Looking Through My Eyes by Kayla Stiles (english readers TXT) 📖

those bright, malicious red eyes,

And await your doom.

Unknown

Unknown

4/10/12

 

Do you see what I see,

When I look in the mirror?

NO!

Do you see the pain I feel,

Every time you turn from me?

Never!

You can never know me

As well as you think you do.

For how could you

When you’re gutless and cursed?

How could you possibly

See what I see every day,

When you don’t even care?

You can never see me

For who I am.

For who I am,

Is a deadly monster

That will kill you

With one glance into my eyes.

These cold, heartless eyes

That I open every morning

And close every night.

You could never see

The monster that I truly am,

For angels only see goodness.

They never see the truth.

All of you believe in nothing but the good!

Why do you never see things

For what they really are?

It’s all an illusion you see.

This beautiful creature that you think is me

Really is just a mirage.

It’s all a big façade.

In truth, I’m a monster.

I try to be there for people,

Try to love others,

So as to cover up my many flaws,

To hide my inadequacies.

I’m a selfish being who would,

More than likely, in the event of the choice

Between my life,

And the life of another,

I’d take the life of another…

Because I’m just that mean…

I don’t trust myself,

And I don’t love myself.

These are my unknown secrets…

I’m a monster.

Don’t trust me…

Why Am I Crying?

Why am I Crying?

5/12/14

11:53 pm

 

Why am I crying? For some stupid reason again?

Or for a good reason for once?

Why do these tears threaten to slip from my glossy eyes,

And trickle down my cheeks?

I feel pain inside… For reasons untold.

I feel pain outside… For feelings unseen.

I feel loss, and despair, and a darkening of my thoughts.

But what for? What brought this on today?

Is it the loneliness that I feel?

That which only is risen by the lack of contact?

Is it the sorrow that’s seemingly gripped my soul

With a cast-iron clench?

Or is it something else?

Something unforeseen and untold of?

I don’t know anymore.

I know I feel alone, but for why I cannot tell.

I know I feel empty, hollow,

But for why I cannot see.

Can anybody help me? Or is this mine to fight alone?

Imprint

Text: Kayla Stiles
Editing: Elinor Skinner and Tatyana Jackson
Publication Date: 05-10-2014

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
This goes out to the one I wanted to spend my life with, my ex boyfriend, Edward Dimmick... If it weren't for you breaking it off with me and just giving up on me, I probably wouldn't be sharing this with my fellow self-mutilators. Thank you...