Short Fiction Fritz Leiber (free e books to read .txt) 📖

At any rate that was my hunch about the buttons and the screens. It tantalized rather than helped, for the only button that seemed to be marked in any way was the one (guessing by color) for Atlantic Highlands, and I certainly didn’t want to go there. Like Alamos, Atla-Hi has the reputation for being a mysteriously dangerous place. Not openly mean and death-on-Deathlanders like Walla Walla or Porter, but buggers who swing too close to Atla-Hi have a way of never turning up again. You never expect to see again two out of three buggers who pass in the night, but for three out of three to keep disappearing is against statistics.

Alice was beside me now, scanning things over too, and from the way she frowned and whatnot I gathered she had caught my hunch and also shared my puzzlement.

Now was the time, all right, when we needed an instruction manual and not one in Chinese neither!

Pop swallowed a mouthful and said, “Yep, now’d be a good time to have him back for a minute, to explain things a bit. Oh, don’t take offense, Ray, I know how it was for you and for you too, Alice. I know the both of you had to murder him, it wasn’t a matter of free choice, it’s the way us Deathlanders are built. Just the same, it’d be nice to have a way of killing ’em and keeping them on hand at the same time. I remember feeling that way after murdering the Alamoser I told you about. You see, I come down with the very fever I’d faked and almost died of it, while the man who could have cured me easy wouldn’t do nothing but perfume the landscape with the help of a gang of anaerobic bacteria. Stubborn single-minded cuss!”

The first part of that oration started up my sickness again and irked me not a little. Dammit, what right had Pop to talk about how all us Deathlanders had to kill (which was true enough and by itself would have made me cotton to him) if as he’d claimed earlier he’d been able to quit killing? Pop was, an old hypocrite, I told myself⁠—he’d helped murder the Pilot, he’d admitted as much⁠—and Alice and me’d be better off if we bedded the both of them down together. But then the second part of what Pop said so made me want to feel pleasantly sorry for myself and laugh at the same time that I forgave the old geezer. Practically everything Pop said had that reassuring touch of insanity about it.

So it was Alice who said, “Shut up, Pop”⁠—and rather casually at that⁠—and she and me went on to speculate and then to argue about which buttons we ought to push, if any and in what order.

“Why not just start anywhere and keep pushing ’em one after another?⁠—you’re going to have to eventually, may as well start now,” was Pop’s lighthearted contribution to the discussion. “Got to take some chances in this life.” He was sitting in the back seat and still nibbling away like a white-topped mangy old squirrel.

Of course Alice and me knew more than that. We kept making guesses as to how the buttons worked and then backing up our guesses with hot language. It was a little like two savages trying to decide how to play chess by looking at the pieces. And then the old escape-to-paradise theme took hold of us again and we studied the colored blobs on the World screen, trying to decide which would have the fanciest accommodations for blasé ex-murderers. On the North America screen too there was an intriguing pink patch in southern Mexico that seemed to take in old Mexico City and Acapulco too.

“Quit talking and start pushing,” Pop prodded us. “This way you’re getting nowhere fast. I can’t stand hesitation, it riles my nerves.”

Alice thought you ought to push ten buttons at once, using both hands, and she was working out patterns for me to try. But I was off on a kick about how we should darken the plane to see if any of the other buttons glowed beside the one with the Atla-Hi violet.

“Look here, you killed a big man to get this plane,” Pop broke in, coming up behind me. “Are you going to use it for discussion groups or are you going to fly it?”

“Quiet,” I told him. I’d got a new hunch and was using the dark glasses to scan the instrument panel. They didn’t show anything.

“Dammit, I can’t stand this any more,” Pop said and reached a hand and arm between us and brought it down on about fifty buttons, I’d judge.

The other buttons just went down and up, but the Atla-Hi button went down and stayed down.

The violet blob of Atla-Hi on the screen got even brighter in the next few moments.

The door closed with a tiny thud.

We took off.

Any man who deals in murder, must have very incorrect ways of thinking, and truly inaccurate principles.

For that matter we took off fast with the plane swinging to beat hell. Alice and me was in the two kneeling seats and we hugged them tight, but Pop was loose and sort of rattled around the cabin for a while⁠—and serve him right!

On one of the swings I caught a glimpse of the seven dented gas tanks, looking like dull crescents from this angle through the orange haze and getting rapidly smaller as they hazed out.

After a while the plane levelled off and quit swinging, and a while after that my image of the cabin quit swinging too. Once again I just managed to stave off the vomits, this time the vomits from natural causes. Alice looked very pale around the gills and kept her face buried in the chinrest of her chair.

Pop ended up right in our faces, sort of spreadeagled against the