Flickers by Michelle Manese (books recommended by bts .TXT) 📖

STARS BURNED.

--
I can't hold on to this forever

I'm in a sick winding road

Too many paths to turn

I don't know which one to take

I can't hold on to you forever

With each day I know the pain grows more and more

Will my tears ever subside?

It's not like you said goodbye

But what happened is much worse

Because it was clearly obvious

What are those freaking words for?

What are those sweet nothings for?

I knew it

I knew it from the start

But why did I ever let myself

Be blinded on what I want to happen?

I can't even cry anymore

I can't even scream

My words flow like a raging stream

I've build my own coffin

I dug my own grave

I feel like I've written my last will

I felt like I'm dying

It feels like every star had burned to ash

It feels like my every pen had lost its ink

It feels like the sky was never clear

And what happened was my greatest fear

I don't know how to end this

End this like you did

My photo was still with you

But your heart was nowhere near

--------
JUST a TASTE OF LOVE

--
I was destined to live a monotonous life

Wake up at four in the morning

And sleep at eight at night

And forever be just as boring

Live a life full of stage fright

An existence not worth a story

Tick-tock, tick-tock

I listened intently at the ticking of the clock

That is when he passed by

And that's the time he caught my eye

He changed my life forever

I voluntarily strike a pose

I won't complain if we'll start over

His existence is not worth just a prose

He loved me for a minute

And he told me that he will and it's for a lifetime

He did stay for a minute

But now he left our life hanging on the line

He looks at me like as if I pierced his soul

He looks at me like as if it's his heart I stole

But in reality, it wasn't me, it's him

He's the one that made me love him then left me alone standing

And I was back to my monotonous life

I was back to where I started

I promise myself I won't cry

When I remember the time you left

--------
STEEP

--
It's worse than being hit by a truck

It's like a lightning struck directly to the heart

It's worse than stammering in front of your crush

It's like being stuck in traffic when you're in a rush

It's like diving underwater without an oxygen tank

Like no harness on a bungee jump

Like cliff diving for infinity

It's like missing the feel of sanity

Like running underwater

Or flying down under

Like reading a book without words

Everything feels so absurd

All of these is nothing compared to what you did

You left me standing in deserted place

Then left me in the middle to be a memory then fade

And you walk away to your own world and sleep

While I'm left alone with my world appearing steep

------

LABYRINTH

--
Will I once again enter this maze of confusion?

If that I was stuck and took too long to escape

Will I once again be caught by a branch,

And be hugged by the darkness of pain?

Will I? will I? will I?

Will I ever get rid of these things?

Love laughter, pain, somber

Will your coldness once again make me freeze?

It took ages for me to melt

And another decade to flow again

And now you're here again to trap me?

And here again to let me go?

After that will you even care?

The anger in your eyes makes me scared

Don't tell me you're sorry

'cause baby, its too late.

It won't matter anyway.

------

BITTERSWEET

--

It was a funny feeling

…a bittersweet kind of feeling.

Like a hot and burning piece of metal in my chest

…though my tears extinguish everything

Like a star you look and graze upon

…seems too close to reach but in reality

…always too far

Like missing the bus for two seconds

Or like writing in language you're not familiar of

Like trying to believe to something we rarely believe in

Or like trying to rhyme when you really can't

Like trying to see the wind

Trying to liquefy a rock

Like trying to understand.

Everything is possible

Possible but unfair

Try to learn the bittersweet essence

To not love someone

Who never appreciated your presence.

------

Pretenses.

--
Even if you kiss me, it won't feel so right.
Even if you hug me, it won't be too tight
Even if you hit me, I won't start a fight
I won't let the wound you caused me, damage my mind

Even if you pull me down,
I will still try to touch the sky
I won't be the one who wears a frown,
nor the one who heaves a sigh.

You always told me you love me,
yet your heart was never mine
I know you'll never look at me lovingly,
So whats the point if I try?

And when you said that bittersweet goodbye,
I told myself that I wouldn't let you see me cry.
Since I lost half of me because of this so-called 'you and I'
I promise myself that baby, I'll cry for the last time.

------

She is your pot of gold.

--
Give her a thousand roses, for all I care
Serenade her on top of your lungs
Kiss her as long as you can
And love her with all the heart you have left

Open her doors for her
Be the perfect gentleman
Steal sugar-coated glances
And be her number one fan

Love her with all your heart left
I can’t change what your heart already felt
Hold her hand all the time
Claim her heart, and don’t let her cry

Climb a rainbow
Catch all the rain
Trap a lightning in a bottle
Do the impossible things

Color the sky green
Wash the oceans red
Loving you is possible
But looking at it doesn’t seem real

------

Of feelings in denial.

--

You can't fight a feeling,
it's worse in denial.

You can't help the flutter,
of your heart when he passes by.

You can't help getting weak in the knees,
when he's in your line of vision.

You can't help but shut up,
when he's just there staring.

You can never help but smile back,
when he smiles at you.
You can't stop dreaming,
knowing he's in it with you.

You can't stop a feeling from growing strong,
You can't stop a feeling,
even when you know there's something wrong.

You can't fight a feeling,
especially if you don't want to.

Even for the sake of sanity,
you know you just don't want to.

------

Nothing else but you.

--

What a gloomy day it has been,
So tiring, too infuriating
Work has been piling up,
And so are my problems,
I can’t seem to get my bad luck to stop.
I don’t know what else to do
Nor what else to think about
I think I’m on the verge of insanity.
But when I saw your smile,
It all changed.
Your smile was downright infectious.
It made me want to go still.

When I saw your eyes twinkle,
I felt my heart skip a beat.
And when I heard your voice,
Or even just your lowest whisper,
It made my day grow a little brighter.

I can’t explain what your effect to me is,
But I don’t even want to know.
Promise me one thing though,
That when the day is rough,
or when life gets tough
Would you be there to help me through?
‘Cause right now when I’m feeling so blue,
There’s nothing more that makes me all okay,
Nothing else but you

------

He'll never know.

--

He'll never know the way I look at him.
He'll never see how I savor every moment spent with him.
He'll never know how his smile lingers, nor does he know I'm wrapped around his finger.
He'll never know how I'd want to run my fingers through his hair,
He'll never know how I'd occasionally stare.
He'll never know how much I love him,
since he's too blinded by her affection.
He's too lost in her eyes,
just like me in his.
He's too dazed to even care about the world around him,
He's too busy to know I'm here.
He'll never know how my heart breaks into pieces,
he'll never know how much I suffer in trying to put them back together.
He'll never know since he's too dense;
too oblivious, he's just not there to care.

And so, I'd wipe my tears;
I'd plaster a smile,
I'd muffle an inner scream,
I'd try to calm my mind.
I'd try to be as dense as he is,
because that's the only way the pain will subside.
I'd do all these yet he'll never know,
He'll never know.

------

Done.

--

I think it's time
Time to stop wondering if you're okay
specifically, if you're still alive

Time to stop wondering what I've done wrong.
specifically, why on earth I chose you
Why of all people I chose you
...you to break my heart.

It's not my fault I trusted you
...it's your fault to act as though I could.

It's not my fault I've loved you
...but it definitely is your fault for letting me see that I could.

Sad to see this is how it ends
sad to say this is something that's hard to mend.
I think it's time to take a breather,
to think it through,
to find myself again.

You made me lose direction
...naive of me not to notice.

You made me see the world a little differently
...that my HAPPINESS does not, and will never rely on someone else's.

And now I'm done.
With you,
and everything you've held me back onto.

I'm done.

------

There are things.

--

There are things you don't want to do
But you do because of other people
Fame
Pressure
Lust
Why can't it be love?
There are things you never wanted to hear
But you do because they want you to
Doubt
Self-esteem
Security
Why can't it be love?
There are things you never wanted to witness
But you do because they tell you to look
Fear
Angst
Loss
Why can't it be love?
There are roads we never wanted to take
But we do because it's the