The Lives and Opinions of Eminent Philosophers Diogenes LaĆ«rtius (first ebook reader .TXT) š
- Author: Diogenes Laƫrtius
Book online Ā«The Lives and Opinions of Eminent Philosophers Diogenes LaĆ«rtius (first ebook reader .TXT) šĀ». Author Diogenes LaĆ«rtius
A purple death, and mighty fate overtook him.69
When Craterus entreated him to come and visit him, he said: āI would rather lick up salt at Athens than enjoy a luxurious table with Craterus.ā On one occasion, he met Anaximenes the orator, who was a fat man, and thus accosted him: āPray give us, who are poor, some of your belly; for by so doing you will be relieved yourself, and you will assist us.ā And once, when he was discussing some point, Diogenes held up a piece of salt fish, and drew off the attention of his hearers; and as Anaximenes was indignant at this, he said: āSee, one pennyworth of salt fish has put an end to the lecture of Anaximenes.ā Being once reproached for eating in the marketplace, he made answer: āI did, for it was in the marketplace that I was hungry.ā Some authors also attribute the following repartee to him. Plato saw him washing vegetables, and so, coming up to him, he quietly accosted him thus: āIf you had paid court to Dionysius, you would not have been washing vegetables.āā āāAnd,ā he replied, with equal quietness, āif you had washed vegetables, you would never have paid court to Dionysius.ā When a man said to him once: āMost people laugh at you;āā āāAnd very likely,ā he replied, āthe asses laugh at them; but they do not regard the asses, neither do I regard them.ā Once he saw a youth studying philosophy, and said to him: āWell done; inasmuch as you are leading those who admire your person to contemplate the beauty of your mind.ā
A certain person was admiring the offerings in the temple at Samothrace,70 and he said to him: āThey would have been much more numerous if those who were lost had offered them instead of those who were saved;ā but some attribute this speech to Diagoras the Melian. Once he saw a handsome youth going to a banquet, and said to him: āYou will come back worse (ĻĪµĪÆĻĻĪ½);ā and when he the next day after the banquet said to him, āI have left the banquet, and was no worse for it;ā he replied, āYou were not Chiron, but Eurytion.ā71 He was begging once of a very ill-tempered man, and as he said to him: āIf you can persuade me, I will give you something;ā he replied: āIf I could persuade you, I would beg you to hang yourself.ā He was on one occasion returning from Lacedaemon to Athens, and when someone asked him: āWhither are you going, and whence do you come?ā he said: āI am going from the menās apartments to the womenās.ā Another time he was returning from the Olympic games, and when someone asked him whether there had been a great multitude there, he said: āA great multitude, but very few men.ā He used to say that debauched men resembled figs growing on a precipice, the fruit of which is not tasted by men, but devoured by crows and vultures. When Phryne had dedicated a golden statue of Venus at Delphi, he wrote upon it: āFrom the profligacy of the Greeks.ā
Once Alexander the Great came and stood by him, and said: āI am Alexander, the great king.āā āāAnd I,ā said he, āam Diogenes the dog.ā And when he was asked to what actions of his it was owing that he was called a dog, he said: āBecause I fawn upon those who give me anything, and bark at those who give me nothing, and bite the rogues.ā On one occasion he was gathering some of the fruit of a fig-tree, and when the man who was guarding it told him a man hung himself on this tree the other day: āI, then,ā said he, āwill now purify it.ā Once he saw a man who had been a conqueror at the Olympic games looking very often at a courtesan: āLook,ā said he, āat that warlike ram, who is taken prisoner by the first girl he meets.ā One of his sayings was, that good-looking courtesans were like poisoned mead.
On one occasion he was eating his dinner in the marketplace, and the bystanders kept constantly calling out āDog;ā but he said: āIt is you who are the dogs, who stand around me while I am at dinner.ā When two effeminate fellows were getting out of his way, he said: āDo not be afraid, a dog does not eat beetroot.ā Being once asked about a debauched boy, as to what country he came from, he said: āHe is a Tegean.ā72 Seeing an unskillful wrestler professing to heal a man he said: āWhat are you about, are you in hopes now to overthrow those who formerly conquered you?ā On one occasion he saw the son of a courtesan throwing a stone at a crowd, and said to him: āTake care, lest you hit your father.ā When a boy showed him a sword that he had received from one to whom he had done some discreditable service, he told him: āThe sword is a good sword, but the handle is infamous.ā And when some people were praising a man who had given him something, he said to them: āAnd do not you praise me who was worthy to receive it?ā He was asked by someone to give him back his cloak, but he replied: āIf you gave it me, it is mine; and if you only lent it me, I am using it.ā A supposititious son (į½ĻĪæĪ²ĪæĪ»Ī¹Ī¼Ī±įæĪæĻ) of somebody once said to him that he had gold in his cloak: āNo doubt,ā said he, āthat is the very reason why I sleep with it under my head (į½ĻĪæĪ²ĪµĪ²Ī»Ī·Ī¼ĪĪ½ĪæĻ).ā When he was asked what advantage he had derived from philosophy, he replied: āIf no other, at least this, that I am prepared for every kind of fortune.ā The question was put to him what
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