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Today, I imagined I was ripping heads off Nephilim.

“Are you an angel, Alessia?” Nanna asked after a little while.

“No. I’m human. I go to the Academy.”

“So am I!” She touched her head again. “But your guess is as good as mine about what I’m doing here.”

“Don’t you know?” Raphael had said not to mention who I was. He didn’t say anything about asking who she was.

“You know, I don’t have the faintest idea. I remember being lost. For so long. It was like I was in a wood calling out and there was nobody. Next thing I knew I woke up in this place.”

I accidentally ripped off a strawberry leaf. Throwing it aside, I pressed on. “What about before that?”

She turned her head to the side and tapped her temple. “You sound just like Malachi.” My heart seized. “You’d like him. Such a sweet boy. He tries to help but this old noggin is not functioning the way it used to.”

“Maybe he doesn’t know what he’s doing,” I bit out.

She laughed. “Do any of us really know what we’re doing?”

It was the feeling of loss that propelled me to reach out and touch her hand. I knew it wasn’t smart. Still I did it. Just like I had inside her cell. What I felt this time made my breath catch. Her aura was a knot of tangled blue. It was as though someone had dropped a ball of yarn around her.

I couldn’t help myself. “Do you remember anyone you used to know?”

The change was immediate. She stopped weeding. Her face became withdrawn. I wanted to take the question back. But it was too late. She started weeping into her dirt-stained gloves.

I wrapped my arms around her. “I’m sorry,” I said, my voice thick with tears. They slid down my face. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

She was still crying when Raphael came for me. Other Nephilim appeared. They wore blue robes. Nanna didn’t resist when they bent down to speak to her.

“I couldn’t help it,” I said to Raphael by way of explanation.

He said nothing.

“When did she wake?”

“Shortly after your encounter with Lucifer.”

“Why did nobody tell me?”

He paused. He better not be trying to hide more lies. “The Council were concerned about your mental health,” he said. “They thought perhaps finding out your grandmother didn’t remember you would put you in a bad place.”

“You mean they were scared of what I could do and wanted to find a way to control me before I lost it?”

“I don’t pretend to understand all their motives. Mortals are often baffling.”

“May I stay here?” I asked.

“I’m afraid that’s not possible,” he said.

“Why not?”

“She’s very weak at the moment, Alessia. I’m concerned that your presence will set her back.”

“She’s my grandmother!”

“I know it’s difficult –”

“You don’t know anything!” I wanted to march back to the garden, but the Nephilim had taken Nanna away towards the building. “All you do is sit around and wait for us to do your bidding.”

There was a rational part of my mind that was commanding me not to mouth off to the seraph. That part was buried under layers of anger.

“Malachi and the Nephilim are attempting to help her regain her memory,” he said.

“How? By keeping her locked up in this pretend city? Let me take her back to Melbourne. She needs normalcy.”

“You don’t know that. Her affliction isn’t of mortal origin.”

“She needs me.” There were some things that couldn’t be explained. This was one of them. “I want to be here with her.”

“Alessia.”

I turned away, knowing he was going to refuse. He caught my sleeve. It was impossible to be angry with him. That pissed me off too. It wasn’t fair. “There are others who need you more, right now.”

“I don’t care. I don’t want to be around liars.”

“They did what they had to do to protect you.”

I snorted. “They call it that but it’s just to protect themselves.”

“I won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to do,” he said. “But now is a fraught time for your friends. It is not in your nature to leave them.”

My lower lip quivered. “I’m not leaving her.”

He knelt down in front of me and took my hands. I felt like a three-year-old. “You can’t put your life on hold to torture yourself here,” he said. “You are meant for more than this.”

I pulled away. “Don’t I get a say in this?”

“I can’t force you to be part of the supernatural community. But Seraphina is the best place for your grandmother. Even you must see that.”

I tried to contradict him. I’d been harbouring thoughts of moving back to Melbourne with Nanna. Taking her to our old haunts. I’d even go to the beach if it would bring her memory back. But reality was a harsh bitch. I didn’t know what we’d do for money. Or how I’d look after her while I was out earning said money.

It did not make my mood any better when I finally sighed in defeat. Raphael took me back to the party. Sophie raced over but I held up my hand.

“I really can’t right now,” I said. “I just want to go home.”

My head dipped at that thought. Where was home now?

Basil startled when I walked through the portal alone. “Lex!” He was on the couch with Odette. Some of their other friends were in the kitchen.

“Hi,” I said. “I’m not feeling well.”

Odette smiled uncertainly at me. Basil followed me into the bedroom. “Stay with your friends,” I told him. “I’ll be okay.”

“What’s wrong?” He shut the bedroom door. The floodgates opened. I curled up into a ball on the bed and bawled. For a while, Basil just sat matting my hair. I didn’t say anything. I could barely breathe past my clogged nose.

When I finally broke the news to him, he went deadly quiet. Somebody knocked on the door. It was Odette with a cup of tea.

“We’re going to get out of your hair,” she said. I set the cup aside as Basil went

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