Poems For Sabrina by R.J Reagle (ebook reader that looks like a book .TXT) 📖

Alone

I’m mad at someone
But I don’t know who
Obviously
I cant be mad at you
Even though
You left me alone
I cant be mad
Because you went home
But then I cant
Be mad at god
I haven’t believed in him
Since you’ve been gone
So now you tell me
What do I do?
If I cant ever
Be mad at you
I don’t want to be here
don’t want to live
don’t want to fight
don’t want to forgive
I’m alone now
And I’m scared real bad
And I cant shake these feelings
Of being so mad.
Why did you leave me?
Where did you go?
Is being free
Worth leaving me alone?
But now I’m just selfish
Wishing you would stay
Just wanting so bad
For that one more day
I knew the day
Before you died
You don’t know
How bad I cried
But I thought in my head
I had more time
Was wanting that
Such a bad crime?
No it’s not fair
And the pains like fire
It’s worse than the knife
Its my own desire
The desire to see you
And touch your face
And wanting to know
If you’re happy in that place
But how could you be happy
When you belong here with me
I’m all alone
But you cant see
I love you more
Than my own life
And I know you
couldn’t continue your fight
But you said you’d hold on
Not only for me
But for mommy and daddy
And the whole world you see
You made the difference
My little bumble bee
And I’m so happy
That you’re finally free
But I don’t want to wait
To see you again
I want to hold you
And still be your best friend
My little sister
Forever in sleep
I’m still mad
Everyday I weep
So tell me now
If I cant be mad at you
Who can I yell at
How do I get back to you?

Rae


Hopeless

Wanting
Needing
Pleading
Crying
Come back
Just for today
No more pain
Make it go away
I cant breathe
Cant get a grip
My heart from my chest
Was literally ripped
I want to scream
I want to yell
Let it be a dream
I’m living in hell
There’s no happiness
There’s no joy
There’s no hope
There’s no ploy
I cant stay here
And hear her voice
Because its causing me
To make the wrong choice
I want to die
don’t want to cry
Just close my eyes and lie
And with her I want to fly
But mom would hate me
And dad would too
And Shane would never tell me
“I love you”
So I’ll stick out my sentence
Just waiting to die
And be with Sabrina
Up in the sky

Rae


Cry Out For Me

Why do I hear the bad
Things you said
They take my heart
And rips it to shreds
“No more Rachael No more”
Plays in my mind
I cant stop it
I hear it all the time
I expect your call
And to hear your laugh
But it never comes
Was there ever a past?
Sabrina I need you
More than you know
I tried to hide these thoughts
But they always show
Cry out for me baby
Let me know that you’re there
I’m still here
And I still care
I just want to hold you
And see you smile
The pain hurts bad
Maybe it’ll numb in a while
All I am
Is angry and hurt
It almost killed me
Throwing in that dirt
So listen here
Look and see
How much it hurt
When you left me

Rae

Heavy Heart

With a heavy heart
I see your face
And cry
Without shame or disgrace
That beautiful light
Is gone forever
And nobody
Else would ever
Compare to you
Love is deep love is strong
I don’t really care
If its wrong
To want you
To come back, come to me
So I can see your face
Fill yet again with glee
I miss the way
We used to talk
I would help again
To let you walk
By my side
Just you and I
And I wont have to look up
At the sky
Missing you
My best friend
And I always play
That miserable end
In my mind
Feels like its engraved
And I cherish
That precious life you gave
I’ll remember you
Until the day I die
Then I’ll join you
No more goodbyes


Rae


Nightmares


Middle of the night
I wake up in sweat
My heart pounding
And full of regrets
I look around
Let it be a dream
But as you come up missing
I let out a shrill scream
It comes from my heart
It comes from my soul
It makes me shudder
And lose more control
“WHY DID YOU DO THIS?!”
I’ll scream to the sky
My breathing catches
And I start to cry
Nightmare
Please let it be
I cant stand it
When you’re away from me
This isn’t fair
You supposed to stay
Please oh please
Give me one more day
don’t leave Sabrina
Come here please
I love you
Just don’t leave

Rae


Insane

The thoughts are turning
Distorting my image
Making me scream
In a horrible rage
Did you know
I saw it coming
From the first day you left
Forever leaving
I hate myself
My sorrow it stretches
And everything comes together
And fills me with regrets
I used to love roses
They reminded me of you
Beautiful and dangerous
But they died too
You promised me
You swore to god on our love
Well I just want to hold you
And join you up above
There’s nothing left for me here
Without you I’m alone
I just wanna pack my things
But I don’t have a home
You’re not in my life
You’re gone forever
Why did you leave me
Did I stop loving you? Never
So come back Sabrina
I’ll try harder
don’t leave me
Forever insane

Rae


Angels Cry In The Night

As the rain falls gently
Against my heart
I hear an angel cry
Is it you?
Can you hear me?
I look up at the sky
Life is short
that’s no lie
And darkness falls across my sky
Swirling gently thunderous rain
I look around
And feel your pain
Angels cry in the night
And forever may you
Take great flight
My little one
Forever in sleep
And dream your dreams
Of my love that is deep

Rae


Time doesn’t make a difference


The thing about time
It doesn’t heal the pain
On the outside maybe
But inside its not the same
It drags it out
The bruises the scars
But all we’re really thinking is
Of whom we all are
And what’s the point
Why are we here?
No one has answers
But most don’t care
Why do we all
Live different lives?
Some live forever
Some very brief
Some kill and some care
Some have beliefs
And others have nothing
But would give up their things
And some are so stingy
With the wealth luck to them brings
And we all give life
And we all are born
But we destroy other
And hearts are torn
Maybe we all die tomorrow
Or one at a time
But it doesn’t make a difference
Because we all die
So time heals nothing
Just sits there and waits
Times running out
In everybody’s fates


Rae


What’s life mean anyway


Its it so hard to think
That there isn’t a point
But no one thinks that
Do they?
The mindless zombies go day to day
Not knowing the others thoughts
One might have lost someone
But the other is in debt
One is an orphan
The other abused
But we don’t think of them any ways
We think of our own hell
And what does it mean?
The religious think god loves us
Some others think the devil owns us
Others don’t understand why it matters
Others like me
I don’t care who knows it
But I’m afraid of life
Never death
I’m scared to keep going
And have more terrible things done to me
Is it so selfish?
I shake at night
Afraid of my past
But still living there
You see it was never about me
But about her
And I’m scared of her too
Scared I failed her
And that she would blame me
I’m scared of my dreams
Of her eyes crying to me
Asking for help I cant give
I fear the whispers and I cant reach out at night
Maybe in death
I can find my answers
Maybe in her arms
And know that I’m home again
As long as she stays with me

Rae


Lost

Lonely
Just wondering who am I?
Cant figure it out
Its why I cry
Scared
don’t wanna keep going
I hate life
I hate not knowing
And I just wanna know
Where I have to be
Waiting for the end
I’m so lost you see
And I just wanna be free

Rae


Depression

Like anger
And fire
It roars
This desire
To die
To breathe no more
Just wanting so bad not to cry
And never again be sore
I just wanna b w u
If u can b w me
But not right now
Although I love u baby

Rae

Publication Date: 07-15-2010

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
to my little sister who died after an 8yr long fight with cancer. may she always be with me.