mixed emotions by Sierra Farmer (reading fiction txt) 📖

different because i won’t change at all Tick Tock

Is it time

Tick tick

Can I leave?

When is it over?

Ring

One day done

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday

Everyday is torture

Do I have to?

Noo I am sick

Please

Let me stay home

School

Staring at the clock

Getting more antsy during lunch

What’s going to happen today

Am I going to be the girl lurking with aids

Or the slut who has lost her virginity three times

Tick tick

Time for lunch

Time to see everyone laughing and smiling

All I feel like is crying

Slut with aids her lurks around all day

Holding in tears that will not fade

Ring

Another day done

But it starts all over again

Truth Or Lie

All the stress

What a mess

I just scream out in distress

I just stand there with my smile

Holding it in

Fading darker and darker into the abyss

I want to scream for help

but what do I need

The build up

am I ok

Why always that question?

Do you really care?

Do you really want to know?

I could answer honestly or just lie

Which would you rather?

The smile and i’m fine

or the no i’m not fine

I’m getting sick

Picking out every little thing I should say

Just a day I would like to say

the truth

anger, pain, sadness, stress

All these words describe how I am feeling

So no i’m not fine

Who’s That

I see a person in front of me

All black and dark

I see a person in front of me

Who could it be

It mirrors my movements

copying everything I do

I see a person in front of me

I stop moving looking closer

Oh my

I see a person in front of me

I see myself

I’m standing in front of a mirror

I see my reflection

I am  so shocked

This can’t be me who am I staring at

The color returns to my body

I realize who I am

I realize who I was

I see a person in front of me

Who happens to be me

Should It Matter

should it matter

Who I am

It doesn't matter if I'm black or white

should it matter to me

weather I am this or that

Should it matter to me weather I am

Gay, straight, bisexual

I think it matters

I get to confused

My family is cool

but

i don't know weather I am gay, straight, bisexual

I want to know

i want to be comfortable with who I am

but

who am I?

Questions

comfortable?

yes

Home?

yes

Happy?

Yes

Does sexuality change that?

No

Mom?

Yes

Loving family?

Yes

Friends?

Yes

Does being who you are change that?

No

Warmth?

Yes

Bed?

Yes

Confusion?

Yes

Should I be punished?

No

Different?

Yes

Weird?

Maybe

Cool?

Hopefully

I am who I am except it

Yes, No, Maybe

Hopefully

Whats A Poem

whats a poem

for it does not have to ryme all the time

whats a poem

for not all are the same

whats a poem

there are billions of different kinds

whats a poem to me

is what I see and feel

Whats a poem

Is what a writer believes is a poem

Whats a poem

Its a descriptive fun way of expressing non repressing way of writing

Writers Block

Words refuse to flow

The paper just grows

Thoughts on crumpled paper

Words are a no show

Emptiness

Wordless

Words with no meaning

Complications

Being so stuck

Words refuse to show

But with no end to my

Trying

Paper shrinks

Words begin to appear

Crumpled papers

Dissapear

So thin air

To represent the words

That refused to show

I am me I am Found

Haters-hate

Lovers-love

Beaters-beat

but what do i do?

Savers-save

Changers-change

Keepers-keep

so should i have to?

Discriminators-descriminate

Organizers-organize

Writers-write

Should i be confined to one classification?

Maybe i'm more than one

Or maybe i'm none

because

Haters-hate

Lovers-love

And

Beaters-beat

But I am me and 

I do me and I am

Not a hater nor a beater

I am purely my own

And my own is me

Imprint

Text: sierra farmer
Publication Date: 07-30-2013

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
to all the people who made me feel so many different emotions