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wandering into the deep unknown.” She chuckles. “It’s probably nothing good, so let’s bring you back to the present. And by present, I’m talking about the night before we have to leave in the morning.” She chuckles and I smile at her.

“Yeah, I know…”

“It’s going to get late before we know it. You should get your rest.”

I nod. “Yeah, I guess I am getting kind of tired.”

Okay, not really. Especially not now after those sorrowful thoughts entered my brain. I need to push them away. Sleeping probably will do me some good.

She places her hands on her hips. “You know where I’ll be… right down the hall,” she says pointing in the direction of her old room. “If you need anything at all, just call, no matter the time.”

I nod. “Okay.”

“Good night, Lexi.” She turns around and right before exiting the guest room she says, “Hey, Lex?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m happy we’re going to be spending this vacation together. Even if I happen to fall into some handsome stranger’s lap and he whisks me off to his hotel suite and you don’t see me for the whole time we’re there because I’ll be too busy rolling around with him in bed…”

We both chuckle at her words.

“That would be great, and I’d be happy for you, and not mad that you left me alone for the week.”

She smiles. “And I’d feel the same for you.” Tapping the doorframe three times, she takes a breath and then says, “Okay, off to bed for real now. Good night, girl.”

“Night, night, Erin.”

Once she’s gone, I close the door behind her and then walk back over to the bed. Looking around, memories from the past fill my mind once more. I hadn’t spent too many nights in this room because when we were growing up, during sleepovers, I’d always stay in Erin’s bedroom. Since Erin now has her own place, the only other time I’ve been here was when I came out a few years back for Christmas. We had spent the week here with her parents and sister. It was so nice to see how a real family spends the holidays.

Once my parents started fighting, it was never easy. My holidays always got split up. Sometimes, my folks would split the week, other times, I’d spend the whole week with my mom or with my dad. Even though my parents got divorced, they were never hostile toward one another like so many other couples who divorced. For that, I have always been thankful. I really wished they could have worked things out, but I always knew my parents were better off as friends than anything more.

Still, the divorce was hard on me. Having to move across the country with my mom right before the start of my senior year was not easy for me at all. That was when my life took a turn for the worst.

I was thankful that Erin and I remained close. Losing her would have destroyed me.

But, losing touch with the one person who I had given my heart to really killed me.

Angry thoughts begin filling my head, and I know I need to think of something else. Shaking my head, I quickly undress and put on the T-shirt and shorts I had selected for the night. Once I’m changed, I hop into bed and reach over to the nightlight on the bedside table and turn it off.

I stare up at the ceiling and right as I close my eyes to welcome sleep, all I see is his face.

Chapter Four

Last night was brutal. I tossed and tossed in bed for hours. I don’t know if it was because I wasn’t lying in my bed—that happens to me a lot when I’ll spend the night somewhere else—or if it was the other reason… the thoughts from the past swimming around in my brain.

I was unable to shut them up. I tried. I really did, but still. I didn’t manage to get much sleep, and by the time I did, my alarm went off this morning, and my head was pounding.

The day was a blur, rushing to get ready then to speed to the airport with the family, and finally checking in at the resort, which I must admit is absolutely gorgeous. The room I’m sharing with Erin is simply breathtaking. It gives its name the meaning behind it because it really does look like paradise.

The furniture, bedsheets, and curtains are all white with pillows and towels and a colorful array of parrots, looking like a rainforest.

And let’s not forget the view of the Pacific Ocean from our fourth-floor balcony…

Starling Paradise is just that: Paradise.

But that all leads me to where we are now: the rehearsal dinner with the bride and groom-to-be surrounded by the whole wedding party and their immediate families.

I’m sitting here with my sunglasses on because the lights cause my head to hurt. I just hope I’m not coming off as an asshole. I mean, I talked to Erin about it and she was cool. She understands my pain… literally. I just hope everyone else thinks so.

Looking around, I recognize so many faces from when I grew up here in California. As a matter of fact, I think that’s Natalie and Liam Dempsey. Taking in all of this is like a damn time machine, and I’ve been taken back to the past.

“May I please have everyone’s attention?” Kennedy’s voice rings from way down at the head of the table.

I carefully turn my head in her direction so as not to injure myself further. Any sudden movements would be painful in my condition, which I have to admit, remind me of being slightly hungover… or so.

Aww, look at Kennedy, all grown up and glowing. She seriously looks like a princess out of a fairytale who just got her happily ever after. Except hers is coming tomorrow when they say, “I do.” But honestly, she’s shining like a diamond. The way she’s smiling as she’s making her announcement, the way her fiancé is looking

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