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kids, but that doesnā€™t mean anything in the realm of empirical research.ā€

ā€œSpeak English, you fuck,ā€ I said.

ā€œHe said your experiences donā€™t count -- .ā€

ā€œI know what he fuckinā€™ means,ā€ I snapped.  ā€œI ainā€™t a retard.  But heā€™s usinā€™ fancy words to hide the fact that heā€™s full of shit.  All of itā€™s full of shit.  ā€˜Empiricalā€™ research. Thatā€™s some computer wuss goinā€™ out anā€™ askinā€™ questions of all these guys anā€™ decidinā€™ he knows what the fuck heā€™s talkinā€™ about, even when another wussā€™d ask the same questions of a bunch of different guys anā€™ come up with a different answer.  You wanna know what my ā€˜researchā€™ told me?  When I fuck a guy -- donā€™t matter if heā€™s queer or straight or old or young, donā€™t matter if I grab him at night or in the day, donā€™t matter if he knows me or never seen me before, donā€™t matter if he trusts me or tries to keep away from me -- when I get my dick up his ass, I can make him hard, anā€™ I can get him off.  Anā€™ I do it just to fuck him up.ā€

ā€œPun intended?ā€ Lenny snickered.

Well...no, but I had to give him props for noticinā€™ it.  Anā€™ a chuckle.  Guess I can be funny even when I donā€™t mean to be.  But olā€™ Wayne, he wasnā€™t done, yet.

ā€œOh, please,ā€ he said. ā€œItā€™s impossible.  Some men would be too afraid to experience even an erection, let alone an ejaculation.ā€

ā€œAnā€™ just who told you that?ā€ I asked. ā€œNewsweek?ā€

Wayne gave me this look back -- swear tā€™ God, if weā€™d been in prison, Iā€™d of punched him.  It was sort of an ā€œI know what the fuck youā€™re up toā€ look that gets guys knifed.  It must of popped out without him meaninā€™ it to, ā€˜cause a second later it was gone anā€™ this ā€œWhatever you sayā€ kind of manner took over with him.  But it set off this bell in my head, not loud but there.  Anā€™ all of a sudden Iā€™m wonderinā€™ if these guys think they can get me drunked up anā€™ back to their place anā€™ used like some piece of shit whore theyā€™d conned into cominā€™ home with ā€˜em.  Maybe theyā€™d even grabbed a guy off Santa Monica anā€™ used him.  Maybe thatā€™s what all this bullshit chit-chat was really about -- checkinā€™ to see just what they might be able to get away with, or not.  I mean, I know itā€™s happened.

I met this one guy at Mid-State, he did it to a few fags over in Houston.  Grabbed ā€˜em off the street in the queer district, tied ā€˜em down in the back of his van anā€™ fucked ā€˜em, then dumped ā€˜em out a few blocks away.  They never got a good look at him; all they usually had was the color of the van.  Anā€™ even when one or two of ā€˜em told the cops, they never really came lookinā€™ for him.  Typical.  If you ainā€™t part of middle America or rich out the ass, cops donā€™t give a shit about what kind of shit happens to you.  It means too much trouble for ā€˜em anā€™ they got troubles enough to deal with.  Just ask a cop; heā€™ll whine for hours ā€˜bout how much crap heā€™s gotta put up with, like nobodyā€™s got it worse than him.  Selfish fuckinā€™ babies.

Anyhow, the guy didnā€™t get caught till he pulled it on some fag while he was in San Francisco.  He was seen kickinā€™ this beat-up half-naked guy out the back door of his van anā€™ was chased down by a bunch of pissed off queens.  In drag!  Even then, he figured the only reason he got put away was ā€˜cause the guy he fuckedā€™s dad was one of those ā€œIā€™m proud of my gay sonā€ types anā€™ was a judge.  No cop or D.A.ā€™s gonna piss off the man who might handle their next case.  So he got ā€œtwo to fiveā€ anā€™ has to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life.

ā€œLike that means shit,ā€ he told me.  ā€œIf thisā€™d been Texas, Iā€™d have got off with probation, at worst.  Anā€™ you think when I go back theyā€™re gonna give a shit what I do to a bunch of queers?  Shit, no.  Not with Republicans runninā€™ the fuckinā€™ state.ā€

I hear he got out six months ago.  Wonder if heā€™s back in Houston?

But knowinā€™ that guy -- anā€™ keepinā€™ my distance from him; not so much ā€˜cause I was afraid but more ā€˜cause I just didnā€™t want the trouble his kind of shit brings -- it got me to thinkinā€™, ā€œMaybe they really think theyā€™re gonna pull this crap with me.  Maybe thatā€™s really what this is all leadinā€™ up to.ā€  If not that, somethinā€™ like it.  Itā€™d be funny to see whatā€™d happen if these two middle-aged faggots tried that shit.  Anā€™ maybe a little fun.  See whoā€™s really in control here.  See what happens when they find out Iā€™m on to their crap.  Okay, fuckers, I figure thatā€™s a game I can play.  Shit, I know it is.

Thatā€™s when I smiled anā€™ looked at Lenny anā€™ said, ā€œFuck, olā€™ Wayne ainā€™t much fun, is he?ā€

ā€œItā€™s been a rough year for him,ā€ said Lenny.  ā€œHeā€™ll loosen up with a couple more screwdrivers.ā€  Then he gave me a look anā€™ added, ā€œOf course, we have the makings for all kinds of drinks, at home.  It certainly wouldnā€™t take up so much of our ready cash.ā€

I got the hint.  ā€œWeā€™ll buy you drinks as long as you want, but if you want some money from us, there wonā€™t be as much left.ā€  So I smiled anā€™ gave off a good long stretch that showed off my pecs anā€™ shoulders anā€™ said, ā€œI donā€™t like silly drinks.  All it takes is a decent beer in the fridge to make me happy.ā€

ā€œYou like

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