Up and Down by .CHRIS. Thiesgen (love letters to the dead TXT) 📖

Contents:

Runaway_ p.8

Hope_p.9

Jump and Swim_p.12

I wish_p.14

Taste my Blood_p.16

No Nigh before Dawn_p.17

Sweets for my Soul_p.19

On the Road to Anywhere_p.21

Only Pray_p.23

Waiting for a Miracle_p.24

You know I could_p.26

Speaking 'bit German_p.28

Just a Man_p.30

Little Lion_p.31

Lost and Found_p.33

My God_p.35

Oh my Lord_p.36

Rarely True_p.37

Sadly_p.38

Simply Sex_p.40

Stop_p.42

Sun without Fun_p.43

The End of a World_p.45

Thee First Song_p.46

Fuck the Snob_p.49

Ghost Town Blues_p.52

Going for Gold_p.53

Drummer Boy_p.54

Be Careful_p.56

Facing Liberty_p.58

Healing Game_p.59

Point of no Return_p.61

Blackbird_p.63

Dead End_p.67


Runaway

I practice to hold on
Who the very I am
And not to run away
As fare as I can

I'm a refugee of myself
Tired of it and unfulfilled
Shot and upset
Willed and unwilled

I'm trying hard
On motivation
To finish the artwork
Of my own creation

I know what to do
And do something ever
For reaching nothing
Not yet, maybe never

Okay, I want to be
Grateful, too
And say I've changed
A step into

Into a life
Better than before
Into some peace
Into some more

I practice to hold on
I practice being free
I practice extracting
My pure me


Hope

I'm so sad
That I could cry
But I can't
Wondering why

Maybe I'm not
As lonesome as I feel
Maybe there's someone
Present and real

I sit and listen
To the music of the trees
I watch the silence
Between ones be's

I want to do something
But I'm paralized
Want myself to be true
And surprised

I'm longing for talking, I'm longing for walking
But not so on by my own
I want to share details, I want to share wholeness
Along, around and at home.

I'm so alone that I could shout
To make me hear and see me someone
To shout out my sadness
And make it all gone

Who am I, who will I
Who could I be
If I had love for me
With me

I'm going on
But feeling back
Still surrounded by water
Around my neck

But my head is up
I'm breathing, I'm seeing
Feeling worth
A human being

I keep on smiling
Even loaded like a dump
One day there'll be bottom
With love in to jump


Jump and Swim

You make me smile
You bring up the sun
you make me happy
Having fun

You create things
Precious and cute
You make me love
Absolute

I wanna dance
I wanna kiss
I wanna embrace
And no more miss

I wanna make fire
Out of us two
I want intimicy
I want you

Lovely you
Lovely mine
I want to fulfill you
I want you ' be fine

How can I describe
The ambition, the passion
You are my lucky charm
My selfless possession

Take my hand
Take my life
Take my heart
Be my wife

Take control
Take all I can be
Take my love
And Goodness, love me

I will be proud
I will be true
I will be king
I will be you


I Wish

I wish that you were proud of me
I wish the way you look at me
Those shiny eyes I wish to see
The glamor of your harmony

I wish that I'm the only one
I wish that I'm your clue
I wish to be your answer
And all your dreams come true

I wish you were my knight
To protect me in fight
I wish you were my man
Forever and again

I wish that I'm the loveliest
Thing you've ever seen
I wish to be your angel
Your feelings, oh, so keen

I wish to here your voice
Your breathing over me
I wish you to feel my body
In peaceful ecstasy

I wish to get a ring
Of love from you to see
The golden strong connection
Between our liberty

I wish that hand in hand
So all the world can see
I wish to care forever
I wish us to agree

I know that you can here me
My might, my sweetest hope
Please, please, you are the truth
You lighten up the road


Taste my Blood

Is there anyone
Who wants to see me happy
Is there anyone
Who wants to see the truth
Feeling atrociously strong
So strong
Not superficial
Without God
Simply wrong

I'm through with human nature
I'm through with world's reality
There's more I want to get
Maybe I'm a tiger
But sure I'm not a pet

Maybe I'm a man
Maybe I'm black
Maybe I'm an Indian
From Venus
Alive or dead

Go on thinking that I'm rough
But what you see is never enough

You've got to feel it
And deal with what is hot
Do more than you can
To know who I am
And taste
Not waste
My blood


No Night before Dawn

Can you see me
Little me
Poor and lonesome
As can be

Firestorm
Around my neck
Calling desert
For a wreck

Empty rooms
In empty spaces
Fading memories
Fading faces

Empty hearts
Desires, love
Empty skies
There high above

Don't wanna die
Beyond a smile
Don't wanna cry
Walking that mile

God give me happiness
To cover my bones
God give me peace
After too many homes

Let me wake up
With sun on my face
Blood in my heart
Power and grace

Open that door
I'm longing for
Long before daylight
Ain't be no night there anymore


Sweets for my Soul

Have you seen
The paradise
Lots of fruits and
Happy eyes

Open minds
And sunny shine
Lots of trust and
Hope Devine

Even though
No way, no goal
Lots of peace
For every soul

Can you get there
Every time
Through your heart
Or his or mine

Let me lead you
Until the end
To begin with
What was meant

Lucky you and
Lucky me
Through the darkness
Until we're free

And all in between
No way, no goal
Wonderful silence with
Sweets for my soul


0n the Road to Anywhere

Fuck yourself
When you're feeling bad
Fuck yourself
For feeling so sad

Every time
The same old shit
Every awakening
A bit of a bit

Fuck the hell
The angel's singing
When I'm deaf
Of devil's ringing

Pieces of mind
Versus pieces of luck
Damned lot of love
But the same lousy fuck

Open the gate
But what rest's only hate
True wicked seconds
To wait and to wait

Fuck everybody
Romantic sucks
Not worth at all
Miserable drugs

Get higher, get low
But stay who you've been
In the middle of nothing
Surrounded of sin

Every time
The same old shit
Every awakening a bit of a bit
Fuck the hell an angel's singing
When you're deaf of devil's ringing


Only Pray

Too much love to die
And not enough to live
What can I get
And what can I give

It's so awfully sad
Not to sing a brighter song
Not to glance much lighter
Only to get along

What can I do
What can I say
To find peace in you
I guess only pray

Pray for a tomorrow
Bright as the sun
Pray for loveliness
Honesty and fun


Waiting for a Miracle

What am I doing
Facing the emptiness
Give in to hate
Or happiness

God gracious, I have fallen
So deeply, so fast
Nothing left to comfort me
Or nearly ever last

Is that what you wanted
My father, my guide
Don't know where to go now
Don't know where to hide

Tears are invading me
Like a plague, oh, like a pest
Yelling in silence
Not willing to rest

God, my beloved
Please help me, I die
I'm losing touch with eternity
Please heal that blind eye

The day of reckoning has just come
I'm struggling to survive
Hell, it's unbearable
I'm hardly alive

I need you so urgently
Hardly yearning anymore
Far from whatever
Really beneath the shore


You know I Could

I know what's beautiful
I know what's good
I know what lingers
And maybe I should
Because I could
You know I could

But heaven is not me
That's not what I was meant to be

I know what's lovely
I know what's sweet
I know when someone has the beat
And maybe I should
Because I could
You know I could

Whatever I want
And it would be good

I know what's crazy
I know what's gee
I know what many people see
And maybe I should
Because I could
You know I could

Maybe I'm a fool
But I want you to rule


Speaking 'bit German

Human nature's awful
Human being sucks
May it be for the moment
Living creepy bucks

Love is worth it
Love is true
But come on brother
Deeply blue

Horrible characters
Horrible creatures
Nothing that lingers
Being that features

Can we be happy
Living around
Can we be honest
Near to the ground

Best to enjoy life
And having fun
Free from hate
Free from „run“

Run from escaping
Run from the drive
Run from hell's kitchen
For staying alive

World's not enough
To love and live sane
One world's only a peace
One world's just a game

The World's just an island
Depending the sun
Crowded with people
On the run

Sucking others, sucking themselves
Sucking what never begun
Sucking god's kindness, sucking freedom
Sucking pacience' gun


Just a Man

I'm just a pilgrim
I'm just a man
I'm doing well
The best I can

My ambitions are holy
My ambitions are fine
My life doesn't fit
It's a crime

Slowly running
Born to rise
Speaking, but stunning
Love and surprise

Damned suspense
The adventure am I
Near to handle it
Don't know why

What does it mean now
To be strong
Whoever you are
come along

I am bored
To be adored
I wanna be loved
Jesus, Lord


Little Lion

I'm not alone
I'm not with you
I'm feeling homeless

You say you love to see me smile
But I feel like crying
You say you see another person now
But it's only a part of the million ones
That make my person complete
You say: Don't tell me what to do!
But I was begging
And I never, never...never wanted to

I'm of your kind
I understand

I don't wanna cry
Because I love to see you love
I don't wanna be any other person
Than the one you desire
Come into my arms and let me feel you begging
And I won't let let it be

I wanna feel home
To let you see my smile
I wanna feel home
To be your incomplete complete person
I wanna feel home
Home with you

Don't be anxious my little lion
And insecure
Your worth that million
I'm very sure

I'm of your kind