Life of St Teresa of Jesus by Teresa of Avila (paper ebook reader .TXT) 📖

our Lord to explain

these states of prayer, wherein the soul finds itself, with the

utmost clearness possible, I think, here on earth.

15. Do you, my father, discuss it with any spiritual person who

has arrived at this state, and is learned. If he says of it, it

is well, you may believe that God has spoken it, and you will

give thanks to His Majesty; for, as I said just now, [7] in the

course of time you will rejoice greatly in that you have

understood it. Meanwhile, if He does not allow you to understand

what it is, though He does give you the possession of it, yet,

with your intellect and learning, seeing that His Majesty has

given you the first, you will know what it is, by the help of

what I have written here. Unto Him be praise for ever and

ever! Amen.

1. See ch. xix. § 4.

2. Ch. xv. § 1.

3. See Relation, viii. § 6; and Way of Perfection, ch. liii., but

ch xxxi. of former editions. See also Concept. of the Love of

God, ch. vii.

4. See Relation, viii. § 17.

5. Ch. xiv. § 4. See also Way of Perfection, ch. liii., but

ch. xxxi. of the old editions.

6. Ch. xiv. § 6.

7. § 7.

Chapter XVIII.

The Fourth State of Prayer. The Great Dignity of the Soul Raised

to It by Our Lord. Attainable on Earth, Not by Our Merit, but by

the Goodness of Our Lord.

1. May our Lord teach me words whereby I may in some measure

describe the fourth water. [1] I have great need of His

help—even more than I had while speaking of the last; for in

that the soul still feels that it is not dead altogether. We may

thus speak, seeing that to the world it is really dead. But, as

I have said, [2] it retains the sense to see that it is in the

world, and to feel its own loneliness; and it makes use of that

which is outward for the purpose of manifesting its feelings, at

least by signs. In the whole of the prayer already spoken of,

and in all the states of it, the gardener undergoes some labour:

though in the later states the labour is attended with so much

bliss and comfort of the soul, that the soul would never

willingly pass out of it,—and thus the labour is not felt as

labour, but as bliss.

2. In this the fourth state there is no sense of anything, only

fruition, without understanding what that is the fruition of

which is granted. It is understood that the fruition is of a

certain good containing in itself all good together at once; but

this good is not comprehended. The senses are all occupied in

this fruition in such a way that not one of them is at liberty,

so as to be able to attend to anything else, whether outward

or inward.

3. The senses were permitted before, as I have said, [3] to give

some signs of the great joy they feel; but now, in this state,

the joy of the soul is incomparably greater, and the power of

showing it is still less; for there is no power in the body, and

the soul has none, whereby this fruition can be made known.

Everything of that kind would be a great hindrance, a torment,

and a disturbance of its rest. And I say, if it really be a

union of all the faculties, that the soul, even if it wished,—I

mean, when it is in union,—cannot make it known; and if it can,

then it is not union at all.

4. How this, which we call union, is effected, and what it is, I

cannot tell. Mystical theology explains it, and I do not know

the terms of that science; nor can I understand what the mind is,

nor how it differs from the soul or the spirit either: all three

seem to me but one; though I do know that the soul sometimes

leaps forth out of itself, like a fire that is burning and is

become a flame; and occasionally this fire increases

violently—the flame ascends high above the fire; but it is not

therefore a different thing: it is still the same flame of the

same fire. Your learning, my fathers, will enable you to

understand the matter; I can go no further.

5. What I undertake to explain is that which the soul feels when

it is in the divine union. It is plain enough what union is—two

distinct things becoming one. O my Lord, how good Thou art!

Blessed be Thou for ever, O my God! Let all creatures praise

Thee, Who hast so loved us that we can truly speak of this

communication which Thou hast with souls in this our exile!

Yea, even if they be good souls, it is on Thy part great

munificence and magnanimity,—in a word, it is Thy munificence, O

my Lord, seeing that Thou givest like Thyself. O infinite

Munificence!—how magnificent are Thy works! Even he whose

understanding is not occupied with the things of earth is amazed

that he is unable to understand these truths. Why, then, give

graces so high to souls who have been such great sinners?

Truly, this passeth my understanding; and when I come to think of

it, I can get no further. Is there any way at all for me to go

on which is not a going back? For, as to giving Thee thanks for

mercies so great, I know not how to do it. Sometimes I relieve

myself by giving utterance to follies. It often happens to me,

either when I receive these graces, or when God is about to

bestow them,—for, in the midst of them, I have already said, [4]

I was able to do nothing,—that I would break out into words

like these.

6. O Lord, consider what Thou art doing; forget not so soon the

great evils that I have done. To forgive me, Thou must already

have forgotten them; yet, in order that there may be some limit

to Thy graces, I beseech Thee remember them. O my Creator, pour

not a liquor so precious into a vessel so broken; for Thou hast

already seen how on other occasions I allowed it to run waste.

Lay not up treasure like this, where the longing after the

consolations of this life is not so mortified as it ought to be;

for it will be utterly lost. How canst Thou commit the defence

of the city, and the keys of its fortress to a commander so

cowardly, who at the first assault will let the enemy enter

within? Oh, let not Thy love be so great, O King Eternal, as to

imperil jewels so precious! O my Lord, to me it seems that it

becomes a ground for undervaluing them, when Thou puttest them in

the power of one so wretched, so vile, so frail, so miserable,

and so worthless as I am, who, though she may labour not to lose

them, by the help of Thy grace,—and I have need of no little

grace for that end, being what I am,—is not able to win over any

one to Thee,—in short, I am a woman, not good, but wicked.

It seems to me that the talents are not only hidden, but buried,

when they are committed to earth so vile. It is not Thy wont, O

Lord, to bestow graces and mercies like these upon a soul, unless

it be that it may edify many.

7. Thou, O my God, knowest already that I beg this of Thee with

my whole will, from the bottom of my heart, and that I have done

so more than once, and I account it a blessing to lose the

greatest blessings which may be had on earth, if Thou wouldst but

bestow these graces upon him who will make a better use of them

to the increase of Thy glory. These, and expressions like these,

it has happened to me often to utter. I saw afterwards my own

foolishness and want of humility; for our Lord knoweth well what

is expedient, and that there is no strength in my soul to be

saved, if His Majesty did not give it with graces so great.

8. I purpose also to speak of the graces and effects which abide

in the soul, and of that which the soul itself can do, or rather,

if it can do anything of itself towards attaining to a state so

high. The elevation of the spirit, or union, comes together with

heavenly love but, as I understand it, union is a different thing

from elevation in union itself. To him who may not have had any

experience of the latter, it must seem that it is not; and,

according to my view of it, even if they are both one, the

operations of our Lord therein are different: there is a growth

of the soul’s detachment from creatures more abundantly still in

the flight of the spirit. [5] I have clearly seen that this is a

particular grace, though, as I say, it may be the same, or seem

to be so, with the other; but a little fire, also, is as much

fire as a great fire—and yet there is a visible difference

between them. Before a small piece of iron is made red-hot in a

little fire, some time must pass; but if the fire be great, the

iron very quickly, though bulky, loses its nature altogether

in appearance.

9. So, it seems to me, is it with these two kinds of graces which

our Lord bestows. He who has had raptures will, I am sure,

understand it well; to him who has not had that experience, it

must appear folly. And, indeed, it may well be so; for if a

person like myself should speak of a matter of this kind, and

give any explanation at all of that for the description of which

no words ever can possibly be found, it is not to be wondered at

that I may be speaking foolishly.

10. But I have this confidence in our Lord, that He will help me

here; for His Majesty knoweth that my object in writing—the

first is to obey—is to inspire souls with a longing after so

high a good. I will speak of nothing that I do not know by great

experience: and so, when I began to describe the last kind of

water, I thought it more impossible for me to speak of it at all

than to speak Greek. It is a very difficult matter; so I left

it, and went to Communion. Blessed be our Lord, who is merciful

to the ignorant! Oh, virtue of obedience! it can do everything!

God enlightened my understanding—at one time suggesting the

words, at another showing me how to use them; for, as in the

preceding state of prayer, so also now, His Majesty seems to

utter what I can neither speak nor understand. [6]

11. What I am saying is the simple truth; and therefore whatever

is good herein is His teaching; what is erroneous, clearly comes

out of that sea of evil—myself. If there be any—and there must

be many—who, having attained to these states of prayer whereunto

our Lord in His mercy has brought me—wretch that I am!—and who,

thinking they have missed their way, desire to treat of these

matters with me, I am sure that our Lord will help His servant to

declare the truth more