The Songs of a Sentimental Bloke by Clarence James Dennis (novels to read TXT) 📖

To Mr and Mrs J. G. Roberts



La vie est vaine:
Un peu d'amour,
Un peu de haine...
Et puis--bonjour!

La vie est breve:
Un peu d'espoir,
Un peu de reve...
Et puis--bonsoir!

Leon Montenaeken


Foreword

My young friend Dennis has honoured me with a request to write a preface to his book. I think a man can best write a preface to his own book, provided he knows it is good. Also if he knows it is bad.

"The Sentimental Bloke", while running through the Bulletin, brightened up many dark days for me. He is more perfect than any alleged "larrikin" or Bottle-O character I have ever attempted to sketch, not even excepting my own beloved Benno. Take the first poem for instance, where the Sentimental Bloke gets the hump. How many men, in how many different parts of the world--and of how many different languages--have had the same feeling--the longing for something better--to be something better?

The exquisite humour of The Sentimental Bloke speaks for itself; but there's a danger that its brilliance may obscure the rest, especially for minds, of all stations, that, apart from sport and racing, are totally devoted to boiling


"The cabbitch storks or somethink"


in this social "pickle found-ery" of ours.

Doreen stands for all good women, whether down in the smothering alleys or up in the frozen heights. And so, having introduced the little woman (they all seem "little" women), I "dips me lid"-- and stand aside.

HENRY LAWSON
SYDNEY, 1st September, 1915.

Contents


I. A SPRING SONG
The world 'as got me snouted jist a treat;...

II. THE INTRO
'Er name's Doreen...Well, spare me bloomin' days!...

III. THE STOUSH O' DAY
Ar, these is 'appy days! An' 'ow they've flown--...

IV. DOREEN
I wish't yeh meant it, Bill." Oh, 'ow me 'eart...

V. THE PLAY
"Wot's in a name?" she sez... An' then she sighs,...

VI. THE STROR 'AT COOT
Ar, wimmin! Wot a blinded fool I've been!...

VII. THE SIREN
She sung a song, an' I sat silent there....

VIII. MAR
"'Er pore dear Par," she sez, "'e kept a store";...

IX. PILOT COVE
"Young friend," 'e sez...Young friend! Well, spare me days!...

X. HITCHED
"An'--wilt--yeh--take--this--woman--fer--to--be--...

XI. BEEF TEA
She never magged; she never said no word;...

XII. UNCLE JIM
"I got no time fer wasters, lad," sez 'e,...

XIII. THE KID
My son!...Them words, jist like a blessed song,...

XIV. THE MOOCH O' LIFE
This ev'nin' I was sittin' wiv Doreen,...

THE GLOSSARY

I. A Spring Song


The world 'as got me snouted jist a treat;
Crool Forchin's dirty left 'as smote me soul;
An' all them joys o' life I 'eld so sweet
Is up the pole.
Fer, as the poit sez, me 'eart 'as got
The pip wiv yearnin' fer--I dunno wot.

I'm crook; me name is Mud; I've done me dash;
Me flamin' spirit's got the flamin' 'ump!
I'm longin' to let loose on somethin' rash....
Aw, I'm a chump!
I know it; but this blimed ole Springtime craze
Fair outs me, on these dilly, silly days.

The young green leaves is shootin' on the trees,
The air is like a long, cool swig o' beer,
The bonzer smell o' flow'rs is on the breeze,
An' 'ere's me, 'ere,
Jist moochin' round like some pore, barmy coot,
Of 'ope, an' joy, an' forchin destichoot.

I've lorst me former joy in gettin' shick,
Or 'eadin' browns; I 'aven't got the 'eart
To word a tom; an', square an' all,
I'm sick of that cheap tart
'Oo chucks 'er carkis at a feller's 'ead
An' mauls 'im...Ar! I wish't that I wus dead!...

Ther's little breezes stirrin' in the leaves,
An' sparrers chirpin' 'igh the 'ole day long;
An' on the air a sad, sweet music breaves
A bonzer song--
A mournful sorter choon thet gits a bloke
Fair in the brisket 'ere, an' makes 'im choke ...

What is the matter wiv me?...I dunno.
I got a sorter yearnin' 'ere inside,
A dead-crook sorter thing that won't let go
Or be denied--
A feelin' like I want to do a break,
An' stoush creation for some woman's sake.

The little birds is chirpin' in the nest,
The parks an' gardings is a bosker sight,
Where smilin' tarts walks up an' down, all dressed
In clobber white.
An', as their snowy forms goes steppin' by,
It seems I'm seekin' somethin' on the sly.

Somethin' or someone--I don't rightly know;
But, seems to me, I'm kind er lookin' for
A tart I knoo a 'undred years ago,
Or, maybe, more.
Wot's this I've 'eard them call that thing?...Geewhizz!
Me ideel bit o' skirt! That's wot it is!

Me ideel tart!... An', bli'me, look at me!
Jist take a squiz at this, an' tell me can
Some square an' honist tom take this to be
'Er own true man?
Aw, Gawd! I'd be as true to 'er, I would
As straight an' stiddy as...Ar, wot's the good?

Me, that 'as done me stretch fer stoushin' Johns,
An' spen's me leisure gittin' on the shick,
An' 'arf me nights down there, in Little Lon.,
Wiv Ginger Mick,
Jist 'eadin' 'em, an' doing in me gilt.
Tough luck! I s'pose it's 'ow a man is built.

It's 'ow Gawd builds a bloke; but don't it 'urt
When 'e gits yearnin's fer this 'igher life,
On these Spring mornin's, watchin' some sweet skirt
Some fucher wife--
Go sailin' by, an' turnin' on his phiz
The glarssy eye--fer bein' wot 'e is.


I've watched 'em walkin' in the gardings 'ere
Cliners from orfices an' shops an' such;
The sorter skirts I dursn't come too near,
Or dare to touch.
An, when I see the kind er looks they carst...
Gorstrooth! Wot is the use o' me, I arst?

Wot wus I slung 'ere for? An wot's the good
Of yearnin' after any ideel tart?...
Ar, if a bloke wus only understood!
'E's got a 'eart:
'E's got a soul inside 'im, poor or rich.
But wot's the use, when 'Eaven's crool'd 'is pitch?

I tells meself some day I'll take a pull
An' look eround fer some good, stiddy job,
An' cut the push fer good an' all; I'm full
Of that crook mob!
An', in some Spring the fucher 'olds in store,
I'll cop me prize an' long in vain no more.

The little winds is stirrin' in the trees,
Where little birds is chantin' lovers' lays;
The music of the sorft an' barmy breeze...
Aw, spare me days!
If this 'ere dilly feelin' doesn't stop
I'll lose me block an' stoush some flamin' cop!



II. The Intro


'Er name's Doreen ...Well spare me bloomin' days!
You could er knocked me down wiv 'arf a brick!
Yes, me, that kids meself I know their ways,
An' 'as a name for smoogin' in our click!
I just lines up an' tips the saucy wink.
But strike! The way she piled on dawg! Yer'd think
A bloke was givin' back-chat to the Queen....
'Er name's Doreen.

I seen 'er in the markit first uv all,
Inspectin' brums at Steeny Isaacs' stall.
I backs me barrer in--the same ole way--
An' sez, "Wot O! It's been a bonzer day.
'Ow is it fer a walk?"...Oh, 'oly wars!
The sorter look she gimme! Jest becors
I tried to chat 'er, like you'd make a start
Wiv ANY tart.

An' I kin take me oaf I wus perlite.
An' never said no word that wasn't right,
An' never tried to maul 'er, or to do
A thing yeh might call crook. Ter tell yeh true,
I didn't seem to 'ave the nerve--wiv 'er.
I felt as if I couldn't go that fur,
An' start to sling off chiack like I used...
Not INTRAJUICED!

Nex' time I sighted 'er in Little Bourke,
Where she was in a job. I found'er lurk
Wus pastin' labels in a pickle joint,
A game that--any'ow, that ain't the point.
Once more I tried ter chat 'er in the street,
But, bli'me! Did she turn me down a treat!
The way she tossed 'er 'cad an' swished 'er skirt!
Oh, it wus dirt!

A squarer tom, I swear, I never seen,
In all me natchril, than this 'ere Doreen.
It