Help Me by Ivy Thibodeau (rm book recommendations TXT) 📖

Chapter One: Why Me?

Here we go again, they’re fighting… again. I don’t understand why they stay together if they hate each other so much, I also don’t understand why my dad stays if he hates us so much, he could leave whenever he pleases. He doesn’t understand what he’s doing to us, to me. I hate listening to them fight, I shouldn’t have to deal with this, and it’s wrong for him to stay. If he cared about me at all, he would just leave, just leave my mom and me alone and never come back. But he doesn’t care, he’s made that clear. We mean nothing to him, just a punching bag for when he gets mad, which is starting to be more and more often.

I heard a crash from downstairs, which is nothing new really, but I still got out of bed to see what it was, but that was the wrong move. Once I got down there my dad turned to look at me.

“What the hell do you want?!” He yelled.

“I-I heard something.” ‘Oh god, why did I come down here?’

“I’ll give you something to hear.” He walked over to me and slapped me across the face.

As I turned my head from the impact of the hit, I saw my mother on the floor crying, she had a handprint on her right cheek. That must have been the noise, my mom hitting the wall. He’s always hitting her, and she just lets him do it. “Now go back to your damn room!” He’s been drinking again, I could smell it on his breath.

I looked at the ground before nodding. “Yes father.” I turned and went to my room, closing and locking my door behind me, holding back tears. I hate him, I wish he was dead.

I walked into my bathroom and grabbed a blade, my best and only friend. I placed the blade over the skin of my wrist and then I pushed down, breaking the skin. As I made each cut, I counted the reason for each cut.

 

I’m worthless. I’m a waste of space. No one loves me. I’m stupid.

 

By the time I was done, the floor was covered in my blood, and my wrist was all cut up, but they would just turn into scars and mean nothing. Just like all the others, just be a memory of what I had to go through.

I got off the floor, saying I’ll clean up the floor in the morning. As soon as I took a step, my vision started blacking out, I’m losing too much blood, great, maybe I can finally just end it. It’ll make life so much easier. I walked over to the sink and grabbed some badges and started cleaning my cuts.

After I was done, I stepped over my blood, too tired to clean it up, and walked into my room, making sure my door was locked. I laid down in bed and closed my eyes, trying to block out the yelling of my father and the crying of my mother, telling him to stop hurting her, wanting to forget this is the life I live. I try to keep my tears to myself, not wanting them to fall, because if I do then he wins, they all win and I don’t want them to see me broken. I have to stay strong and not let them see me weak.

 

~~~

 

The next morning when I went into my bathroom to get ready for school, the first thing I saw was the big puddle of dried up blood on the floor, that’s when everything came back to me from last night. I quickly stepped over the blood and looked in the mirror to see a big handprint on my right cheek.

“Just great, just another thing I need to worry about.” I said to myself, thinking that I’m lucky I woke up earlier than I normally do.

With that, I started working on cleaning the floor. It took about an hour to do, but I finally got it all off. After that, I got dressed in a pair of black skinny jeans, a long-sleeve dark blue shirt, and my black Vans. Then I walked into the bathroom and got to work on my make-up, first my eyes, leaving my cheek for last.

As I was putting my eyeliner on, there was a bang on my door, making me scared it was my dad.

“Kara, baby, opening the fucking door.” My boyfriend, Logan, yelled.

“C-Coming.” With that, I ran over to unlock my door. “W-what are you doing here Logan? I-I thought you were staying home t-today?”

“I got bored, now hurry the fuck up. I want to leave.” He said, walking into my room and laying on my bed.

“O-okay.” I ran to my bathroom, and started putting cover up on my cheek, trying to be fast about it. After I was done, I quickly ran over to Logan. “I-I’m ready.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t want to leave now. I want to fuck you.” He said, pulling me on top of him.

“B-but Logan, I want to go to school.” I tried to get off of him, but he had a hard grip on my waist, not letting me go.

“I don’t care what you want, I want to fuck. Now either you strip and let me fuck you, or we’re over and I’m going to go find myself a new slut.”

I teared up, slowly pulling my shirt off. “C-can we go to school after? Please Logan?”

“I’ll think about it, now strip.” He let go of me, so I could finish undressing.

‘I really hate when he does this.’

 

~~~

 

After the whole thing with Logan, he finally let me go to school, but when we got there, he wouldn’t let me go to class.

“Logan, what are you doing?” I asked, scared that he wasn’t done with me yet.

“Out back, I want to smoke with the guys.” He said, pulling me closer to where his friends stood.

“W-why can’t I go to c-class? You k-know I don’t smoke.”

“I don’t give a fuck what you do or don’t do, you’re staying with me. After we’re done here, we’re leaving, I want to go out and get you something sexy for the party tonight.”

“P-party? I don’t want to go.”

“I don’t care, you’re coming. Now shut the hell up. Hey guys, got anything good today?” Logan asked, smiling at his friends. I love it when he smiles, he looks so handsome and young, sadly he doesn’t smile much around me. But that’s my fault, all I do is make him mad, it’s not fair to him.

“Yeah, Brock got some good weed.” Rocky said. You can tell that they were already high by the way their eyes are bloodshot.

“What the hell is the slut doing here, I thought we were going to have some guy time.” James said, glaring at me. I moved closer to Logan, hiding behind him slightly. I really didn’t like his friends, they scare me, but I don’t tell him that, it would only make him mad and leave me.

“Chill dude, she’s here cause I’m taking her shopping after I’m done smoking. I need to get this thing something hot for the party tonight.” He said taking the joint from James.

I just stood there as they went from joint to joint. It was starting to scare me, because Logan wanted to leave when he was done, but he was too high to walk straight. I don’t want to get in a car with him like this, I don’t want to die like that.

As soon as they were done smoking, Logan grabbed my hand and started pulling me towards the parking lot so we could leave.

“No, Logan I don’t want to.” I cried, getting really scared, since he couldn’t walk straight.

“Shut up, bitch. You have nothing sexy to wear and I’m getting you something, be lucky I’m not making you go naked.” He said, tightening his grip on my wrist, making me flinch. I shouldn’t have cut last night, this hurts more than normal.

“Ow, Logan you’re hurting me, let go!” I was in tears now. “Please, Logan I’m sorry.”

He whipped around and smacked me hard in the face, making me cry harder. “Shut the fuck up! And stop your damn crying you stupid fucking slut.”

Just then some guy walked over. “I think the lady said to let go.”

“Why don’t you mind you’re own fucking business.” Logan said, pulling me towards his car. “Let's go, I’m sick of this place.”

“L-Logan, you can’t drive, you’re too high. Please just let me go to class. I’ll still go to the party with you, I just want to get to class, please Logan.”

“Didn’t I tell you to shut up?!” He yelled at me, he pulled his hand back to hit me again.

I was waiting for the hit, but it never came, and the grip on my wrist was gone too. I slowly opened my eyes, to see Logan on the ground, holding his nose, and the new guy standing over him, glaring. “You never, and I mean never lay a hand on a lady in a harmful way, do you understand me?” The new guy said calmly at Logan, before turning to me. “Are you okay? He didn’t hurt you too bad did he?”

He softly grabbed my face to look at the handprint on my now swollen cheek. I nodded slowly, looking at him. “I-I’m fine. You didn’t have to hurt him you know.” I said, looking at Logan. I started walking over to him and helped him up. “I’m sorry Logan, I’ll be good and get in the car. Just don’t be mad at me, please.”

“Why are you being nice to this guy? He was just hurting you.” The guy said.

“Cause I’m her fucking boyfriend, you jackass!” He wrapped his arm around my waist. “Let's go, before I knock this freak out.” He said, pulling me towards the car again.

“As if you could.”

“What the hell did you just say?” Logan said, turning around to glare at him. He was getting mad, and he’s scary when he’s mad.

“Logan, come on, forget about him. We need to get me something for the party, remember?” I said, pulling on his hand, hoping to get him away from the guy. It didn’t work.

 

~Josh’s POV~

 

This guy was starting to piss me off. You never treat a lady that way, ever. And yet, she's just letting him, I can't do much if she's letting it happen, but I can't let him do that, it's wrong. I looked at the girl.

"Why are you letting him do this? You deserve better, no girl deserves to be hit like he does to you." I say softly.

"Because I..." She looks down, so I know that what she's about to say is a lie. "Because I love him. Come on Logan, I want to go." She says, grabbing his hand, gently pulling him towards his car.

"This isn't the end new boy, nobody messes with me. Watch your back." He said before wrapping an arm around the girl I had yet to get a name of.

But before they got too far, she looked back and smiled softly, mouthing the words 'thank you.' So I at least know that she cared that I tried to help, but I'm not done, he's not going to get away with this.

But right now all I can think is why her?

 

~Kara's POV~

 

'Why me?'