Summer of Love Marie Ferrarella (easy books to read in english TXT) 📖

down at the floor for a moment and his expression was bleak when he looked up. ‘Of you ending up hating me.’

Emma didn’t know what to say. She stared at him in silence, too shocked by the statement to dispute it. Daniel sighed heavily as he reached for her hand and linked his fingers through hers.

‘I decided it was better if I drove you away rather than run the risk of that happening, Emma. Maybe I was wrong but I did it with the best of intentions. I did it for you and I hope you will believe that.’

‘It’s hard,’ she said shakily. ‘You hurt me so much, Daniel. At the time I didn’t know if I would ever get over what you’d done, and now you tell me that you did it for me—’

She broke off, unable to disguise her scepticism. She hated to think that he might be lying to her but what else could she think? She had offered him her love and he had rejected it in the cruellest way possible. How could that have been to her advantage?

She went to stand up, not sure if she could sit there and listen to any more, but he pulled her back down beside him. His tone was urgent now, the look he gave her filled with desperation.

‘I’m not explaining this very well, so it’s no wonder that you’re confused. But what I said was true. Sending you away seemed like the only thing I could do to protect you.’

‘Protect me? From what? I loved you, Daniel. I wanted to be with you and told you that. Surely you must have known I was telling you the truth?’

‘Of course I did!’ He gripped her hand so hard that she winced and he swore softly, under his breath, as he released her. Standing up, he went over to the window and stood there, staring out across the garden. And when he spoke his voice echoed with so much pain that it brought tears to her eyes.

‘I knew you loved me, Emma, and that was what scared me, the fact that you loved me so much you were willing to give up your dreams to be with me.’ He turned and she could see the regret in his eyes. ‘I couldn’t let you do that, my darling. It was too great a risk, you see.’

‘No, I don’t see. I don’t understand what you mean, Daniel.’ She leant forward beseechingly. ‘I would have been happy to give up my plans to become a surgeon if it had meant we could be together.’

‘I know you mean that but can’t you see that it would have driven a wedge between us eventually?’ He came back and knelt in front of her. ‘You admitted only the other day that you would have regretted giving up surgery, so how long do you think it would have been before you’d blamed me for making that decision?’

She started to demur but he shook his head. ‘No, I’ve seen it happen before, Emma. It was the reason why my own parents’ marriage failed. My mother was just starting out as a barrister when she met my father. He was in the diplomatic service, which meant he was posted overseas for long periods of time. It would have been impossible for Mum to pursue her career after they married so she gave up the law.’

‘But surely she must have thought it all through, weighed up the pros and cons before she made her decision?’

‘Of course she did, and I suppose she thought that being with Dad was more important than anything else.’ He shrugged. ‘Sadly, it didn’t work out that way. Mum became increasingly resentful about giving up her career. My childhood was one long round of arguments about it, in fact. It was a relief when I was sent to boarding school because it meant I didn’t have to listen to my parents fighting.’

‘It must have been horrible for you,’ she said quietly, and he shrugged.

‘It wasn’t a happy time. Mum was bored and frustrated, and Dad felt guilty because if it hadn’t been for him, her life would have been very different. The sad thing was that they really loved one another in the beginning but it wasn’t enough.’

‘And you believe it wouldn’t have been enough for us either?’ Emma said flatly.

‘No, I don’t think it would have been. I think that in time you’d have regretted giving up so much for me.’ He squeezed her fingers. ‘I knew how much surgery meant to you, you see. That’s why I discounted the idea of moving to Scotland to be with you while you did your training.’

‘You would have done that for me?’

‘Yes, willingly, if it had been the right thing to do. The problem was that I knew you would need to devote all your time and energy to your work. Surgery isn’t an easy option and I would have been an unnecessary distraction.’ He sighed. ‘That’s why I told you that my career meant more to me than our relationship. I wanted to protect you, Emma, and, if I’m honest, I wanted to protect myself as well. I couldn’t have stood it if one day I’d seen resentment in your eyes when you looked at me because you’d failed to achieve your ambitions.’

Daniel took a deep breath. He had no idea how Emma was going to react to what he had told her and the strain made him feel as though every nerve had been stretched to breaking point. He literally jumped when she finally spoke.

‘Why didn’t you tell me all this, about your parents and everything, five years ago?’

He looked up but it was impossible to guess what she was thinking and his nerves seemed to tighten that bit more. ‘Because I was afraid that you would persuade me that none of it mattered, that what had happened to my parents would never happen to us,’ he told her simply.

‘Maybe it wouldn’t have done. Maybe