Arms and the Man George Bernard Shaw (epub e ink reader .TXT) đ
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- Author: George Bernard Shaw
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do what I tell you. Put out the candles, so that they shanât see the light when I open the shutters. And keep away from the window, whatever you do. If they see me, theyâre sure to have a shot at me.
Raina
Clinging to him. Theyâre sure to see you: itâs bright moonlight. Iâll save youâ âoh, how can you be so indifferent? You want me to save you, donât you?
Man
I really donât want to be troublesome. She shakes him in her impatience. I am not indifferent, dear young lady, I assure you. But how is it to be done?
Raina
Come away from the windowâ âplease. She coaxes him back to the middle of the room. He submits humbly. She releases him, and addresses him patronizingly. Now listen. You must trust to our hospitality. You do not yet know in whose house you are. I am a Petkoff.
Man
Whatâs that?
Raina
Rather indignantly. I mean that I belong to the family of the Petkoffs, the richest and best known in our country.
Man
Oh, yes, of course. I beg your pardon. The Petkoffs, to be sure. How stupid of me!
Raina
You know you never heard of them until this minute. How can you stoop to pretend?
Man
Forgive me: Iâm too tired to think; and the change of subject was too much for me. Donât scold me.
Raina
I forgot. It might make you cry. He nods, quite seriously. She pouts and then resumes her patronizing tone. I must tell you that my father holds the highest command of any Bulgarian in our army. He is proudly a Major.
Man
Pretending to be deeply impressed. A Major! Bless me! Think of that!
Raina
You showed great ignorance in thinking that it was necessary to climb up to the balcony, because ours is the only private house that has two rows of windows. There is a flight of stairs inside to get up and down by.
Man
Stairs! How grand! You live in great luxury indeed, dear young lady.
Raina
Do you know what a library is?
Man
A library? A roomful of books.
Raina
Yes, we have one, the only one in Bulgaria.
Man
Actually a real library! I should like to see that.
Raina
Affectedly. I tell you these things to show you that you are not in the house of ignorant country folk who would kill you the moment they saw your Serbian uniform, but among civilized people. We go to Bucharest every year for the opera season; and I have spent a whole month in Vienna.
Man
I saw that, dear young lady. I saw at once that you knew the world.
Raina
Have you ever seen the opera of Ernani?
Man
Is that the one with the devil in it in red velvet, and a soldierâs chorus?
Raina
Contemptuously. No!
Man
Stifling a heavy sigh of weariness. Then I donât know it.
Raina
I thought you might have remembered the great scene where Ernani, flying from his foes just as you are tonight, takes refuge in the castle of his bitterest enemy, an old Castilian noble. The noble refuses to give him up. His guest is sacred to him.
Man
Quickly waking up a little. Have your people got that notion?
Raina
With dignity. My mother and I can understand that notion, as you call it. And if instead of threatening me with your pistol as you did, you had simply thrown yourself as a fugitive on our hospitality, you would have been as safe as in your fatherâs house.
Man
Quite sure?
Raina
Turning her back on him in disgust. Oh, it is useless to try and make you understand.
Man
Donât be angry: you see how awkward it would be for me if there was any mistake. My father is a very hospitable man: he keeps six hotels; but I couldnât trust him as far as that. What about your father?
Raina
He is away at Slivnitza fighting for his country. I answer for your safety. There is my hand in pledge of it. Will that reassure you? She offers him her hand.
Man
Looking dubiously at his own hand. Better not touch my hand, dear young lady. I must have a wash first.
Raina
Touched. That is very nice of you. I see that you are a gentleman.
Man
Puzzled. Eh?
Raina
You must not think I am surprised. Bulgarians of really good standingâ âpeople in our positionâ âwash their hands nearly every day. But I appreciate your delicacy. You may take my hand. She offers it again.
Man
Kissing it with his hands behind his back. Thanks, gracious young lady: I feel safe at last. And now would you mind breaking the news to your mother? I had better not stay here secretly longer than is necessary.
Raina
If you will be so good as to keep perfectly still whilst I am away.
Man
Certainly. He sits down on the ottoman.
Raina goes to the bed and wraps herself in the fur cloak. His eyes close. She goes to the door, but on turning for a last look at him, sees that he is dropping off to sleep.
Raina
At the door. You are not going asleep, are you? He murmurs inarticulately: she runs to him and shakes him. Do you hear? Wake up: you are falling asleep.
Man
Eh? Falling asleeâ â? Oh, no, not the least in the world: I was only thinking. Itâs all right: Iâm wide awake.
Raina
Severely. Will you please stand up while I am away. He rises reluctantly. All the time, mind.
Man
Standing unsteadily. Certainlyâ âcertainly: you may depend on me.
Raina looks doubtfully at him. He smiles foolishly. She goes reluctantly, turning again at the door, and almost catching him in the act of yawning. She goes out.
Man
Drowsily. Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, sleeâ âThe words trail off into a murmur. He wakes again with a shock on the point of falling. Where am I? Thatâs what I want to know: where am
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