in the front pew. I hadn’t known Abi and I suspected that she was turning in her grave even having me in the same building that was about to honour her memory, but Charlie wanted me there and I wouldn’t be the world’s most dedicated counsellor if I turned tail and ran like I wanted to. Charlie sat with me on one side and Siobhan on the other, her hand in his throughout the service.

It was almost two by the time Charlie had finished making small talk with people he hadn’t seen in years, accepting their condolences with gritted teeth. He gave Jamie a wide berth and talked with people as if he wasn’t on the verge of tears again, as if what had just happened hadn’t made him feel as if he was dying.

I made my way over to the river and leaned against the wall. The water burbled by slowly and the sound was a calming quiet after an hour of talking, prayer and music. Enjoy that, did yer?

Oh shit, not her again.

I opened my eyes and there she was, sitting on the wall, her long arms crossed over her chest and her eyes watching the dissipating crowd. ‘Not in the way you’re insinuating, no,’ I replied quietly.

Well, my mother likes yer. Maybe yer can invite her to your wedding for old time’s sake.

‘Why are you so mean to me?’ I asked.

Don’t ask me, love, I’m the product of your brain.

‘I don’t want him to forget you or replace you and I think you know that.’

If you know it, then I do. I’m inside your brain, remember? She smiled and it held the slightest hint of affection.

‘I just want him to be happy,’ I said, closing my eyes and breathing in the fresh spring air.

I heard shuffling feet behind me and when I opened my eyes again, Abi was gone.

‘Who yer talkin’ to?’ I turned, just in time to see Charlie join me at the flower-strewn wall.

‘Oh, no one,’ I replied. ‘Just myself.’ It wasn’t a complete lie. ‘So, what happens now?’

‘They’re all going to the Aughaval, but I thought we could walk back to Siobhan’s and I could show yer a couple of places in town?’

‘Aughaval?’ I asked.

He nodded. ‘It’s the name of the graveyard.’

My brows knitted together in the middle. ‘Oh, well in that case, don’t you think you should go with them?’

He sighed and looked down at the