Honkytonk Hell: A Dark and Twisted Urban Fantasy (The Broken Bard Chronicles Book 1) eden Hudson (best book club books txt) 📖

“Fine,” Tempie said. “I can wait. What we’ve got in store for you is better than a fast trip to Hell, anyway.”

“That’s my girl,” Kathan said, coming into my line of sight. He grabbed Tempie and kissed her, pushing her with his body until the back of her knees were against the coffin.

I didn’t have a problem with making out and some heavy petting in public—that would be pretty hypocritical considering Mitzi and I had gotten arrested at the last Armistice Celebration for banging on the Ferris wheel—but they were really getting into it.

Kathan bent her over the coffin and slid his hand down her super-short skirt and between her legs. She moaned and pushed against him.

“Getting a good look?” he asked me. “This is the first thing I’m going to do to Modesty when she comes running to me, begging to be my familiar. Second? Hell, you’ve got an imagination. Now imagine it with twins.”

I went crazy inside. There wasn’t even a type of music for that kind of pissed-off psycho screaming. Just fucking insane.

Kathan laughed like he could hear it.

Across the room, the door opened and more wings rustled. The hot, black smell that was still all over Colt hit me.

“Rian just reported seeing Modesty walking up the road toward the mansion,” Mikal said.

“Have him pick her up,” Kathan said.

The door closed and cut off Mikal’s scent.

Kathan smirked down at me.

“Looks like I’m going to get to do that with Modesty sooner than I thought,” he said. He yanked the garlic bag out of my mouth. “All right. Let’s get the pissing contest out of the way.”

My legs were asleep, so I grabbed the sides of the coffin and tried to ramp myself out at him. But I was too focused on the rigor mortis to be ready for the healing. Feeling maggots eating away at my insides and shoving my bones back into place—I couldn’t take it. My knees gave out. I cracked my head on the corner of the coffin and barely felt it over the healing.

“High noon and not a cloud in the sky, Tough,” Kathan said. “Trapped like the very last dumbass Whitney. Not that you haven’t been useful. Colt never would’ve killed you, not even with Mikal working on him for another month. Now the whole world is going to be mine. I suppose I ought to thank you.”

I pulled my hand off my stomach long enough to flip Kathan a “You’re welcome” with my middle finger. The last rib inched itself out of my organs and snapped into place with a firecracker bang. The place where I hit my head started to work itself out, but I didn’t wait. I kicked in the vamp speed and went after Tempie.

It was a bluff, but Kathan reacted before I got close enough to have to stop. He grabbed me by the neck and threw me into the stained-glass window over his couch. I guess I should’ve considered it lucky that the damn thing didn’t break and send me up in flames, but I was having trouble seeing it that way with the back of my skull smashed flat.

The healing started again before I hit the floor. I heard Tempie laughing as I tried to tear the back of my head off, but until the brains unsquished themselves, it sounded like her giggling was coming from underwater.

Kathan was prowling around me, ready for more.

“Do you want to hear the real irony, Tough?” he asked.

No. I didn’t want to hear any more bragging or explanations or this-is-all-going-according-to-plan bullshit. All I wanted was to beat the hell out of someone besides my best friend or my brother for a change.

I pushed up, sprinted. Lowered my shoulder, aiming for Kathan’s stomach. He took the hit and rolled with it. Came up on top.

Damn body heat. Kathan’s internal temp had to be over one-fifty and feeling it against me was making me hard.

“Flattering,” he said, “But you’re not my type.”

I’m a top anyhow, I thought.

Me laughing surprised Kathan. He hesitated. I tried Colt’s trick, wrapping my legs around Kathan’s chest, but my boot got caught up on his wing. I kicked the base where it connected to his shoulder blade. That pitched him off balance. Before he could catch himself, I punched him in the throat. Ryder would’ve been proud.

Kathan coughed and stumbled back. I was going after him when something took me out. Tempie had hit me in the face with a huge-ass crucifix. I felt that burning cold freeze me down to my soul.

When I could see again, Kathan was pulling me up one-handed by my shoulder. He hit me hard enough to break my jaw. My fangs tore open my lip.

“The irony is,” Kathan said, bouncing my head off the side of the coffin, “There was a time I actually wondered whether I’d be able to defeat His chosen soldiers.” He grabbed my head on the rebound and smashed it into the coffin again. “But that was back before I knew they were a bunch of fucking rednecks.”

Things were getting a little blurry from all the head-smashing. I know I ripped the lid off the coffin and swung it at Kathan, but he moved so fast that vamp speed looked like slow motion in comparison. He must’ve wrenched the lid out of my hands. I heard it snap over his knee, then he grabbed my left arm, yanked it out of the socket, and chopped my broken rib with a piece of the coffin lid. I tried to twist away from another hit, but I wasn’t moving right. He was going for three when the door opened.

That foamy citrus beer smell filled the room. Kathan stopped before the coffin lid smacked me again. I dropped, probably looking like the