Under Threat B.J. Daniels (best free novels txt) 📖

victimhood, and you only kissed me because you can’t keep your brain intact when a victim is around?”

His mouth firmed, grim and angry. Good, because she was angry too. How dare he say that? She wasn’t so stupid she thought he was hot just because he’d saved her. That wasn’t what was between them at all, and she wouldn’t let him get away with that kind of distorted thinking.

“I just think we don’t know each other that well.”

Again she scoffed. “You know, I’d love an excuse for why this happened, for why I feel the way I do. But the bottom line is, we’re attracted to each other. More, whether we want to admit it or not, we like each other. So stop making excuses. Let’s deal with the reality of the situation. Isn’t that what you told me? That we can’t deal with what-ifs and maybes. We have to look at the facts.”

“I can’t tell you how little I like my own words being used against me,” he returned, and though his voice had a cutting edge, there was the smallest hint of a smile on his lips.

“Especially when they’re right?”

He smiled, one of those real, rare smiles that made her heart do acrobatics in her chest. He could stand to smile more. He could stand to laugh more.

You don’t know him. Maybe he smiles and laughs all the time when you’re not around.

But she really felt like she knew him, no matter how often she tried to talk herself out of that.

“Especially when they’re right. So...”

“So, you kissed me.” She squared her shoulders, determined to be an adult. Determined to take charge of her life in the few places she could. “We’re attracted to each other, and as much as it pains me to say it, you’re right. We don’t have the time or the luxury of pursuing anything. So maybe it’s best if we just pretend that it never happened.”

“Right. Pretend it never happened. I can do that.”

Except his gaze was on her mouth, and she didn’t think she could do that if he...looked at her with those heated blue eyes. “Maybe you can tell me all your ex-wife’s complaints about you so that I know what annoyances to look for when I’m overcome by attraction.”

He smiled wryly. “I think somehow you’ll manage, but it’s mostly your average ‘you care too much about your job and not enough about our marriage.’”

“Do you agree with her assessment?” Which wasn’t her business, at all, and she wanted to be appalled at herself for asking personal questions. But she wanted to know, and she’d had to gain a certain comfort in quizzing people in her pursuit of information about Gabby.

He shrugged, finally looking away from her mouth. “Sometimes. I take my job very seriously. There were times I had to miss things. There were times I was in danger and she was scared, and I get why that was hard on her.”

“I feel like there’s a ‘but’ coming.”

“No but. You can’t... You can’t have a marriage with someone who doesn’t understand your passion. I’m sure it is my failing that my passion wasn’t our marriage.”

“I guess that’s understandable.”

“I take it you’ve never been married.”

“No, not even close. The only relationship I’ve really had ended because he thought I spent too much time obsessing about Gabby.”

“So, great, we have more things in common. That’s really what we need right now.”

She had to laugh at his sarcasm. She had to laugh at the circumstances. At what the hell she thought she was doing.

But she understood what it was like to lose a relationship because you were wrapped up in something else. Something bigger than you. Something that was excessively important to you that you couldn’t let go of.

“Do you regret...not changing your dedication level to police work? I mean... Would you go back and do things differently?”

“I’ve thought about that a lot, actually. It’s been three years since she said she wanted to get divorced. The thing is, I didn’t... Maybe it shows how far gone I am, but I didn’t think that I was that inattentive all the time. Sometimes, certain cases got under my skin a little bit extra, but I stopped going undercover for her. I stopped... Why the hell are we talking about this?”

“I had the crazy idea that it might make me not like you.”

“Did it work?” he asked.

“No, I think it might’ve done the opposite.” She wanted to step closer again, but his demeanor kept her where she was. He had made the decision this could only be a negative distraction on a very important case. She had to respect that decision. He deserved that respect.

“I should probably get my sleep in.”

She smiled ruefully. “Yeah, you wouldn’t want a lack of sleep to affect your decision-making skills.”

He laughed at that, a little bitterly. She almost felt bad that she’d pushed him this far. “I’m sorry,” she offered to his retreating back.

He stopped and turned, eyebrows drawn together. “What are you sorry for?”

“I know you kissed me and all, but I kept pushing things, and I didn’t have to. It had just...been a long time since I’d wanted something solely for myself. You know?”

He swallowed, visibly, audibly. “Yeah, I know,” he said, a little too meaningfully, a little too much for her to not feel as though the stopping was the mistake, not doing it in the first place.

But he turned, in that rigid, policeman way of his, and walked down the hallway.

Chapter 11

Vaughn tried to sleep, he really did. He caught bits and pieces of rest, but every time he started to doze, his mind went to that kiss. The way it had rioted through him. The way his completely irrational and stupid body had taken over.

He’d had to kiss her. It had been like there was no choice. Like his life depended on having his mouth on hers. He knew that was stupid now, but in the moment it had seemed imperative.

In the moment,