Lauren Takes Leave Gerstenblatt, Julie (classic literature list txt) 📖

eye contact with Lenny, but he’s not lookingup. I lose track of him on the other side of the ballroom as the lights dimonce again.

“I want to thank you all for coming tonight for thisvery special event. As you know, each year, the temple tries to findcreative ways to raise funds to support our community. This temple provides somany Jewish individuals and families with cultural and educational activities,from our wonderful preschool to our bar- and bat-mitzvah programs to our adult learningand travel opportunities. Why, this year alone, we visited Israel, Turkey, andBoca!” Cheers and whistles follow from table six. “Okay, Dave, that’s enough.We know how you like those Turkish baths!” More hoots from table six ensue.

“Enough,” the rabbi continues. “Let’s get to the momentyou have all been waiting for.” People begin to applaud, but the rabbi holds uphis hand to delay them. “First, I need to say thank you. Without these sevenbrave and talented volunteers from our very own Beth El congregation, thisnight would not have been possible. They have each been matched with anappropriate dance partner and teacher, with whom they have been practicing andpreparing for several months now, taking time away from their families in orderto learn and grow.

“Now, many of you may think you know what iscoming, because you enjoy watching the television version of this event and arefamiliar with the concept. But believe you me, you have never seen anythingquite like this. Ladies and gentlemen, from the glamour of Hollywood straightto the Beth El ballroom: Welcome to Dancing with the Stars of David!”

Thunderous applause, of course, follows his words. Thereis no holding back; Great-Aunt Elaine, getting a second wind, stands and startsstomping her rubber-tipped cane against the floor. People go as wild aspossible in God’s house, some even standing up or putting their fingers neartheir incisors to whistle.

“Jodi’s gonna rock!” echoes through the room just as thelights go completely dark and the first couple enter the room. Lee, realizinghe has spoken too loudly, grimaces. He whispers to Doug and me, “She’s onsecond.”

“I know,” I whisper back. “I’m a little bit nervous forher.”

“Relax, she’s a pro,” Jodi’s mom says. “I put her in dancecompetitions and pageants from the time she was three, like JonBenét.”

“That’s scary,” Doug says.

“No, actually, it explains quite a lot,” I say. Like one’spersonal quest for fame and fortune. Imagine being told your whole life thatyou were a star? And then you didn’t become one. Unless you pretend thatchairing the book fair for the PTA is akin to being Miss Universe.

Not that becoming an educational guru like Georgie wasquite as big as that for me, but still. I can identify with the feeling ofunfulfilled ambitions.

I find a roving waitress and request a double shot ofBaron Herzog chardonnay.

Having downed that like it was Gatorade after a four-milerun, I motion to Doug. “I’m going to the bathroom quickly, before the firstso-called contestant.”

Doug looks up from the photos in his hand and manages apained smile in my direction. Lee must be showing off pictures of his newPorsche again.

In the hallway, I run into Kat, who is deeply focused onher preferred mode of communication, typing furiously on her phone. “How’sShay?” I ask in annoyance, sure that she’s flirting with disaster.

She stops what she’s doing, slowly crosses her arms acrossher chest, and gives me a Look. “And how’s Doug?”

“What?” I pause, deciding how to answer. “I told him.”

“Everything?” she asks, her green eyes probing. “AboutLenny?”

I squirm. “Not quite.”

“Hmm,” she says. “That doesn’t please me. And it doesn’tplease me that Lenny’s here tonight. I had to leave the ballroom because yourlittle love triangle, combined with Leslie’s presence, made me feel allgoosebumpy. See?” She shows me the hair on her arms, which is indeed stickingup at attention. “Like Tim said, Mercury is in retrograde, and it causesmishaps with travel and communications, and delays of all sorts. Plus, lots ofanger.”

I stifle a laugh. “Kat, really? Mercury is inretrograde? This explains our trip to Miami and Leslie’s erratic behavior,I suppose? Oh, I see. Forget Shay for the meanwhile. Is that what Varka toldyou, as you were busy texting her just now? Does Varka agree with Tim Cubix’sastrology?”

Kat looks up through her curls and I know I’m right.

“Kat! Lemme guess, for twenty-seven dollars a minute,Varka has an explanation for everything, like, that our trip got messed upbecause Jodi’s grandma died, and that we were delayed in the parade trafficbecause Mercury was moving backward. Ah, it all makes perfect sense now, ofcourse! I want to know, Kat, did I kiss Lenny because of the alignment of theplanets?”

Kat has found a loose thread in her sweater and is very busyunraveling it. I back off for a second and try to pinpoint what’s reallyupsetting me.

“Kitty-Kat,” I sigh, my tone softening, “I just hate tothink that you find comfort in some pretend astrological psychic instead of inme and Jodi, in the real world right here.”

She shrugs. “We all have our ways of dealing, Lauren.”

It’s true, of course. Kat finds solace in the reading ofthe stars, Jodi by coming up with ways to be rich and famous. And I chooserefuge from my real-world problems by creating an alternate-realityrelationship, one devoid of responsibility and filled only with pleasure.

“Varka and I are just saying, this won’t resolve itself.We think you need to spill it all to Doug.”

“Oh, we do, huh?” I say. Then Kat and I both turnour heads at the sound of a rustling to our left.

“Don’t worry, Kat,” Doug says, standing behind us in thehallway, partially hidden by a fig tree. “She just has.”

The bottom falls out of my stomach.

“I came to find you guys and tell you that Jodi’s onnext.” Doug walks back toward the ballroom and pushes his full weight againstthe doors. “Oh, and Lauren?” He stares at me for one quick moment, the look onhis face registering tremendous hurt, disappointment, and white-hot anger. I’venever seen anything like it before. “Fuck you.” Then he’s gone, absorbed intothe darkness of the temple ballroom.

“Shit!” Kat says.

I follow Doug, and Kat follows me, bursting through thedoors and disrupting the show.