Contract Marriage by Ashleh Queen (new reading .TXT) 📖

She silently watched rain hitting the road. In all the places people were found running for any shelter. And she, too couldn't wait to get to her place.

The sparkling diamond ring in her finger was just another reminder of her stupidity. So, she didn't waste a single moment to take it off. The anger was taking over but the moment she put it in her bag a sob escaped her throat.

He was nothing but a cheating bastard. Oh! God, Why me?

The car stopped in front of her apartment building. It feels like a lifetime when she was last here. Getting her luggage out she gets to the lift. It was too silent just like every other weekend. And Jane couldn't be more thankful as she was too impatient to just get to her apartment and let all the tears out without holding back.

The lift stopped at her floor and she didn't take much time to get to her apartment. Closing the door with a thud she sank to the floor. Loud sobs escaped her lips as she punched the walls in despair. Her mind echoed the single word Why again and again.

Never in her life, she hurts anyone. Not a single soul then how come that she had to be hurt every single time. She didn't know for how long she sat there but at night she silently looked at the busy street through her window.

She didn't have anything to eat but felt the sudden pang of hunger. Not thinking much she decided to have something and gets to her refrigerator. Inside, she found the already turned leftovers for cheese macaroni. They smelled so weird that she felt her bile rising up and ended up running to the bathroom.

Great She thought. The perfect time of having a bad stomach when you have a broken heart.

She felt so weak and out of energy. The last thing she wanted to think was him. But late at night laying in her bed all she could recall was him. The way he held her. The way he would make her feel.

"How stupid of me? Oh, God, I don't want to live." She whispered and sobbed under the covers.

She didn't know when she slept or woke up or even if she did sleep. But tucked in her blanket all she thought about was him. The way he was found out. All the times when he made her fool by acting up and how easily she believed in his lies. He was one very bad person. And she knew this is where she should be hating him or curse him but she couldn't. It wasn't in her.

She felt like her brain would collapse if she kept on thinking about him. But not thinking about this whole past week was something she was unable to do.

And she ended up hating herself even more. Her heart bleeds with every breath she takes. She could literally feel her heart hurting with every beat. And it was beyond suffocating.

She knew that only one person can heal her. The person who was always there for her. Thinking that she gets into the bathroom. And after being sober left for the church. With her hands clutched on the rosery, she asked for strength. Knowing that she didn't have any strength to live with the memories of her past she prayed for her memories to vanish.

Sitting there she also asked forgiveness for all the deeds she knew was sinful but she still committed. Though going to church made her heart a little at ease, somewhere in the darkest corner of her heart she knew she was tainted with this heartbreak for life. And what was worse? The feeling of being stupid and used.

And the season of holidays was even making her depression worst. She would go to mart just to find families, friends or lovers having the best of their life. With Christmas just a few days from now she wondered if this life was worth living.

She tried to read the Bible all the time. Thinking it will bring her peace but no. Just two days ago she was certain that she found someone she can lean on but once again it was proved that humans are not to be trusted.

In the evening, she restocked her refrigerator. Even if she was betrayed or broken she had a stomach to feed. And it was weird that she felt hungry all the time. For a time she suspects that she is suffering from an eating disorder. Or might be her depression this time was going to take her for real.

Though she didn't want to, the feeling of being watched was there. And she wasn't to blamed. Even in his last conversation, he looked adamant of not leaving her. And she too couldn't decide if she should be happy or sad about not listening from him in the past two days. What she knew was that this time her broken heart was too bad that it was physically affecting her. Just this morning she felt too dizzy that she hardly manage not to fall on the floor.

There was a moment when she regrets not punching him instead right on his nose. But with this, there were also the times when she couldn't stop thinking about him. She could feel him standing right behind her as she made herself some noodles. And she didn't know if it was the food she was cooking or reminiscing him but she ended throwing up her breakfast. With her bathroom door ajar she was throwing up and groaning with all the acid in her guts when the phone on her nightstand chimed.

In the night, she caught her cellphone absent-minded. But the message on the screen got her news she wasn't ready for. Without wasting a minute she started packing her bag all the while getting herself a flight for her hometown.

*********************

Not having anyone telling him to stop he was chugging down alcohol all the time.

Bitch, who does she thinks she is? I fucking loved her. Almost loved her. I was even ready to marry her. I could have offered this whole world to her. He thought.

"Bitch," He slurred as he poured another glass.

What I didn't do for her. Too ungrateful. He thought as he chugged down another glass.

Looking at not anything particular he wondered, Now what?