Lovely Desire by Breanna Davis (self help books to read TXT) 📖

I glared at him, probably looking like a real psychopath. My hair was still messy from sleeping and my shirt was wrinkled, my eyes were glassy with tears and I was screaming like a mad person.
“Right now – you do.” Kyle replied matter-of-factly. He looked smug as he stood there like he knew everything. But he didn’t. Why did I waste all those years with this jerk?
Inside, everything exploded. My face was hot and I felt like I would kill him if he didn’t leave my sight immediately. It certainly wasn’t the answer that I was looking for. And I was glad it wasn’t. Now I could wrap my body up in Trent’s arms without a second thought. I could do what I want.
Without thinking, I threw the apple at his head. A gesture so quick, he didn’t have time to react. The apple hit his head with a hard thump.
“Get the hell out! Now! We are through! I can’t stand you, Kyle!” I yelled. My anger poured out of my mouth before I could take it back. I didn’t care though. He could burn in hell for all I cared.
“You’re overreacting! All I did was laugh, Faith. Get over it!” he yelled. I shook my head and pointed at the door.
“Get out now! If I could get over the humiliation you caused me, you could get over me and the relationship we had!” I yelled back. Kyle shook his head and sighed.
“Fine, I’ll give you time to breathe, but I will come back. This isn’t over, Faith Pierce.” He said sternly before he walked out the door.
My breaths were still ruff as I dropped to the floor. My heart aching from emotion, my throat sore from yelling, and my eyes burning from holding back the tears for a long time. I wrapped my arms around my body and cried. For once, I didn’t care about my reputation in the confines of my own home. I let the warm tears drip down my face, burning my cheeks leaving scars so deep that no one could cure. In some way, I loved Kyle. And what hurt the most was the fact that I still wasn’t guilty about making out with Trent Lawrence.


Sunday morning, I woke up, got dressed, and brushed my teeth. Yesterday, I called Jamie, crying and blowing snot bubbles. I needed to talk to a girl who would understand how breaking up with a boyfriend felt. But truthfully, I was crying because I still didn’t feel any guilt for making out with Trent.
Jamie suggested that maybe we should go out and eat breakfast together and have a shopping day, so that I can cool my nerves. It would also be a good time for me to introduce Jamie to my parents.
I threw on some black flats, grabbed some money out my drawer and stuffed it in my pocket. I checked to make sure Sophie wasn’t doing anything retarded, which surprisingly she wasn’t. She was sound asleep in her bed, curled up in a wad of sheets. I smiled and closed back her door before running downstairs. I grabbed the keys to my mom’s car and left a note before walking outside.
I hopped into my mom’s car and turned up the radio and I was off for the coffee shop.
When I reached there, Jamie was snacking on a doughnut staring up at the ceiling daydreaming. I cocked a brow at her and walked into the shop. I sat down in front of her, and that was when her eyes snapped to my face.
“Oh hey, Faith.” She said sitting up straight and smiling.
“Were you not expecting someone?” I teased.
She shrugged. “I thought I got stood up.” She pointed to the clock on the wall. “You’re an hour late.”
I looked at the clock then back at Jamie. “You said be here by eight o’ clock.” I pointed out.
“Nope, I said seven.”
I sighed. “Whatever, Jamie.”
She stuck out her tongue at me and took another bite of her doughnut. “Now, let’s discuss this Kyle situation. What happened?”
I sighed and leaned my head against my fist.
“Where do I start?” I raced through my brain for an answer. “Er – we started dating during sophomore year when I was declared cheerleading captain and he was the quarterback. Then, a few years later I figured out he was a dill hole and here we are now.” I forced a smile.
Jamie rolled her eyes. “I need details not a summary.” She said.
I sighed. “Jamie, I thought this whole outing was for me to forget about Kyle, not to remember every single moment we shared. So, can we focus on this and not him?” I suggested.
“Alright, Faith. Jeez, no need to bite my head off.” She took another bite of the doughnut. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes as the waiter came up to our table. I ordered black coffee and a cinnamon bun before the waiter went on her way. I looked at Jamie as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.
“So, you want to grab some lunch while we’re at the mall?”
I cocked a brow at her. “Are we seriously discussing food while were eating food?” I teased.
She laughed. “Yes we are. Now, does that sound like a plan?” she asked.
I nodded. “Sure. You’re the one who have to live with the fact that you are slowly killing me with all this food.” I pointed out.
“Aw, I would never kill you.” She said softly.
“That is not going to work. I’m not Leo,” I said referring to their weird compliments.
She blushed as the waitress came back with my order.

Jamie and I were in Victoria Secret with Leo, enjoying the day. Well, sort of enjoying the day. Leo kept on groaning about why he had to stay with us. I kept telling him to leave, but Jamie wanted him to stay. He had come to the mall with Kyle – sadly – and we ran into them as we left American Eagle. I would’ve rather ran the other way than spend two seconds in the same place as Kyle, but Jamie kept saying I needed closure. So I reluctantly went along.
“Kyle,” I had said when we approached them. Kyle nodded at me and looked the other way as if I wasn’t there. But I could see the hurt in his big brown eyes. For a second – a slight second – I wanted to forgive him. I thought that I was overreacting and that Kyle didn’t mean anything when he laughed at me. But then he left us to go flirt with some Barbie blonde. The guilt I felt for breaking up with him vanished as quickly as Kyle and the Barbie started making out as if they were madly in love. I wanted to vomit, maybe even cry, but I bit my tongue and fought the tears as I faced Leo.
“Hey, Leo,” I said, but my voice cracked. I bit my bottom lip and looked down at my black flats. Jamie grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze.
“Uh, sorry about what happened to you and Kyle.” He said. I looked up at him and forced a smile. “I’m over it,” I had lied. Why did I still feel like I owned Kyle? Was it the fact that without him my reputation might be ruined? Kyle could easily tell one of his fellow football players that he broke up with me. That would definitely ruin my reputation. I had to not care about my stupid reputation. I certainly wasn’t caring about it when I was wrapped up in Trent’s arms. Shivers rushed down my spines at just the thought of it.
The passion, lust, and longing did not compare to what I felt for Kyle. I wanted Trent and have recently decided that I needed him more than ever. So when I smiled again – it was real and not forced.
“I’m over it,” I said more convincingly. Leo nodded and grabbed Jamie’s other hand. “Kyle seems to be busy so I will join my favorite two women in the world.”
Jamie blushed while I smiled.
I was now rummaging through a rack of lingerie. I had no clue why, but a voice in the back of my head told me it was for Trent Lawrence. I fought a smile and looked a lacy black outfit. I imagined me in the sexy outfit posing for Trent. We would be in my room – lights off while a vanilla candle burned on my end table. Trent would hold my hips as I moved my body, showing him my curves. He would run his hands all over my body, exploring it and teasing me. Then, I would dip down for one of his famous delicious kisses.
“Faith, we’re about to go. Get what you need and hurry up!” I heard Jamie say. I blushed, completely snapped out of my fantasy. I grabbed the black lacy outfit and headed for the counter.
But as if he had been called, Trent Lawrence showed up. I stopped dead in my tracks. He seemed to be looking for something or someone. Was he looking for me? But the thought immediately banished. Of course he wasn’t. I could’ve been a fling. Or Trent Lawrence always made out with his female students. Or even male ones too. I shook my head. I was overreacting again. But if anything, Trent Lawrence couldn’t be looking for me. He doesn’t even know that I’m here. So whom or what is he looking for?
My question was answered as a dark haired woman hooked her arm with his. My mouth dropped. The woman was absolutely beautiful – devastatingly beautiful. I was a fling. I was exactly that. And to think that I almost had a chance.
It felt like my heart weighed a ton and it stopped beating. My stomach clenched and I had the sudden urge to attack the dark haired beauty. I looked away and started backing away. I was stupid – foolish and most of all – irresponsible. I knew I should’ve followed the rules I’ve lived by my whole life. But I stupidly let Trent Lawrence slip into my heart. I was an idiot. I could feel my eyes burn as tears wanted to break free. I bit my lip and looked back at Trent. But he wasn’t looking at the dark haired beauty – he was looking at me. Dead at me with a pitiful expression on his face. He was sorry for me? I didn’t need his pity! I didn’t need any of it! But I did want his comfort. I wanted him to tell me she was just his cousin. Or his sister – some kind of relative.
When the dark haired lady kissed him on the lips – full French kissing – I knew they were together. And I’ve been played.
I stormed out Victoria Secret, threw down the lingerie, tears running down my face, leaving behind a startled Leo and Jamie, and my player of a teacher. Oh, but the games have just begun. I felt sadness and loneliness rush through me and mix with my own emotions. But I ignored it and rushed into a nearby bathroom to cry my heart out. All because of Trent Lawrence.