Hooking Up : Sex, Dating, and Relationships on Campus Kathleen Bogle (general ebook reader .txt) 📖

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As intimate relationships moved away from parental supervision, increasing sexual intimacy entered the equation. During the dating era, particularly when couples went steady, relationships lasted long enough for the couple to become increasingly close. With this closeness came increased opportunity for sex. However, it was not only steadies who engaged in sexual behavior; there had been sexual interaction among those in the rating and dating era also.38 Although no nationally representative samples that documented the sexual behavior of American youth were available, smaller-scale studies and an onslaught of publications (both scholarly and mainstream media) dealt with sexual behavior. These sources indicate that “necking” and “petting” were the norm among youth.39 Precise definitions of these practices do not exist, but necking was generally believed to include “stimulation” from the

“neck up” with the “main areas of sexual stimulation remaining covered by clothing.”40 With necking, the neck, lips, and ears are “utilized extensively as sexual objects.”41 Petting involved greater sexual intimacy and included “literally every caress known to married couples but does not include complete sexual intercourse.”42

Both necking and petting likely occurred even before the dating system took hold in the 1920s.43 Evidence of this can be found in the love letters of courtship partners in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries.44 However, the importance of these sexual acts lies not so much in the acts themselves, but in their increasing visibility and acceptance among an emerging youth culture.45 As the twentieth century progressed, necking and petting on dates, especially with steadies, became a hallmark of the youth dating experience. Thus, the dating script, particularly during the 1940s and 1950s, dictated a greater degree of sexual intimacy than the calling era had allowed.

Regarding premarital sexual intercourse, evidence suggests this happened during the dating era, but it was not the norm.46 In a particularly ingenious quantitative study, conducted in 1984, sociologist Martin Whyte surveyed women in the greater Detroit metropolitan area about their dating, mating, and marriage experiences. The study focused on women between the ages of 18 and 75 who indicated that they were currently or had previously been married. The women were placed into three major categories: prewar brides, marrying in the years 1925–1944; baby boom brides, marrying in 1945–1964; and those who first wed during the years 1965–1984. These data give us the clearest sense of how much change has taken place since dating began. Despite 20

F RO M DAT I N G TO H O O K I N G U P

some continuity across time periods, Whyte documented what he refers to as an “intimacy revolution” among those in the most recent cohort.47

“Among the prewar brides, only 24% had already lost their virginity (prior to marriage), according to our rough estimate. For the baby boom era brides this figure increases to 51% and in the post-1965 cases to 72%.”48 Whyte favors the term “intimacy revolution” to “sexual revolution” because, while the majority of women in the latest cohort had premarital sex, this act was often taking place in the context of a steady relationship and in many cases was happening with one’s eventual spouse. Although there was a significant increase in women having sexual intercourse before meeting their eventual husband, or “pre-premarital sex,” in all three cohorts the majority of women had premarital sex with their eventual husband only.49 Only 3 percent of prewar brides and 17 percent of baby boom brides had sex with someone other than their eventual husband. This percentage rose to 33 percent among brides in the most recent (post-1965) generation.50

As these data show, dating and moderate levels of sexual intimacy, especially necking and petting, were an increasingly common part of the youth experience from the early part of the century through at least the mid-1960s. As the twentieth century progressed, greater sexual intimacy emerged, but for those in the mainstream this sexual intimacy was generally restricted to intimate relationships where a likely outcome was marriage. However, the custom of dating in order to get to know someone of the opposite sex en route to potential sexual intimacy has not remained the norm among American youth. In the latter part of the twentieth century, a shift was underway, particularly on college campuses, which allowed a new script to emerge.

THE EMERGENCE OF THE HOOKING-UP ERA

Despite the dominance of dating from the 1920s, eventually changes in society led to yet another shift in the script. In the mid-1960s, changes in the way young people were getting together had begun to occur.51

This shift away from traditional dating was particularly apparent on college campuses.52 College students began socializing in groups, rather than pair dating, and “partying” with large numbers of friends and classmates. Parties represented more than just a social outing; they became the setting for potential sexual encounters. At parties, students F RO M DAT I N G TO H O O K I N G U P

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generally consumed alcohol while trying to meet new people with whom they could potentially become sexually intimate or to initiate encounters with classmates they already knew.53 In addition to the sexual possibilities, parties were a place to find a potential romantic partner and begin a new relationship. Is it possible that the mid-1960s marks the end of formal dating and the emergence of hooking up on the college campus? I believe that a number of sociohistorical trends, both cultural and demographic, that coincide with this time period suggest that this is the case.

The 1960s are widely known as a time of great change throughout our society, particularly among youth. The advent and increased availability of the birth control pill coupled with a liberalization of attitudes toward sexuality led to changes in what was socially acceptable to do sexually. In fact, intercourse became thought of as a sign of intimacy and physical pleasure rather than merely a means of reproduction.54

With these reproductive and attitudinal changes came changes in sexual behavior. Precisely how dramatic the change in sexual behavior was