A very interesting statement of one of our contemporaries is that any person, to one degree or another, is both a psychologist and a philosopher - they say, life forces him to. On the one hand, the main driving force of every person is the craving for knowledge, the desire to reach certain social heights, the desire to be wise in any everyday situations - and this is the philosophy of life. How to Analyze People on Sight by Elsie Lincoln Benedict (best contemporary novels txt) 📖
- Author: Elsie Lincoln Benedict
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"People who can not play together will not work together long," said Elbert Hubbard. Human Analysis, which shows that each type tends automatically to the doing of certain things in certain ways whenever free to act, proves that this is just as literal as it sounds.
The only time we are free to act is during our leisure hours. All other hours are mortgaged to earning a living—in the accomplishment of which we often have very little outlet for natural trends. So it is only "after hours" and "over Sundays" that the masses of mankind have an opportunity to express their real natures.
¶ The less one's work permits him to do the things he enjoys the more surely will he turn to them in the hours when this restraint is removed. If such a one has a husband or wife who encourages him in the following of his natural bents during leisure hours, that marriage stands a big chance of being happy.
These two people may differ widely in their respective religious ideas—one may be a Catholic, the other a Protestant, or one a Shaker and the other a Christian Scientist—but they can build lasting happiness together.
On the other hand, two people who agree perfectly as to religious, social and political views but who can not agree as to the disposition of their leisure hours are bound for the rocks.
As the honeymoon fades, each reverts to the kind of recreation congenial to his type. If his mate is averse to his diversions each goes his own way.
¶ The tragedy of "the other man" and "the other woman" is not a mystery to him who understands Human Analysis. It is always the result of finding some one of kindred standards and tastes—that is, some one whose type is congenial. The Eternal Triangle arises again and again in human lives, not accidentally, but as the inevitable result of violating inexorable laws.
¶ MARRIAGE SHOULD TAKE PLACE ONLY BETWEEN THOSE WHOSE FIRST TYPE-ELEMENTS ARE SUFFICIENTLY SIMILAR FOR THEM TO ENJOY THE SAME GENERAL DIVERSIONS, YET WHOSE SECOND TYPE-ELEMENTS ARE SUFFICIENTLY DISSIMILAR TO MAKE EACH STRONG WHERE THE OTHER IS WEAK.
¶ The application of the law to each of the five types will be explained in the following sections of this chapter.
¶ Just as each type reacts differently to all the other situations in life, each reacts differently to love.
The Alimentive, as we have pointed out, is less mature than the other types, with the Thoracic next, and so on down to the Cerebral which is the most mature of all. Because the Alimentive has rightly been called "the baby of the race;" because no extremely fat person ever really grows up, this type prefers those love-expressions natural to the immature.
¶ Caressing, petting, fondling and cuddling—those demonstrations not of wild passion but of affection such as children enjoy—are most often used by Alimentive men and women when in love.
¶ Because they are inclined to bestow little attentions more or less promiscuously, they often get the reputation of being flirtatious when they are not. Such actions also are often taken by the one to whom they are directed as indicating more than the giver means.
So beware of taking the little pats of fat people too seriously. They mean well, but have the baby's habit of bestowing innocent smiles and caresses everywhere.
¶ Each type has traits peculiar to itself which tend to make others fall in love with it. In the Alimentive the outstanding trait which wins love is his sweet disposition.
The human ego is so constituted that we tend to like all interesting people who do not offer us opposition. The Alimentive is amenable, affable, agreeable. His ready smile, his tendency to promote harmony and his general geniality bring him love and keep it for him while more clever types lose it.
¶ "Why does a brilliant business man marry that little fat woman who is not his equal mentally?" the world has asked many a time. Human Analysis answers it, as it answers so many of the other age-long queries about human eccentricities.
¶ The little fat woman has a sweet disposition—one of the most soothing of human attributes. The business man has enough of "brilliant" people all day. When he gets home he is rather inclined to be merely the "tired business man," and in that state nothing is more agreeable than a wife with a smile.
¶ As for fat husbands, many a wife supports them in preference to being supported by another and less agreeable man.
¶ When a woman becomes engaged her friends all inquire, "What does he do?" but when a man's engagement is announced every one asks, "What does she look like?" So it is small wonder that men have placed prettiness near the top of the list, and the Alimentive woman is the prettiest of all types. This little fact must not be overlooked when searching for the causes which have prompted so many of the world's wealthiest men to marry them. Other men may have to content themselves with plain wives, but the man of means can pick and choose—and every man prefers a pretty wife to a plain one.
Feminine prettiness (not beauty) consists of the rose-bud mouth, the baby eyes, the cute little nose, the round cheeks, the dimpled chin, etc.—all more or less monopolized by the Alimentive type.
¶ The fat woman's refusal to worry keeps the wrinkles away and as long as she does not become obese she remains attractive. Her "clinging-vine" ways make men call her the most "womanly" type, and even when she tips the scales at two hundred and fifty they are still for her. Then they say "she looks so motherly."
So the fat woman goes through life more loved by men than any other type, and in old age she presents a picture of calmness and domestic serenity that is appealing to everybody.
¶ Being in demand, the Alimentive woman marries earlier than any other type. As a widow the same demand takes her off the marriage market while younger and brainier women pine their lives away in spinsterhood.
Look back and you will recall that it was the pretty, plump girls who had beaux earliest, married earliest, and who, even when left with several children, did not remain widows long.
¶ Next to her sweet disposition, the traits which make the Alimentive wife most pleasant to get along with are serenity, optimism and good cooking.
¶ Many an Alimentive wife loses her husband's love because of her too easy-going habits. Unless controlled, these lead to slovenliness in personal appearance and housekeeping.
¶ The Alimentive wife usually has her share of the family income because she has the endearing ways that wring it out of hubby.
Sales people everywhere say, "We like to see a fat woman coming, for she usually has money, spends it freely and is easy to please."
¶ What they do with their quarrels after they are through with them determines to a great extent the ultimate success of any pair's marriage. Alimentive husbands and wives bury the hatchet sooner than other types and they avoid altercations.
¶ The Alimentive wife offers less resistance to her husband's plans than any other. So when he announces they are moving to some other neighborhood, city or state she acquiesces with better grace than other types.
¶ The responsibility of adding new friends to the family rests equally upon each partner in marriage. The average husband, by reason of mingling more with the world, has the greater opportunity, but every wife can and should consider that she owes it to herself, her husband and her children to contribute her quota.
Alimentive husbands and wives add their share of new acquaintances to any marriage in which they are partners. The Alimentive wife always enjoys having people in to dinner and the Alimentive husband enjoys bringing them. The warmth of hospitality in Alimentive homes brings them more friendships than come to other types.
¶ The fat man marries young, but for a different reason than the fat woman. The fat man, as you will note, "gets a job" early in life. From that time on his services seldom go begging.
He makes a good salary earlier than other types and is therefore sooner in a position to marry.
¶ Just as the fat woman is "a man's woman," so the fat man is almost invariably "a ladies' man." The fat man usually "knows women" better than any other type and it is certain that the fat woman "knows men." Her record proves it.
¶ Just as there are few fat "old maids," there are few fat bachelors. You can count on the fingers of one hand all the really overweight ones you ever knew.
¶ Because he makes money easily through the various forms of his superior business qualifications, the average fat man has plenty of money for his family and likes to spend it upon them. He is the best provider of all the types. Fat people are the most lenient parents and usually over-indulge their children.
The husband who makes a habit for years of sending home crates of the first strawberries, melons and oranges of the season is a fat one every time.
¶ His generous provision for his family and the fact that he is essentially a "family man" are two desirable traits of the Alimentive husband. He depends more on his home than other types, he marries young to have a home and he is seldom farther away from it than he has to be.
It is unfortunate that the one type which makes the best "travelling man" is more inconvenienced by the absence from home than any other type would be. But he has not submitted silently. All the world knows what a "hard life" the traveling salesman leads and how he misses "the wife, the kids and the good home cooking."
¶ The Alimentive husband has but one weakness that materially endangers his marital happiness. He is inclined to be too easy and extravagant, and not to save money.
¶ Because of his amenability the Alimentive can marry almost any type and be happy. But for fullest happiness, those who are predominantly Alimentive—that is, those in whom the Alimentive type comes first—should marry, as a first choice, those who are predominantly Muscular. The Muscular shares the Alimentive's ambition to "get on in the world" and at the same time adds to the union the practicality which offsets the too easy-going, lackadaisical tendencies of the Alimentive.
The second choice for the predominantly Alimentive should be the one who is predominantly Thoracic. These two types have much in common. The brilliance and speed of the Thoracic keeps the Alimentive "looking to his laurels," and thus tends to prevent the carelessness which is so great a handicap to the predominantly Alimentive.
The third choice of the predominantly Alimentive may be one who is also predominantly Alimentive, but in that case it should be an Alimentive-Muscular or an Alimentive-Cerebral.
The last type the pure Alimentive should ever marry is the pure Cerebral.
¶ The Thoracic in love exhibits the same general traits which characterize him in all his other relationships.
¶ The Thoracic woman is the most beautiful
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