The One That Got Away by Danielle Martin (chrysanthemum read aloud TXT) 📖

car while pulling her black fitted dress down below her knees. She wore her fall denim jacket and black ankle boots with her hair pinned half up in a ponytail and half down falling in curls over her shoulders. Makayla hoped she looked good. She wanted to look good for him despite everything that happened. Shutting the car door, she took a deep breath, realizing this was reality and she was not dreaming anymore. So many nights she wondered where he lived, what he does for a living and what hes really like in his personal life. She was so busy trying to keep her own life a secret she didnt dare ask Nathan anything about his.

Walking up the steps, she took a deep breath as she approached the downstairs apartment #51. What if this isnt really his address? What if he turns her away? What if he has a woman here? She couldnt take the anxiety anymore. Stepping forward, she knocked while unknowingly holding her breath as she waited for someone to come to the door. 30 seconds passed. There was no answer, which caused her heart to race and make her immediatly regret her decision to make this trip across town. Makayla began to nervously tap her foot, then decided to knock one more time and if he didnt answer on this go round, then she was leaving. She tried and thats all that she could do. Raising her hand, she began to knock again. As if right on que, the door swung open, her balled up fist preparing to knock still raised in mid air. Her eyes widened in shock as she met eyes with Nathan. He stood at the door, wearing sweat jogging pants and a wife beater. His skin was moist and damp. Immediatly the smell of Irish Soap hit her nostrils. For a second she stared at him, at a loss for words.

"Makayla?? My bad i was in the shower." He broke the silence. "I had to hop out and throw some clothes on. What are you doing here?? How do you know where i live??"

"Uhhh..." She stammered, not knowing what to say. Makayla felt like a deer in headlights, she had no idea how she was going to play this off. "I'm sorry to pop up on you like this." That was the first thing she could think of to say as she regained her composure.

He crossed his arms across his chest and leaned his shoulder on the door frame. "Whats going on??" He asked while examining her.

She licked her lips as she looked him up and down admiring him, trying to contain herself as she felt a familiar rush of sensation shoot through her body. She knew this feeling all too well and there was no saving her at this moment. She already took her medication for the day, and more than one dose was strongly discouraged by her doctors due to the miligrams.

"I wanna apologize." Makayla spit it out, knowing her best bet would be getting straight to the point before she got too side tracked. "I messed up bad the last time I seen you. I just want you to know that was never intentional. I wouldnt put you in a situation like that on purpose."

He nodded his head. "I know that. I never thought anything you did was intentional."

She sighed a breath of relief, feeling better knowing that he wasnt taking things personal. "Congratulations on your new job Nathan. I'm proud of you, you really deserve it."

He smirked, nodding his head as if he were excited. "Thank you. This is a great oppurtunity for me. And i have Kathy to thank."

Makayla bit her lip while tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "Yeah, I have Kathy to thank to.o"

He laughed, obviously catching on to her subliminal messages. "I knew Kathy would give you something on me. Shes too nice." He laughed again, his deamnor so calm. Makayla shook her head, feeling like a true fuck up. She couldnt get things right even when she tried so hard to do so. It was discouraging and she didnt know what to do.

"I hope you know that I havent stopped thinking about you since the day you left Nathan." She stepped forward, suddenly feeling like she wanted to be close to him but she didnt want to invade his space. He look so good in his natural habitat and he smelled so clean. Never had she gotten the chance to physically embace him the way she wanted to. With all of these feelings and mixed up emotions she has been experiencing, that was only making her urge grow even stronger. "I wanted to chase after you so bad. But the situation, it was bigger than me. I hope you understand that."

"No i get it." He shrugged his shoulders. "I mean its cool Makayla. I already knew what came with you when i met you. I couldnt help that I was still interested. But like i said, I'm not trying to bring you down or contribute. So i dont mind falling back."

"But i dont want you to fall back." She spoke in a serious tone so he could know she was not joking about this.

"So what do you want then?" He progued for answers, obviously not buying it. "You want me?? Or you want your ex?? For real Makayla because i dont get it."

She became nervous. That was a question she had been avoiding. "Why do I got to want something? Why cant I just be a woman whose not perfect thats trying to figure her life out right now??"

He frowned, obviously not satisfied with her answer. "See thats your problem, you dont even know what you want Makayla. You just wanna throw all types of people in the mix and confuse everybody. Thats not my life no more."

She was taken aback, not knowing what to say or how to defend herself. It was all true. She was one confused pup and she had no idea how long it was going to take to get her life togtether. Makayla was 32 years old still struggling with the same issues she had as a teenager and now that reality was hitting her, she couldnt help but feel so small in a big girl world.

"I dont want to confuse you Nathan. I want you to help me figure things out."

He shook his head. "Look Makayla, I cant help you if your not trying to help yourself. If you really are concerned about me the way you make it seem, then you would back off and not involve me in all that drama. I really like you and I dont think your a bad person, but I dont need any negativity around me right now."
 Makayla shook her head. She didnt mean to be selfish. she kbew that walking out of his life saving him the dispare would be the right thing to do, but Makayla couldnt help the way she was feeling. The urge had become toO strong to fight, and she was tired of resisting.
 "Look Nathan," she stepped even closer, invading his space. His body stiffened and his breathing quickened as she inched even closer. "I'm not going to sit here and tell you I have it all figured out. Because I dont. For years, I been looking and searching for a good man to come into my life. And now I got more than just one, I got 2. I just wish you understood how difficult this has been for me. But no matter how hard I try Nathan, I cant stop thinking about you. I cant stop dreaming about you. I can taste your lips in my sleep and we've never kissed. These feelings are real and to be honest, I dont want them to go away." She stood 2 inches away from him, their chests lightly brushing against each other. He looked intimidated, which is something he never displayed before. Makayla knew she was coming on a little strong, but she had to let him know that she was serious and that she didnt intend on giving up without a fight.
 "So I still dont get it." He looked her deep in the eyes, searching for some type of deception still not giving in to her story, "I dont get what you want from me Makayla. I told you I like you, but im not interested in getting played by no woman whose dealing with another man."
 "But i'm not dealing with him!" She defended herself. "I'm just confused. And hes dating an old girlfriend now, so he and I are over!" She shouted more aggressively then she intended. Taking a deep breath, she calmed herself before speaking again. "Just give me a chance to show you."
He stared at her, not saying anything as he licked his lips while shaking his head. She stopped speaking, staring at his lips in a deep trance that she couldnt knock herself out of. Makayla had never been so curious about someone in her life and she didnt come all this way to fail. "Nathan," she mouthed his name slowly. "Can I kiss you?". He looked surprised as the words unknowningly slipped from her mouth. "Uhh.." He began to stammer, not knowing what to say next. His timidness turned her on even more, she couldnt fight it a second longer. Without waiting for a response, she reached forward grabbing him by the back of his neck and pulling his face down to hers. He did not resist. Swiftly, she pressed her lips firmly to his, pushing her body against his pressing him up against the door frame. She explored his lips with hers, his kiss sweet and passionate just how she dreamed it would be. She kissed him longer, the back of her mind telling her to stop. But she couldnt. She was inticed. Never had Makayla felt this way before, not even with Rodney.
   Interrupting her, he lightly placed his hands around her waist being careful while pushing her away, "Okay Makayla," He took a deep breath, taken aback the same way she was. "Wow." He smirked. "If i didn't believe you before, that kiss definetly almost just got me."
She continued to stare at him, her breath immediatly taken away the moment their lips met. This was the moment she had been waiting for, and it was everything that she hoped it would be. "Nathan, can I come inside, please?" She crossed her legs, in fear that temptation was about to take over. The urge was becoming too strong to deny. She didnt care about anything He shook his head, knowing what was coming next. "I cant Makayla. As tempted as I am, I cant do it."
  She bit her lip, suddenly becoming desperate. She wanted him, needed him, and the playing hard to get was driving her insance. "So when?" She asked,  in need of a final answer "What do I need to do to you to prove that im serious? Will i ever have you Nathan?"
He sighed, dropping his head while shaking his head secretly wanting to give in. He stepped forward and placed both hands on her shoulders while looking at her deep in her eyes. "Do me a favor." Makayla stared back at him, hoping he seen the same thing in her that she sees in him. "Whenever you have officially let go of your past, come find me. Until then Makayla, I just cant. I need you to understand."
With that being said, he lightly placed a kiss on her forehead, which pretty much sealt the deal. Until she fully let go of her feelings with Rodney, she would never have Nathan the way she wanted him. Her shoulders dropped, suddenly feeling like this was the toughest ultimatum she had ever experienced in her life. But she knew it was the right thing to do. As bad as she wanted Nathan, she didnt want to drag him down either. "Akright." She nodded