Just a face in a crowd by Carl Goodman (book series to read txt) 📖

This may probably be the hardest and most truthful story your logic has ever had the pleasure to divulge. Why? Because you will read and you will feel and note the amount of love, hope, joy and compassion you have and the amount of hurt, ignorance, denial and hate you never knew you had. My name is Carl Goodman I am Married to a beautiful and wonderful women named Alison who I truly believe is my soul mate. I am 29 years old my D.O.B is 2/2/82. I am one of three sons born and raised by a strong, inspirational and wonderful women named Annette. My mum raised us on her own, on a rough council estate, We literally had no money and yet we still had a hot meal each and every day. My mum used to just pick a small amount off mine & my brothers plates, because there was usually just enough food for us children and we would ask mum where her meal was she would just simply smile and say “Im not hungry” being young and innocent we simply excepted mums answer and then forget about it, and lessons in my life since then has taught me that my mum would sooner go hungry than see her children starve. This is a memory Im sharing to make you aware that though her stomach suffered from shrinking and the hunger pains which must have been unbearable at times, she would refuse to allow this to dampen her soul & her spirit, she had done what any loving mother would have done. Instead she would have a joy and happiness in her heart knowing that we were fed and happy and as a result would make her happy and proud. She sacrificed food for love, my mum down right refused to report my father to the C.S.A on the account of that she never wanted a penny from him and it was simply down to his own free will that if he had an ounce of love and compassion in his body for not of the women who bared 3 of his children but maybe a love for my brothers and I, his guilt would surely nurture the sense of responsibility and not only make sure we had money for food but other necessities. I.E- clothes & shoes. As you are aware that children grow out of clothes and shoes within months even weeks….. But we never saw him for years.
Now This memory holds a huge significance to the key of what I believe to be our purpose and learning in the reality OF life. And of the pain and heartache from the reality IN life. And the secret is love & unity. We all face periods IN our lives that can bring us to our knees and this happens for this reason. Because when we are on our knees consumed with pain, heartache, anger and guilt and a state of nowhere to turn and see no way out, this is God relating to us for prayer. He knows of our decisions and mistakes we choose from our free will (our ability to think and make decisions independently). And is aware we need help and guidance in life, this is why no matter what wrong doings you have done and the pain you have caused unto others he will forgive YOU, he would never deny you his help, love and wisdom in fixing this. God would be so humbly proud and honoured that you turn to him for help than get lost in Satans distraction I.E for a phrase (oh well its done now, might as well forget about it) this is ignorance of what our purpose IN life is to teach us of The whole reality OF life, the bigger picture is more of a Blur with none of our 5 senses (sight, taste, hear, touch & smell) able to detect it so We refuse logically to comprehend, and We refuse to process something that is so simple! yet WE make it out to be beyond a possibility of a conceivable truth because our mind and thoughts wont except it. It just proves that we must see past the logic that what you process in your mind is just nonsense and tainted by Satan & now let us use the one tool that God gave us all, which is more powerful than all our physical senses and that is…. our heart. The heart is to each and every person your individual and personal attachment to God for love, help, support and compassion. This truly is an amazing gift to us. It enables us to care for those who are hurting. For you to Empathize for a fellow man and all though you could be full of joy & happiness and then feel the pain & sorrow of another. And then YOU CHOOSE (free will) to reassure them that everything will be just fine, lend them an ear, show them compassion and love. In doing this you have just changed that persons sadness and sorrow into hope and love and a sense of belonging. There is no greater reward knowing that YOU made that happen. To show them that you are concerned for them will never ever leave their heart and in return your heart is filled with even more joy. It would be easier for you to choose to ignore them because society accepts this. And you have your own problems and whilst your happy why should you CHOOSE to let them bring you down?? There is a verse in a song that holds more truth to our life and decisions, and that I believe should be taught to our children in the importance and effect that they could have on another life. Its by the black eyed peas the title is where is the love. The words are as follows


I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder
As I'm gettin' older, y'all, people gets colder
Most of us only care about money makin'
Selfishness got us followin' the wrong direction

Wrong information always shown by the media
Negative images is the main criteria
Infecting the young minds faster than bacteria
Kids wanna act like what they see in the cinema

Yo', whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness and equality
Instead of spreading love we're spreading animosity
Lack of understanding, leading lives away from unity

That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' under
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' down
There's no wonder why sometimes I'm feelin' under
Gotta keep my faith alive till love is found
And ask yourself

Where is the love?
Where is the love?
Where is the love?
Where is the love?

Father, Father, Father help us


This is just a short, but very true verse of a very real reality in the world of today. And as it said we have become to be this. But how? If you know of the illuminati then you have an understanding of just how satan has been working. I ask that you listen and take note of the whole song.

In the book of revalations the prophecy that is told is fast becoming more & more of a reality, if we look at what is fortold and make the comparison to the world of today, here & now is only what can be described as truth and not coincedence, We need to take our heads out of which we have burried in satans sands of distractions & deceptions (selfishness,greed, t.v, consoles, drugs & much more, too many to list) and away from the reality IN life. And its time to focus on the reality OF life. When I was a child id always had this intuition a knowing that I would be wealthy and successful, a few weeks ago at work in my little welding bay working hard for pittance wondering how I was going to make ends meet this month I just asked that intuition what had happened to him? and then like a force from a tsunami I heard my question answerd…..God asked what me relavence would it have?? Scared, shocked and confused I asked what he meant and he said what relavence would you benefit from having wealth with a big house with a big flash car you desprately need in your life?? And Then what would you want?? What of these riches could you bring with you when your time to leave this earth has arrived?, stumped for an answer he told me that my soul dont need materalistic values, i needed the hardship & struggles to gain the true answer to the most real & truest question…what is our purpose?. That I could be rich and sucessful materalisticly on the earth but this wasnt the teachings I needed in this lesson at this time. All these materalistic distractions on earth was just a test to make us see that we dont need them!… my logic had calculated my intuition was that I was going to be rich, But to have the love of our God is the most valuable and cherished sense of wealth & security you will ever need, THAT makes You the richest person in the world..we are all rich in the lords eyes because we have his love, and that holds more value than the big house, flash car all the money on the earth that We could have in the very short time we have here...

We have to scale the sentence on earth is merely an hour, compared to 100 years (eternity) in heaven, the kingdom of God. You have to be honest and open with God for you to gain a bond.. My whole life I have been doing what I thought was right in order to get through life, Following the sheep mentality. Ive done drugs, Ive slept with countless women Ive had fights and stolen (only a couple of times) & lied in order to help get what I wanted, but I am now willing to state that I DID WRONG. And i am willing to spend the rest of my time on earth to make it up to the people I have hurt for my own selfish pleasures, and for who i took with absolute disregard. For the hurt and effect it may have caused them and the impact & influence on there reality IN life. Above all else i will kneel at the feet of our lord and ask him to forgive me for the mistakes I made through no one elses faults but MY own, and and MY wrong decisions. You see, people always have a judgment on what they see & hear in others, we dont have any rites to this! How many people are willing to sit and judge there own actions and wrong decisions in there lives and no matter how shocking it is when you realise the effect it has caused. Its them decisions that helped to influence these outcomes. Some could have worked out for the best for that person.. But sadley in other cases it could have ruined there reality IN life, and steered them away from there true destiny. are you able to put right what you had wronged to that person?? No! but God is!! And he will do it to save us from sin. I cant really recall where I heard this phrase recently but it instantly reminded me it was something my mum used to say, these are words of