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instinct is to go for the family jewels.”

“That is the correct instinct, but you have to make sure you can get a shot. If you panic, you lose the chance of hitting a really nasty blow.”

“Are you suggesting I test out a really nasty blow on you?”

“No, not at all. We can practice that move without you doing any damage.”

“You trust me to practice without doing any damage? Because not so long ago you didn’t trust me at all.”

It was said casually, but he had the feeling there was more to it. Much like the discussion about why he was protecting her and it being only because it was his job. There was something more she was looking for, and there was something more he should not in one million years give her.

“I let you fire my gun, Natalie. I trust you.”

He could feel her take a deep breath, because her back shifted against his chest. This was the danger. That they affected each other, not just physically, but in the things they talked about. In the faith and the trust that they afforded each other. This was dangerous. They were already in a dangerous situation, though, and they didn’t need to add any more danger to it.

“So if someone was holding me like this, I would just reach my leg back between their legs and kick, right?”

Thank God she was focusing on the task at hand. If they could both make each other do that, maybe they’d get through this. “Yes, that’s part of it. But you also want to see if you can inflict damage at the same time elsewhere. So you want to get an idea if your elbows are free. The way I’ve got you held right now, as long as you’re not wiggling and struggling, you can get in a good elbow to the gut. If you struggle, they’re going to tighten their grasp or they’re going to bring their other hand around and hold your arms still, as well.”

He demonstrated, which was of course also a mistake, because now both of his arms were around her, and though it was from behind, he was essentially hugging her. No matter how many times he told her what she could do to inflict damage, he was still holding her in a tight embrace.

All this sensation waged a war on his sanity that he hadn’t faced...maybe ever. It had always been so easy to remain in control. Except with Natalie.

“So,” he said, his voice sounding rusty and ill used in his own ears. “You want to try to lift up your leg and use your elbow at the same time. I want you to practice it, and I want you to put a little force behind it, but not too much. Especially down low.”

She chuckled at that, but it was also a little bit strangled. Yes, they were both affected by this. Yes, they were both stupid. And yes, they were teetering on the edge of even larger stupidity.

Somehow, none of that knowledge made him stop.

Natalie figured she was shaking apart. He had to feel that, and as embarrassing as it was, she couldn’t possibly stop. He was essentially holding her. This far too attractive man who seemed to have it all together when she felt as together as a lunatic.

He was holding her and talking to her about fighting, but the last thing she wanted to do was fight him. She wanted to turn in the circle of his arms. She wanted to press her mouth to his. The more she thought about how much she wanted that, the harder it was to ignore. The harder it was to stop herself from doing it.

But she had to. She had to stop herself. She couldn’t keep doing this either, though. She had to make a choice. Either go for it, or make sure, once and for all, her mind understood that there would be no going for it. There would be no nothing. That was the choice she knew she had to make.

“Practice moving your elbow and your leg at the same time,” Vaughn encouraged.

She laughed again, that strangled, silly-sounding laugh. How could she get her body to move the way she wanted it to when she could barely get her brain to think the way she wanted it to?

“You know, maybe we should eat something instead of all this. Or talk about—”

“Don’t be a coward.”

“I’m not a coward,” she said through gritted teeth. “I’m trying to make a smart choice.”

She felt his exhale against the back of her neck. She didn’t think a shudder went through him exactly, not the way it went through her, but there was a change in the way he held himself. She couldn’t tell if it was tenser or softer; she could only tell that it was different. That this was all incredibly different. She didn’t know what to do about it.

“Well, I don’t plan on doing this again, so you better get your practice in.”

She whirled to face him, and he either let her go, or he was surprised enough by her movement that he didn’t try to stop her. “This was your idea. Why won’t we do it again?” Something like panic clawed through her. That he wouldn’t help, that he wouldn’t give her the skills he said he was going to give her.

She was probably never going to be safe, but she at least wanted some illusion of it. The belief she could shoot a gun or fight under pressure.

“You really have to ask?” he ground out. Even though she’d whirled around, they were still close. Nearly touching, really. Something glittered in his gaze, and she didn’t recognize it or understand it.

“Um, yeah! Why on earth—”

Then his mouth was on hers. Just as she’d imagined far too often. All the swirling, nonsensical thoughts and feelings in her brain stopped. All the panic faded. There was nothing except his mouth on her mouth, and his hands tangled in

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