Beatrice: An Alarming Tale of British Murder and Woe Tedd Hawks (adult books to read .txt) 📖

Generally, we are very good citizens of the crown andall keep our heads, if you’ll excuse the pun.

            Lookingvery forward to your arrival,

            AlluviaMayweather

            Brontë’seyes looked into Crockett’s full of pure joy.

            “PoorMr. Babcock,” she said smiling.

            “Itreally is a tragedy,” Crockett said taking her hand.

            “Isuppose they’ll need help getting to the bottom of it, then,” Brontë took thenote and pored over it once more. She then turned to Crockett and askedpleasantly, “What do we know about the Mayweathers?”

            BeforeCrockett could answer, however, he opened the black box provided him by theDanube Mob. Inside the case was a small, silver ring shaped perfectly to Brontë’sfinger. With little thought, he slid it onto her hand.

            Shelooked at it warmly but briefly.

“I’d be deblighted, ofcourse.”

Crockett’sheart leapt in his chest. Brontë reached out and placed her hand on his cheek.

“Wecan worry about the details later,” she said.

Herhand lingered a time on his face. The young lovers stared deeply into each

other’s eyes.

            Thecarriage hit a rut, which returned them to their senses. Brontë shook her headas if waking from a dream.

“Where were we?” sheasked.

Crockett immediatelylaunched into a list of facts he knew about the Mayweathers, the small odditiesPetrarch pointed out during their initial review of their will and familybackground.

            Therest of the afternoon the carriage rolled forward and took them to MayweatherManor, a rather pleasant, Tudor-inspired home on the edges of EastFletchfordtownhampsonvilleshire. The events surrounding their time there were darker,more dangerous, with slightly less animal involvement (aside from a small cameofrom a cow named Blundergäst).

But—not to get carriedaway—that story is a tale for another time.

The most importantpiece of information to be shared at the end of this novel is regarding theyoung couple. And, for the sake of completion of this particular narrative, thereader can be certain that, in terms of perpetuity, Brontë and Crockett livedvery happily ever after.

An Afterword and Apology

Dear Reader,

            Theeditor hopes that you enjoyed the novel or, at the very least, hated itmarginally less than you do federal taxes.

While mostauthors/editors would append a thank you note of sorts to the end of a book,those that helped get this book to publication stated that they would preferanonymity (aside, of course, from @badgrrlkinzay47 who says “Sup, bitchez!” andagain requests you follow her on Instagram). It’s the editor’s hope that therequest for anonymity is due to humility rather than embarrassment, but we maynever know.

It is necessary toissue an apology at this point in time. The story alluded to at the end of thisnovel regarding the Mayweathers and their cow, Blundergäst, has been lost totime. Earhart kept extensive notes on other stories about Crockett and Brontë,however the tale of the Mayweather murder is gone. The next novel will pick upat the conclusion of that mystery. The Caddywampus will be thoroughlyedited and reviewed and be available for purchase in 2022.

Along with thatapology, the editor issues a plea—he does hope that you will help him sketch inthe story of this missing adventure. The notes at the conclusion of this textare largely all the information we have about what happened. Some would sayit's a call for fan fiction, but I think it's more fan forensics, piecingtogether the lost mystery from what we have left from Earhart.

Story submissions canbe posted on www.beatriceunbound.com. Having read this book, you know the baris low, so the editor hopes you'll take your creativity and explore everypossible option for what could have happened in those dark days in EastFletchfordtownhampsonvilleshire.

Thank you in advancefor your time and imagination. Earhart, Brontë, Crockett, and I will see you in2022 for their troubling encounter with the German demon bear, the Caddywampus.

Sincerely,

Tedd Hawks

[1]The editor has looked for references to this rhyme in contemporary texts buthas only found reference to an old German song “Mallard Man Who Eats Hats.” Heconjects that Earhart was unfamiliar with German and did not do sufficientresearch.

[2]The editor does wonder why no one built a fence or, at the very least,prioritized swimming proficiency.

[3]Please note, in an editorial decision, it has been decided to rely on Christiannames throughout the text. Although in the period there would have been moredecorum around such things, for modern audiences, having a character calledWilliam Little and referring to him as Mr. Little, Will, Bill, Billy, Billiam,Willbob, etc. would be taxing. In this novel, the number of Miss Hawsfeffersalone is troublesome.

[4]The editor does apologize for the grueling, awkward quotations throughout thetext from Corinthiana. They were going to be edited, however a phonographrecording of Mrs. Hawsfeffer did reveal she actually spoke as if she were anowl with a mouth full of large plums. If one is in private, it is beneficial tospeak the words out loud. Phonetically, it is more comprehensible than in itswritten form.

[5]@badgrrlkinzay47 took after her ancestor in regard to both capital investmentand entrepreneurship. She owns nearly one-quarter of a strip mall in Idaho, thestores of which include a nail salon, a tanning studio, a nail salon with atanning studio, a tanning studio that does nails, as well as a jointdermatology/podiatry office.

[6] Inhis research, the editor found that West Hampminstershireshire did have astring of carnival kidnappings in the spring and fall of 1898. The chiefconstable at the time caught the kidnapping ring by sheer accident, his affairwith one of the carnies (the strongwoman) the reason for the discovery morethan detective work. From that time onward, the constabulary blamed carnivalfolk for most crimes in the province, leading to an exodus of the carnivalperformers and a local distrust and embarrassment of the area’s lawenforcement.

[7] Insome parts of England during this time, it was high praise to refer to a womanas “decorated as an aristocrat’s pistol grip.”

[8]Earhart inserted a rather grisly description of the feline fire, which has beenomitted in this draft.

[9]@badgrrlKinzay47, inspired by the manuscript, briefly developed a “side hustle”of selling intricate, portable stairs that were designed to make rats fall downthem as a form of pest control. The hosts of Shark Tank were unimpressed.

[10]In the editor’s research, the Danube Mob isn’t, as a millennial might say, “athing.” There was a literal Austrian Mob at work in New York during the