Lovely Desire by Breanna Davis (self help books to read TXT) 📖

He sighed. “I’m just going to stop caring about you. Maybe then, my life might be a bit easier.” He said with a faint smile.
I nudged him with my shoulder. “What can I say? I’m a handful.” I joked.
He laughed, but it came out rough from our arguing. “You certainly are.”
I laughed with him as we reached the school. The Dream

MY chest was tight as I tried to back away. Who would’ve thought that he would actually bring her to school to make out? My insides quivered and I felt the vomit wanting to come up again. Tears stung my eyes as I watched the raven haired beauty stick her tongue down Trent’s throat. I dabbed at my eyes with the end of my t-shirt and tried to look away. But I couldn’t. I wanted to yell at Trent. To call him all the names in the book. He was a handsome dirty slob and I fell for his charm even though, he didn’t even want me. I was right, I was too ugly for him.
I could feel the vomit sliding up my throat, but I didn’t want to go into the bathroom; they were right in front of it. My eyes searched the nearly vacant for a trash can or something that could hold my puke. Coming up with nothing, I decided to make a run for the bathroom, hopefully not being noticed.
Puke slipped through my lips and into my hand as I rushed into the bathroom. I couldn’t be any happier to be in a restroom again, I thought happily. I rushed into one of the stalls and got on my knees. I puked my breakfast right out. I sniffled and wiped stray tears out my eyes. I leaned against the cool wall and tilted my head back to rest against it.
I was sick again . . . great. Now, I had to stay away from school longer. But was that a good thing or a bad thing? A terrible thing a great thing? On one hand, I didn’t have to see Trent Lawrence. On the other hand, I miss practice and can’t see my friends or anybody for that matter. But, I would risk all my friends just so I wouldn’t see Trent’s face.
Faith, you have to fight fire with fire, a voice in my head told me. You can’t let him think he can get to you.
I agreed with the voice. I was going to fight for Trent. I wanted him. And even if I was nothing compared to the raven haired beauty – I was going to mutilate her.
My spirit lifted a bit at the thought. Yes – I was going to murder her. I was going to put the responsible me behind me. Besides, I haven’t been much responsible in the past two weeks. I fell for my teacher in a matter of days. Old Faith would’ve cowered in fear at the thought, but new Faith embraced the thought. I, Faith Pierce, am going to fight for the one thing I want – Trent Lawrence.
My heart hammered against my chest as I stood up on shaky legs. I leaned against the cool wall as I tried to balance myself on my legs. I felt so out of place in my own skin. Nerves were already eating me alive. I couldn’t compete against the raven haired beauty . . . but I had to.
I kissed Trent Lawrence that Friday night and basically melted into his skin. It felt like out skin particles were meant to embrace each other when we touched. There was no way in hell was I going to let her have him. He was mines as far as I was concerned. She could have him when I get over this sickening crush . . . if I get over it. But, I highly doubt that I will.
Trent Lawrence made me a different person. And I wasn’t sure whether or not I embraced the change in me or not.
But I really wasn’t thinking about that as determination washed over me. The raven haired beauty clinging to him was burned into my mind. It made cold chills run down my spine causing a nasty taste to explode within me. A bitter taste. I was completely repulsed when I thought about her. My stomach clenched and I swear I was going to puke again.
No, I had to fight. I couldn’t cower into this tiny stall every time I saw her or even thought about her. I may not be as beautiful as her, but I was smart. I will have Trent back by the end of this month if not the end of this week. Not only was he mines, but he will not get the satisfaction of knowing he hurt me.
I wouldn’t let him have that satisfaction. Nor was I going to let the raven haired beauty have the same satisfaction.
I flushed the toilet, watching my insecurities wash down the toilet with my vomit. I had to let them go at some point. And I couldn’t think of a better moment to let them go than this one. My bit my bottom lip as I stepped out the stall.
I took each step at a time, carefully and slowly. I had no idea why, but I felt like I was being watched. But everywhere I turned, I saw nothing, but the egg shell white of the bathroom tile. I narrowed my eyes as I willed my eyes to see what my sense saw. Coming up with nothing, I sighed. Maybe this whole determination thing was going straight to my head
I tossed some water on my face and patted my cheeks. I looked at myself in the dirty mirror with a disappointed sigh. Still plain old me, I thought bitterly. I shook my head. No insecurities, I reminded myself. I rinsed out my mouth and reached in my pocket for a breath mint. Thank God, I always thought ahead of time. I knew something was going to cause me rancid breath today.
I ran my fingers through my dark hair as I leaned against the sink. I straightened out my shirt self consciously. I twirled around in the mirror to make sure my clothes were ok and I didn’t get any vomit stains on them. When I came up clean, I headed for the door, holding my breath.
I placed my hand on the cold handle. I exhaled and closed my eyes. It was now or never.
I threw open the door and tried not to see the raven haired beauty. They went back to kissing, and the raven haired beauty was practically attacking him. He seemed to be reluctant. Without thinking, I pushed her. Just pushed her bluntly without thinking.
She seemed surprised, but I ignored her and turned towards Trent. He seemed to also be surprised, but he was smiling. His smile turned my bones to butter. Holding his eyes, I wrapped my arms around his neck. I leaned on him with a tiny smile. Trent wrapped his arms tightly around my frame and held me tight to him. Electricity flowed from my finger tips, down my spine and to my heart. I shivered and bit my lower lip.
Trent gave a tiny growl before he slammed his lips against mines. His lips crushed mines with fierceness that screamed want. He wanted me and I wanted him ten times more. His hands slid down and rested on my butt. He gave a tiny squeeze he backed me up to the wall. My back was to the wall; my hands were in his hair, yanking it with pleasure. Trent was softly moaning in my mouth causing shivers to flow up and down my spine. Somehow, my legs ended up wrapped around his waist. He was pressed intimately against me and I could feel his rock hard abs pressed against my body. It felt unbelievably good. Sparks were flying and I felt as I was floating on cloud nine. Every time Trent’s tongue mingled with mines, I felt like I would explode with pleasure.
My heart was beating fast when Trent froze. He pulled back and I whined in protest. I tried to press my lips back on his, but he pressed a firm finger on my forehead. I still tried to kiss him, but my head wouldn’t move an inch under the impact of his finger. Jeez, he was strong.
“What’s wrong?” I whispered.
He shook his head and allowed me to stand on my own two feet. I groaned.
“It’s just that I never noticed how wonderful you smell.” He admitted. I cocked a brow at him. What did he mean by that?
He looked down and backed up. “Never mind, but we should be getting to the pep rally,” he said before basically running down the hall.
What the heck just happened?
My heart was still thumping against my chest, my breathing was still hard, and my skin was still tingling from Trent’s touches. Why did he leave in such a rush? I bit my bottom lip as I wrapped my arms around my body. I felt exposed and naked – absolutely vulnerable. I’ve just been rejected. He was repulsed by me. It was true! That was why he was with that raven haired beauty. I felt tears burn my eyes as I made my way towards the gym for the pep rally.
I looked back on all my mistakes starting from this morning. My first mistake was telling my mother I was well enough for school. My second mistake was snapping at Leo. My third mistake was not going straight back to class when I saw Trent and his . . . girlfriend. My fourth mistake was letting that kiss get to me. My fifth, and hopefully my last mistake of the day, was pushing the raven haired beauty and kissing Trent as if he were mines. And he was anything other than mines.
Again, I allowed him to use me. Why couldn’t I understand that he didn’t want me? Why didn’t my brain process that he used me? Why can’t my heart understand that we weren’t meant to be?
My stomach clenched, and a pain rocketed threw me. It hit my heart, causing bone chilling coldness to cascade all around inside of me. I shivered as tears formed in my eyes, blurring my vision. Great, I was going to look a mess. I was supposed to performing in the pep rally today. Coach, in honor of me, made us do the routine that we learned for the last game, so that I could participate. The cheerleaders were up last, so I had all the time to cry and bawl all I wanted to in the bathroom.
But, I was certain it was going to be the last tears I shed for Trent Lawrence. He will not get to me anymore. My heart and mind had to realize it was all a game.
If you got hurt – you loosed. And I was not about to lose to some self-centered jerk of a teacher. Why was I