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inflicts the worst bite, he said: ā€œOf wild beasts the sycophant, and of tame animals the flatterer.ā€

On one occasion he saw two Centaurs very badly painted; he said: ā€œWhich of the two is the worst?ā€62 He used to say that a speech, the object of which was solely to please, was a honeyed halter. He called the belly the Charybdis of life. Having heard once that Didymon the adulterer had been caught in the fact, he said: ā€œHe deserves to be hung by his name.ā€63 When the question was put to him, why gold is of a pale color, he said: ā€œBecause it has so many people plotting against it.ā€ When he saw a woman in a litter, he said: ā€œThe cage is not suited to the animal.ā€ And seeing a runaway slave sitting on a well, he said: ā€œMy boy, take care you do not fall in.ā€ Another time, he saw a little boy who was a stealer of clothes from the baths, and said: ā€œAre you going for unguents, (į¼Ļ€į¾æ į¼€Ī»ĪµĪ¹Ī¼Ī¼Ī¬Ļ„Ī¹ĪæĪ½), or for other garments (į¼Ļ€į¾æ į¼„Ī»Ī»į¾æ į¼±Ī¼Ī¬Ļ„Ī¹ĪæĪ½).ā€ Seeing some women hanging on olive trees, he said: ā€œI wish every tree bore similar fruit.ā€ At another time, he saw a clothes stealer, and addressed him thus:

ā€œWhat moves thee, say, when sleep has closā€™d the sight,
To roam the silent fields in dead of night?
Art thou some wretch by hopes of plunder led,
Through heaps of carnage to despoil the dead.ā€64

When he was asked whether he had any girl or boy to wait on him, he said: ā€œNo.ā€ And as his questioner asked further: ā€œIf then you die, who will bury you?ā€ He replied: ā€œWhoever wants my house.ā€ Seeing a handsome youth sleeping without any protection, he nudged him, and said: ā€œWake up:

ā€œMixā€™d with the vulgar shall thy fate be found,
Piercā€™d in the back, a vile dishonest wound.ā€65

And he addressed a man who was buying delicacies at a great expense:

ā€œNot long, my son, will you on earth remain,
If such your dealings.ā€66

When Plato was discoursing about his ā€œideas,ā€ and using the nouns ā€œtablenessā€ and ā€œcupness;ā€ā ā€”ā€œI, O Plato!ā€ interrupted Diogenes, ā€œsee a table and a cup, but I see no tableness or cupness.ā€ Plato made answer: ā€œThat is natural enough, for you have eyes by which a cup and a table are contemplated; but you have not intellect by which tableness and cupness are seen.ā€

On one occasion, he was asked by a certain person: ā€œWhat sort of a man, O Diogenes, do you think Socrates?ā€ and he said: ā€œA madman.ā€ Another time the question was put to him, when a man ought to marry? and his reply was: ā€œYoung men ought not to marry yet, and old men never ought to marry at all.ā€ When asked what he would take to let a man give him a blow on the head? he replied: ā€œA helmet.ā€ Seeing a youth smartening himself up very carefully, he said to him: ā€œIf you are doing that for men, you are miserable; and if for women, you are profligate.ā€ Once he saw a youth blushing, and addressed him: ā€œCourage, my boy, that is the complexion of virtue.ā€ Having once listened to two lawyers, he condemned them both; saying: ā€œThat the one had stolen the thing in question, and that the other had not lost it.ā€ When asked what wine he liked to drink, he said: ā€œThat which belongs to another.ā€ A man said to him one day: ā€œMany people laugh at you.ā€ā ā€”ā€œBut I,ā€ he replied, ā€œam not laughed down.ā€ When a man said to him, that it was a bad thing to live: ā€œNot to live,ā€ said he, ā€œbut to live badly.ā€ When some people were advising him to make search for a slave who had run away, he said: ā€œIt would be a very absurd thing for Manes to be able to live without Diogenes, but for Diogenes not to be able to live without Manes.ā€ When he was dining on olives, a cheesecake was brought in, on which he threw the olive away, saying:

Keep well aloof, O stranger, from all tyrants.67

And presently he added:

He drove the olive off (Ī¼Ī±ĻƒĻ„ĪÆĪ¾ĪµĪ½ Ī“į¾æ į¼Ī»Ī¬Ī±Ī½).68

When he was asked what sort of a dog he was, he replied: ā€œWhen hungry, I am a dog of Melita; when satisfied, a Molossian; a sort which most of those who praise do not like to take out hunting with them, because of the labor of keeping up with them; and in like manner, you cannot associate with me, from fear of the pain I give you.ā€ The question was put to him, whether wise men ate cheesecakes, and he replied: ā€œThey eat everything, just as the rest of mankind.ā€ When asked why people give to beggars and not to philosophers, he said: ā€œBecause they think it possible that they themselves may become lame and blind, but they do not expect ever to turn out philosophers.ā€ He once begged of a covetous man, and as he was slow to give, he said: ā€œMan, I am asking you for something to maintain me (Īµį¼°Ļ‚ Ļ„ĻĪæĻ†į½“Ī½) and not to bury me (Īµį¼°Ļ‚ Ļ„Ī±Ļ†į½“Ī½).ā€ When someone reproached him for having tampered with the coinage, he said: ā€œThere was a time when I was such a person as you are now; but there never was when you were such as I am now, and never will be.ā€ And to another person who reproached him on the same grounds, he said: ā€œThere were times when I did what I did not wish to, but that is not the case now.ā€ When he went to Myndus, he saw some very large gates, but the city was a small one, and so he said: ā€œOh men of Myndus, shut your gates, lest your city should steal out.ā€ On one occasion, he saw a man

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