The Ties That Bind Us: (The Ties Duet Part One) Danda K. (dark academia books to read TXT) 📖

before she leaves with her mom. I’m mixing the batter as Sayeed greets me from the kitchen entrance. “Hello there, Cameron. How was your holiday?” He’s always polite and never tries to embrace me during greetings. I appreciate his consideration since I try to avoid contact with people.

I respond with a smile. “Hey, it was very nice, thanks for asking. And thanks for the gift, you didn’t have to do that.” I’m referring to the beautiful velvet shawl. He called it a dupatta, and it’s all black with white lace trimming and beautiful red flowers spread throughout. I’ll probably never wear it, but not because I dislike it. I just find it too pretty to use. It’s not my style, but the cultural significance behind it makes it sentimental to me.

I finish flipping the last pancake while Sam plays with Emersyn, and the guys talk sports while watching TV.  Since Sayeed and Sam are staying for breakfast, I opt for the turkey bacon instead of traditional.

I’m cleaning the crumbs off the table as Sayeed picks up Emersyn and squeezes her tight, giving her a kiss good-bye. A part of me can’t help but feel envious of how easy it is for him to bond with her. 

She’s Jaxon’s, and she’s perfect, just like him.

But something stops me. It’s a fear that lurks in the shadows wherever I go, reminding me that what was broken inside me as a kid is still sharp enough to cut through almost anything, especially another child.

Emersyn runs over to me, holding her sippy cup and waving it in front of me. I take it, fill it with some apple juice from the fridge, tighten the lid, and hand it back to her. She takes the cup from me and places it on the floor.

Emersyn reaches her arms out to me again, and I think she wants me to pick her up.

Where the hell is Jaxon?

I look around frantically, but there’s no sign of him. Maybe he stepped outside with Sayeed. I stare down at her, wide-eyed, unaware of what to do next. I can’t hold her, but I also don’t want her feeling like I’m rejecting her.

My heart races as she bounces on the balls of her feet, anxiously waiting for me to embrace her. Maybe I should just hug her. I can’t hurt her by hugging her. Right?

Emersyn has no idea the civil war going on in my head or my reasons behind being distant. She’s just a child who needs affection right now. Isn’t that all any of us need?

I know that’s all I needed at her age.

She’s getting upset, her lower lip in a slight pout, and I think my heart may shrink in on itself. Without realizing it, I squat down to her level, and Emersyn’s facial expression perks up immediately. I steady myself on my feet, staring at her.

It’s almost as if Emersyn knows she needs to be gentle with me. She slowly walks the last couple of steps towards me before wrapping her little arms around my waist and looking at me.

I’m tense at first, looking back at her. I smile tightly, still frozen, and hold my breath. I’m waiting for the moment her face turns pained from my touch, but she seems relieved instead.

Resting the side of her head on my chest, Emersyn reaches one of her hands out and grabs some of my long hair, rubbing it between her tiny fingers.

Just like her dad does.

I relax a bit, still uncomfortable, but slightly less tense. I involuntarily cringe as I wrap one of my arms around her, patting her back awkwardly, so she feels my embrace too. I try breathing steadily as her hands gently pull and twirl the strands of hair, but panic locks my chest uptight every time.

Feeling eyes on me, I look up to find Jaxon standing by the kitchen entrance, his eyes wide and mouth agape as he takes in what’s happening. I don’t know how long he’s been watching us, but it had to be long enough to see how much I struggled with her. Fantastic.

Once Emersyn senses Jaxon, I’m old news. She jumps away from me and runs into his arms, and the ability to breathe normally again immediately returns.

I assume Gelissa shows up to take Emersyn home while I’m in the shower because I hear muffled voices outside the bathroom, and then after a few minutes, silence. I step out of the shower and wrap a towel around my body, securing my hair in a second one. I open the door to find Jaxon there waiting for me, leaning his shoulder on the wall with his legs crossed, arms folded over his chest.

“Hey, Nyx.”

“Gelissa showed up?” He nods in response.

“She give you any trouble?”

He shrugs. “Nothing more than the usual bullshit.”

I walk past him and head to the bedroom to get dressed. Jaxon follows behind and stops at the bedroom door, hands grabbing the top of the door frame as I proceed to take out my clothes for the day.

My back is to him when he speaks. “That’s her thing, you know.”

I stop what I’m doing and turn towards him, confused. “What is?”

He gestures to my wet hair hidden under the towel. “Playing with people’s hair.”

He places his hands inside his pockets before continuing, “But I’ve only seen her do it with her mom and me.”

I pull the shirt over my head. “It was just a coincidence.” I don’t want to draw attention to the point I know he’s trying to make.

Jaxon shakes his head slowly. “I don’t think it is, baby.” He walks towards me and sits at the edge of the bed. “You’re great with her. You’d be surprised what kids can sense from adults. She trusts you.”

I give him a short smile and pull up my leggings until they cover my waist, adjusting my white slouchy tee over the tight pants.

Well, she shouldn’t.

I respond to him internally because I don’t want to make him feel bad. I know how bad Jaxon wants