To The Dog Inside by CornFed (ebook reader computer txt) đ
- Author: CornFed
Book online «To The Dog Inside by CornFed (ebook reader computer txt) đ». Author CornFed
Pampered
Pampered is the manicured poodle
With the pretty pink bows in her hair
She doesnât walk very much
She is carried just about everywhere
But donât dare tell her she has it made
Donât call her lazy when she sits in the shade
Cause then youâll know one big truth
Even Pampered dogs will show you a tooth
Sassy
Sassy struts her way into your day
You know she will only stay
âWhen I can have it my way!â
The Sassy Chihuahua would say
Let her do what she wants
Only hug her if she asks
If she wants to eat your chair
Then, well, at least she avoided the couch
Protective
Protective scares all who come near his fence
Heâs got teeth as big as a wild boar
âThis is my yard silly human!â
And all the kids run with each loud ROAR!
Except for one kid
He gets to stay
Itâs the German Shepherds friend
And Protective scared his enemies away
Naturalist
Naturalist likes to sunbathe at lunch
He chases little bugs in the yard
He watches the squirrels bicker at the hawk
He gets pieces of dirt on his paws
He likes the wind in his face
When he takes a Poo
What else would you expect
A MaltiPoo to do?
Variety
Variety chases his tail!
Variety chases the windsâ smells!
Variety peed inside the house!
Variety just ate a dead mouse!
Variety has eaten your lunchmeat!
Variety has mud on his feet!
Wait, where is that crazy dog?
Ah, Variety the Beagle is now asleep.
Rambunctious
Mom, Rambunctious ate some dirt!
Mom, Rambunctious ate my shoe!
Mom, Rambunctious ate a dead rat!
Mom, Yuk! Rambunctious ate some dog poo!
Mom, Rambunctious got caught in the stickers!
Mom, Rambunctious fell in the mud chasing a cat!
âSon, at the end of the day, when heâs done
âGo give that Jack Russell a long long bath!â
Resilient
Not many dogs can live to be 20
Not many dogs can eat a steak with no teeth
Not many dogs can live without their shots
Not many dogs can get hit by a car with no scars
Not many dogs can sleep in the cold
Not many dogs disappear for a week
Iâm not even sure of the breed
Of this Resilient dog lying at my feet
Laid Back
Laid Back keeps his cool
And there isnât anything worth his attention
Except a few female dogs
Who keep sniffing in his direction
Laid Back looks almost like a person
Sitting there on the recliner
Paws around his drink and cigar
Laid Back Bull Dogs donât move very far.
Loose
3 litters a year
This ole gal canât be still
Always running around
With the other dogs in town
But each puppy grows up strong
And carries himself with pride
Were it not for their mom the Loose Dachshund
They wouldnât be around to enjoy the Ride
Slut
Unable to have puppies
She enjoys her life
You wonât find her at home
On most any night
âMom, where did she go?â
âSon, sheâs across the street.â
And so the Yorkie enjoys her beer
While another Toy dog barks beneath the sheets.
Gluttony
Just because he cannot run
Doesnât mean Gluttony is bad
He enjoys the finer things in life
And one bowl never made him glad
Donât think of taking Gluttony for a walk
Unless you bring along something sweet
That Basset Hound likes everything big and round
From his fanny to his tummy to his treats
Preacher
âLetâs keep it calm and quiet todayâ
Said the Preacher to his flock
None of the other dogs paid any mind
As they ran off wagging their behinds
âNow thatâs more like itâ
Said the Preacher to himself
This quiet and gentle Great Dane
Now had time to watch the football game
Rambler
âMom, Rambler is gone again!â
The Rambler doesnât know a home
Walking the streets late at night
Chasing cars at the crack of dawn
âMom, Rambler is home again!â
The Rambler always returns
Where else can he take a break
Before his time to Ramble Returns?
Trouncy
Ouncy Bouncy Trouncy
Lick, bark, and run
Swim to the other side of the pond
Chase the bullets coming from the gun
Never a dull moment
Life is just so so good!
Trouncy the Boykin Spaniel
Barely takes the time to eat his food.
Majestic
When Majestic walks into a room
Everyone stops and stares
The women feel a bit faint
And the men wish they were not there
But donât be afraid to shake his hand
And tell him how striking he is
The Majestic Mastiff may be powerful
But deep down he still is a kid
Pirate
âARRRR! Who goes there?â
The Pirate does forewarn
He meets every one face to face
With his sharp weapons drawn
âARRRR! I don't know you!â
The Pirate makes few new friends
Everyone thinks this Pit Bull is mean
But, really, heâs just playing pretend
Carly Simon
âNobody does it betterâ
âMakes me feel sad for the restâ
âNobody does it half as good as youâ
âBaby youâre the bestâ
Puppies and adults
At the pound
Whichever one you pick
Makes the Carly Simon sound
It goes round and round
When we feel like a dog in the pound
And we make the same sound
As the goodness is handed down
Seeker
Donât let his exterior fool you
He may look very dumb
But Seeker is just simply waiting
For the next smell to enter his lungs
A master of patiently seeking
A perfector of chasing it down
Ready for the next adventure
You never know what Seeker the Bloodhound
Might have found
Lying around this boring town
Drunk
Those sparkling eyes are begging for something
But Drunk doesnât need any more booze
Sheâs just glad youâre home at last
Sheâs dancing around like itâs a saloon
âCan we? Can we? Letâs do this thing!â
Her eyes dancing left to right
With each tail-nub swing
Drunk the Boxer is ready for tonight!
Hong Kong Fooey
She slowly waltzes through her day
Noble and proud
Hair sweeping the ground
As if sheâs palace bound
But when youâre gone
She puts on her mask!
She throws on her robe!
This little Tibettan toy
Slices her way through her day
Itâs the Hong Kong Fooey Shih Tzu
All the way
Duuuh
âDuuuh, Iâm awfully sleepy.â
âDuuuh, Iâm licking my paws.â
âDuuuh, my owners think I donât careâ
âDuuuh, I wonât even chase a ballâ
âDuuuh, this couch is pretty niceâ
âDuuuh, wish theyâd just leave me aloneâ
âDuuuh, wait, Iâm a cat!â
âWhat am I doing in a dog poem?â
Zip
âMom, why did Zip chase dad this morning?
âMom, why did Zip chase the car?â
âMom, why does Zip always run to the neighbors
âWhen their fence is left ajar?â
âSon, Zip lives in a GreyHounds worldâ
âAnd only he can seeâ
âThat rabbit slippersâ
âOr a rabbit bumper stickerâ
âOr a rabbit statueâ
âIs as close to heaven as he can beâ
James Bond
When he walks into a room
Piano music fills the air
He quietly calms all noise
With the slightest brush of his hair
At the poker table
All bets are likely
On the dance floor
All women are his guests
But he holds both decision paws
Close to his chest
Food is served on a silver platter
His watery mixture in an upside down cone
âMy dear man did you shake my drink?â
âOr did you stir it with a bone?â
As quietly as he entered
James Bond also tried to leave the same
I spotted him using the back door
I had to know his real name
âJames Bond, what kind of dog are you?â
âJames Bond, what country do you come from?â
But he only checked his watch
And then dropped me a MilkBone on the floor.
Tubby
BOMP! BOMP! BOMP!
Tubby walks down the stairs
BOMP! BOMP! BOMP!
Tubby jumps into a chair
BOMP! BOMP! BOMP!
Tubby is one fat dude
BOMP! BOMP! BOMP!
Quick! Hide! Heâs after your food!
HOT!
HOT! sleeks into the living room
HOT! demands all the boys attention
Not because she asks for it
But because she lives in her HOT! dimension
HOT! wears the prettiest fur
HOT! has diamonds on her paws
Sheâs HOT!
And youâre NOT!
So WORSHIP ME!
Said the HOT! Maltese.
Bye-Bye
âMom, why does our dog have a funny name?â
âMom, why does she like to eat my taco?â
âMom, why does she bark in Spanish?â
âMom, is our dog going loco?â
âSon, Iâll be honest with youâ
âWe really didnât know what to expectâ
âWhen we found the puppy on the side of roadâ
âWearing a big sign with the words âBye-Byeâ on his neckâ
Only Bye-Bye really knew the story
Of how the confusion became
You see she was raised south of the border
And Bye-Bye means Chow-Chow
And that became her name.
Drunk - Part Deux
Just because he stumbles around the house
Just because he cannot even bark fast enough
Just because he lies on the couch when tired
Doesnât mean heâs a worthless schmuck!
He knows all about the fun things in life
He loves the feeling of funky
He is a creative dog!
Give him a paint and a brushy!
Let him sip beer from the bowl!
Let him stumble in the door!
Let him bark at the moon!
Let him be the Dog we all adore!
Because whether we see it or not
A Drunk dog is still a dog
Pick the breed, pick the mix
Dog, spelled backwards, is still God
Eccentric
âMom, he doesnât want the treat!â
âMom, he doesnât want to go outside!â
âMom, he doesnât want to get up!â
âMom, why doesnât he sleep by our bedside?â
âMom, he just runs in circles!â
âMom, he wonât even let me pet!â
âMom, now heâs got the cat in his lap!â
âMom, does our dog need help?â
âSon, itâs time you learnedâ
âThe biggest lesson of your timeâ
âOne can do as one desiresâ
âAnd be who you areâ
âAnd our Eccentric Dachshund"
"Is just speaking his mind.â
First Class
âThe leather seats are nice up here.â
First Class thought to himself
âAnd I have to say the steak is top notchâ
As First Class ordered a drink from the top shelf
âThe stewardess keeps giving me âthe lookââ
First Class merely nodded at the advance
âBut I am more fond of that poodleâ
As First Class barked and tipped his glass
âNice selection of moviesâ
âI always liked Forrest Gumpâ
First Class felt he was lucky like Forrest
His Owner always keeping him out of the dump
But First Class didnât even think about
All the other dogs sitting in their cage
Because he knew they couldnât really help it
Their owners didnât know how to play lifeâs game
First Class hoped he would inspire those humans
To give their dogs a life of perfection
âIf humans would think of
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