Violets Are Blue by Alex Joseph (heaven official's blessing novel english TXT) 📖

Naive?
You can't just tell a person with anorexia to just eat. You can not just tell a depressed person to just smile.

That's like telling a paralyzed person to just get up and walk. Or tellin me to cut myself and then stop bleeding.

I am not myself anymore.

I just want some peace.

People always say be yourself….

But more like be yourself with a couple altercations.

And guess what I am doing….I am doing just they say……I am becoming the monster in my own body.

I don't even know myself anymore…

 

I am becoming who I am not.

 

Open When You Miss Me

 

I miss you too. I probably miss you more than I realized I will. But what I also realized is that distance gives me a reason to love harder, you know? Your absence is going to affect me, my whole being.. I am used to having your obnoxious noisy, immature self around me for the past 6-7 years? Is it  or 7? Whatever it is, I am used to you so not having you around is really going to throw me off. Just a little bit. When I first met you I didn't think you would this important to me. Like when I realized it i was like whoa…..this guy.

But I told myself that it's not going to be hard but then again it's not going to be easy. Waiting is hard, I mean I hate waiting. Like hate it. But if it means finding myself, being free for a second, then I will be willing to do it. I get to come back to you and the ones I love when i am done. I will wait forever. As long as it takes. Someone once told me that distance is hard but it's also not impossible either.

I think for me that the first couple of days or weeks are going to be the hardest because i just said see you later to everyone and i am going off on my own for a while. I don't know about you. But they will definitely be hard for me. No one will ever know how much i cried that day. That day when I had to say see you later cause I don't like saying good bye. Goodbye means forever. And Goodbye means forgetting. And that's the last thing i want you to do. Is to forget me. So i don't like saying goodbye. I would rather say until we meet again or i'll see you later. Cause that's more like it. I am not going to be gone forever. So, try not to miss me too much.

But if you do miss me, just know I miss you too. A lot. Probably the person I will miss the most. Don't tell no one that cause then they are going to be like “oh my god i thought she missed me” blah blah blah. I’m just kidding. Tell the world. I will miss them too but…...yeah. :)

But I do miss you, not in some cheesy lets hold hands and skip around the park kind of way. I just miss you. Plain and simple. I miss your presence in my life. I can go days without talking to you, even months without seeing you but to be honest with you, not a second goes by where i'm not thinking about you. You realize how much you truly miss a person when something happens, either good or bad, and the only person you want to tell is the one person….who isn't. You know you miss someone when you crave to hear their voice. I don't know how long it's been since i heard it but I wish i could hear it. I know that's weird but…..you will understand later.

 

I miss you too.

 

I can't really say anything else…..

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Publication Date: 09-28-2016

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