That Cold Black Cloud by John Reeves (rocket ebook reader txt) 📖

Suicide

Inside my mind I know it's time,
the life I live, it's no longer mine.

I know it will be quick,
one click,
and it's over with.

Every time I try, I can't do it,
but why?
cause I see the look in my kids eyes,
asking god why,
there dad had to die,
Momma hold them babies,
and don't cry.

I can see myself in a casket,
something won't let me get past it.

My son would grow up a bastard,
'cause his dad was the coward.

To young to understand,
try hard son, to be a good man.

Believe in yourself and, do anything you want to,
don't forget how much daddy loved you,
sister too, hold her close like I told you to do.

Visit the stone on the ground,
cry a little with nobody around,
pray with the religion you found,
drop the flowers and, turn around.

Walk away from me like I did you,
don't feel bad, I asked you to

Just one round,
graveyard bound,
dead body found,
on the ground,
gun shot but, no sound.

Put the gun away,
not today,
I want to try another way,
that allows me to stay,
even if it's in the gray,
The piper I'm willing to pay,
to keep the reaper at bay.

"Me on a bad day!"

Paranoid Fantasy

I drift when I drive,
to stay alive,
corruption I strive,

I know they're watching me too,
following me to see what I do,
I'm not sure it isn't you.

Yeah, it's all true,
do you think I'd lie to you?
It's like dejavu, what should I do?

I can see him somewhere in the night,
checking on me with the flashlight,
tailing me like an expert, doing it right,
when will I be at the end of the sight,

I know he's right beyond the window,
waiting for the chance, to you know,
to make the body count grow,
like in a dream I move slow,
not sure which way to go.

Is there another level of fear?
Kinda, stuck here, he's near.
I'm like a deer,
stuck in headlights, stop right here.

I grab my knife, off into the night,
I've had enough, ready to fight,
terrified, this might not be right.

Walking back, looking around,
where is he at? looking for tracks,
checking the corners, and all the cracks,
trying to put together the facts.

There is someone out there trying to kill me,
I'm not sure who it might be,
I'm to blind to see.
Still thinking of every possibility.

I feel like I'm all alone
can't make a call with a tapped phone,
It's like I'm all alone, and nobody is home.

I close my eyes, but realize,
the sleep means, advantage his side,

I had a woman but, she couldn't take it see,
so when the first chance came, she left me.

Something always just isn't right,
not knowing if I'll make it through the night,
not on my life would I take a flight,
they'd take me down without a fight.

No I don't like my position,
I was just wishing, they'd listen,
before we're sent fishing,
with both arms missing.

Why can't you just see,
There Out to Get Me.

Wicked Kid

Look what you did,
you wicked kid.
You got to live,
and not die of SID.
Still you got rid,
of an innocent kid.
Gun at school? Yes you did.
Shot in the head, two kids,
Dead, the parents dread,
listening to what the news said.

Back up, and lie.
You try, but can't,
and why,
because you killed a guy.
an eye for an eye.
The Devil said,
"Don't Cry"
Say goodbye, to the life,
give the bible a try,
not sure why, just wait and, die.

He never got the hugs,
a cold heart moving drugs,
to the rest of the thugs,
who never had much love,

9mm and a glove.

The Stranger

He came into town,
with his head down,
not looking around,
people kinda frowned,
all tightly wound,
he spit on the ground,
looked up but, didn't make a sound,
eye balled the sheriff, then turned around,
pulled his piece and, shot him down.

The man I was looking for, has been found.

{Uninvited}
It's dark, walking across the baseball park.
The fear I feel inside, isn't trying to hide.
Across the way, Night has overcome the day.
Walking fast, to get passed, the tall grass.
Is he down at the creak, waiting to meet.
Maybe he's not here, and nothing to fear.
Not the case, this could end up in a foot race.
Is there really a safe place? To save face.
In there somewhere, courage to bare.

(Uninvited-2)
Payment is due,
this time it cost you.

Nothing is free, addiction,
pays me, come in and, see.

Fiends pay with the things they stole,
I accept it in payment, that really is cold.

20, 40, he will be back,
that poor soul, is hooked on crack.

Do I care if I help him die?
Not really, why?

It's not my fault, his addiction,
bought house, car , boat just don't get caught.

Territory is a whole different issue,
hold your own, nobody will miss you,
they'll take your customers too. It's true.
There's no limit to what they do.

I really hope I'm getting through to you.

"Talking to myself"
Is it really wrong,
to listen to the same song,
all day long, with nobody home?

To pull out that old picture of you,
remember what we used to do,
back when you loved me too,
to let you walk away, I'm a fool,
remember back in high school,
you thought the jocks were cool,
how I watched you by the swimming pool,
that two piece always made me drool.

Separate ways, used up days,
going through my mind like a replays.

Following or stalking,
I was just walking,
to myself talking,

Growing like a weed.
just past my knee,
that boy looks just like me,
she said it can't be.

As long as your a happy family, then fine with me.

I'm Sorry

To you I apologize,

I never even realized,

the lies inside, could paralyze,

don't cry, I can see it in your eyes,

it's never easy to say your good-byes,

to break the binding ties,

four years time flies,

bye, bye not in disguise,

your not the first, happens to guys,

everyone tries, denies, truth and lies,

It can kind of mesmerize,

like the stars high in the skies,

shooting star shine so bright, try to memorize,

In the end I hope there really is a prize.

Text: Copyright 2-13-10
Publication Date: 02-14-2010

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
This is dedicated to: 'The family'