The Unbroken C. Clark (best books to read for self development .txt) 📖

She rolled her eyes. Stupid. These were the kinds of things Tibeau and Pruett had done when they were kids, not her. She scowled. The reflection contorted, bitter, angry, even ugly in its confusion.

Touraine’s breath skipped in her chest. She tried the scowl again, conjuring up all her resentment.

There. That was a familiar face.

The Jackal’s daughter.

The creak of Luca’s door behind her made Touraine jump.

Luca stood there, pale and sick-looking against the darkness of her room.

“You took my mirror?”

Touraine turned it over on her bed, smothering herself.

When Touraine didn’t explain, Luca looked down at her bare feet. Her pale toes splayed across the rug.

“What did the rebels say?” she asked, just before the silence became even more awkward.

“Oh.” It didn’t seem like what Luca had planned to say. Touraine flipped the mirror over in her hands again. When she saw her face, she saw Jaghotai’s disgust. “They said you’ve a deal.”

A week later, Luca got news that made Touraine’s stomach sink further.

They were working together in the official governor-general’s office on the compound when an aide brought a report from General Cantic.

The aide tipped his cap to Touraine with a smile as she took it. She barely registered the kindness, she felt so leaden.

“From Cantic? I’ll take it.” Luca held out her hand expectantly.

The camaraderie they’d built over the last months remained chilled over. They still shared quiet moments together during her Shālan lessons, and Luca wasn’t stingy with her praise as Touraine progressed, but every moment was taut with the words they’d said and the ones they hadn’t. Touraine sought refuge in the role of obedient soldier. No, obedient assistant.

She watched Luca from behind that wall of quiet obedience and saw the princess pale. Luca looked at Touraine and back at the paper.

“Touraine, two squads of colonials—” Luca looked away, eyes fixed on a small, desiccated lizard perched on a shelf, as if it had the words she wanted to say.

Touraine already knew she didn’t want to hear the rest. She asked anyway. “What about them?”

Luca spoke in a rush. “Cantic sent two squads of colonials from Rose Company to deal with the desert tribes disrupting our supply lines to the inner colonial cities and their compounds. They haven’t come back.”

A spike of adrenaline helped keep Touraine upright. “Let’s go get them, then. Maybe they were taken prisoner.”

Luca was already shaking her head. “I know these people. I’ve been reading Cheminade’s books on them, and they don’t take prisoners. They’re… like beasts. And I don’t mean that they’re uncivilized. I mean that… they think they are animals. They leave their dead like carcasses in the open plains instead of giving them proper burnings.”

She stood and limped around her desk, reaching for Touraine’s hand. “I’m sorry—”

Touraine pulled her hand back. “My squad, they’re still—”

“They’re still stationed in the city. ”

Touraine hid her face. She was ashamed to feel so relieved. Rose Company was her company. She’d grown up with those Sands. She’d fought beside them. She felt Luca’s gentle hand on her shoulder.

“I’m so sorry,” the princess whispered.

“Then why not send the blackcoats?” growled Touraine. She backed away from Luca’s hand again. “Why send us—why send the conscripts?”

Luca stared blankly at her until understanding clicked.

“Touraine, they’re soldiers. It’s their job. The general deploys them based on skill and needs.”

Touraine knew all about skills and needs and the “sacrifices” that must be made.

“Then why is it always us first? The first to fight, the first to die?”

“What do you want me to do, Touraine?” Luca gestured in the direction of Cantic’s office. “Tell Cantic to never let them fight again?”

“That’s the problem, Luca.” Touraine gestured through the sandstone walls at Cantic’s office and toward the city, too. Her eyes burned, and all of Cheminade’s old junk blurred. Her voice came out hoarse, barely above a whisper. “It’s not a matter of let. They never chose this. They’re not getting rewarded for valor with ribbons and raises. We just die, and when we die, we’re not even worth the wood to burn us.”

Luca made a small sound as if she’d been punched in the belly.

Touraine’s faith in Luca’s ability to keep the rebels from turning the guns on the Sands dwindled to nothing.

This time, the princess didn’t try to touch her again, even though now a part of Touraine wanted the warm touch of sympathy. But the distance between who Luca was and who Touraine could be gaped impossibly wide.

Touraine sniffed, stepped back, and bowed. “May I be excused, Your Highness?”

Luca ran her hand over her messy blond hair. She started to speak twice before finally saying, “Of course. Take as much time as you need.”

CHAPTER 22AN ALLIANCE

The day Luca meant to meet the rebels, she thought she’d die of the heat first. The last two weeks had seen the dry season rise to a peak, and the sun seared like a judging eye over the city.

Or maybe Luca only imagined it, and the heat was the flush of guilt as she diverted one hundred guns away from her military to her military’s de facto adversary. Old guns, likely to be jammed or to backfire in the shooter’s face, but still. Weapons that could be used against her people. Of all her concessions, this was the most dangerous. Economic changes she could justify, but this was as good as treason.

It was easy, surprisingly easy, to wedge open this crack in her empire. If Cantic had been a traitor to the realm, it could have been done long ago.

No. It was only the baking earth and lack of breeze that kept her sweating in her office on the compound.

She looked over the last of the notes for her first foray into arms dealing. Two separate shipments, in two separate storehouses. Just in case. When the time came, it would look like someone had broken into her personal stores, guided by an unfortunate leak on the merchant’s end or an especially