What Might've Been by Melissa Willingham (snow like ashes series txt) 📖

What Might’ve Been

Dedicated in memory of Albert Miller, Jr.

Fondly I recall all of our conversations
we were engrossed in the stimulation
of our intellectual banter and chatter
the words we spoke in order to flatter

Although we never met what we had
was something special and I was glad
we had found a friend in one another
a kindred spirit, possibly a soul mate

No one else ever sounded so loving
and considerate of a partner’s needs
you came across as being respectful
inside my heart, you planted a seed

Before we could meet you were gone
passing away in your sleep one night
suddenly I felt so devastated and sad
thinking of everything we could’ve had

I’ll always wonder what might’ve been
had we shared intimate quality moments
before you unexpectedly ran out of time
leaving me wishing you had become mine

Never will I forget the way you touched me
with just the power of your sweet words
you were such a beautiful, thoughtful man
with you, I would’ve been proud to stand
forever I’ll imagine until my journey ends
what between the two of us might’ve been

Not Out Of Love

We were married, but not out of love
for all the wrong reasons, but not of love
how dare we give one to another
much less than we both deserved

It wasn’t for money or due to pregnancy
yet we hurried with a sense of urgency
wanting to impress and prove a point
to those who doubted we’d marry

Sometimes I wish things were different
that we’d worked it out somehow
other times I’m glad that it is over
and that we are not together now

I know we tried, but did not succeed
ultimately, we needed to be freed
from the vows we made to cherish
at least our friendship didn’t perish

If only we could’ve given it our all
instead the wall we built did fall
we never really had any chance
since there was no real romance


(Mother) Rose of My Heart

Dedicated to my mother, Brenda.

Whenever I’m feeling downhearted
and some days just won’t get started
whenever I feel awful, sad and blue
in those trying moments, I think of you

More beautiful to me than any flower
more radiant to me than any bright star
I inhale the welcome scent of your rose
I happily take in the sight of your glory

Mother, you are the rose of my heart
I’ll keep you there and hold you always
you are sheltered and safe, it’s all right
you’ll always be the rose of my heart
I could say you’re the apple of my eye
but instead, you’re the rose of my heart
the beauty of you makes me beautiful, too

Your hair feels like golden-spun warmth
your eyes are like two sea-green oceans
you move about with splendor and grace
your heart is always so open and inviting

Who else could I turn to better than you
with all the wonderful things that you do
you make my spirits soar high above and
you make my heart want to sing with glee

Breathing Again

Written for Tammy Trent and dedicated in memory of Trent Linderink.

You and I had so many wonderful years together
sometimes I thought it would surely last forever
until that fateful day you were taken away
carried up to the sky no longer by my side

Now life isn’t the same, I long to call your name
even through the pain and tears that fall like rain
God is holding me close and He’ll never let me go
I’m surrounded by peace and I’m free to release
all the hurt that I know and as His sweet love flows
suddenly, I awaken and begin breathing again

I’m trying hard to learn to stand on my own
as hard as that seems I know I am not alone
my hope is carrying me, in God’s arms I’m free

Without you, what will I do, life is strange and new
I recall your laughter ringing through these rooms
I still hear the voice that was gone from me too soon
my home seems so empty, yet part of you lives in me

Once You’re Gone

Dedicated in memory of Linda Sue Cantrell and Douglas Lee Duncan.

On the 3rd of February of 2004, my best friend passed away
I found out a few days later, I didn’t get to tell him goodbye
though I knew he’d been sick, the news took me by surprise

After years of battling cancer, his body gave up on the fight
when I visit our favorite places I think of his humorous style
and when his loss hits me, I can’t help but break down and cry

What happens once you’re gone, is there somewhere you go
are you suspended in time, what about the ones left behind
we must find ways to carry on, hold onto what makes us strong
figure out where we belong, life still goes on, once we’re gone
On the 16th day of June of 2004, my dear aunt passed away
I found out just moments later, I didn’t get to tell her goodbye
though I knew she’d been sick, the news took me by surprise

After months of battling cancer, her body gave up on the fight
when I look at pictures of her, I see that twinkling of her eyes
and when her loss hits me, I can’t help but break down and cry

Can they see me, can they hear me as I go about my daily life
as I whisper my quiet prayers to the One Who dwells up there
do they even know just how much I love and miss them so
are they watching from the heavens, listening from the clouds
are they somewhere far away, will I see them again someday

Never Feel That Way Again, Part One

The things I experienced with you I hadn’t known with anyone else
those first few weeks we shared when our relationship was so new
before we ever made love together, I just can’t forget those moments
or how I felt when you were near or the way you said I made you feel

The words we said to each other, the way we touched and kissed
as if we would never be able to let go and I’ll never feel that way again
not like the way I felt with you, no one else will ever touch my heart
in that special way that you did, you made me feel wanted
you made me feel I was loved for the first time in my life

I felt that I truly mattered to someone, I believed that someone really cared
about me and that I was the woman you desired to spend your life with
But what did I do to lose your love, what did I say to turn you away
how could you tell me you loved me and let me fall in love with you
then take everything away from me and leave me all alone once again
as if we’d never even met, as if all we’d shared meant nothing

Where did I go wrong with you, why did you choose to reject me
instead of loving me forever, if I was the wonderful woman
you told me I was, you wouldn’t have been able to stop yourself
from coming to be with me, but it didn’t seem hard for you
like it was for me, not to see you, how could I be beautiful and sexy

How could I be smart and funny, how could I be talented and kind
and not always be on your mind, am I doomed and destined to
continually be rejected by men, will I ever find one who is unable
to live his life without me around or will they always want sex, yet
never want to be in love with me, I’m tired of being only desired
but never being genuinely loved, I’m worth so much more than that

I have so much more to offer and I need a man who will be honest
with me when he says he loves me, do you realize how much it hurts
to know I’m not the woman you made me believe I was to you
Why did you make such beautiful love to me if you didn’t love me
you treated me just like a queen, it was a fairy tale, story book romance
all the sweet, little love notes and gifts, with thoughtful inscriptions
all those mementos are what you gave to me, to remember you by

Never Feel That Way Again, Part Two

You tried so hard to win me over and for what, for nothing at all
no one else was ever so good to me or complimented me like you did
or listened to me and understood, the way that you always seemed to
I wish I’d never found out how love could be, if I was only going to lose it
I’ve waited all of my life for someone like you to come along and show me
what being valued was all about and now that I know, what good
does it do me to have learned it, whenever it has simply disappeared

Who will care about me in the end, who is concerned with how I feel
who thinks that my feelings matter, you did something no one else ever
could accomplish before you came along, you managed to find a place inside my heart
but now you don’t even seem to care and I am left to become even more skeptical
than I ever was before about true love, it was difficult to trust anyone before
and it will be even more difficult now, yet I wish you happiness and joy in life

I just wish that I could have been enough for you, the woman you were
searching for and dreaming of all along, I’m sorry that I wasn’t that woman
I wanted so badly to be her and to spend the rest of my life with you
I was so captivated by you and I still believe we would have been happy
together had we stayed together, I’ll always wonder what might’ve been
and I hope somewhere deep inside of your heart, you did truly love me
even if it was only for one second, I don’t think I’ll ever meet another
who is as remarkable as you are, no one will ever compare to you

You are definitely an original man and the woman who ends up with
you at long last, will be so blessed, I just hope she will appreciate you
for who you really are inside and that she will deserve your love
I thought that I did, but I guess I was so wrong to think for one
moment that a woman like me could ever have a man like you
maybe I’m not worthy because I’m certainly not perfect, I have
so many flaws, which I thought you looked past, evidently those
imperfections are what drove you in the opposite direction from me

I apologize for letting you down and for being such a disappointment to you, for not meeting the expectations you may have had of me, forgive me just remember, I really loved you and I wanted to have something special and beautiful with you, because you were the man I’d always