Sinfully Yours by Mirah Selim (sites to read books for free TXT) 📖

Author Pov

"Can you forgive Camile and your father?"

As soon as her words hit his ears his grip over her wrist loosened. Even Hazel felt him loosening his grip over her, she watched how his eyes turned from eager to shocked. He just stared at her with slightly wide eyes like he wasn't expecting her to say those words. Even Hazel was surprised herself. She was never a person to throw someone's bad memory on their face but right now he needed a reality check.

"No right?" She mumbled chuckling.

"Then how can you expect me to forgive you? Yes! My sufferings maybe aren't more than what you have faced in the past but it still can't change the fact that I still have suffered because of you." Finally, his hands left her completely as he dropped his arms beside him not removing his gaze from her face.

"If you can't forgive the people who tormented you, abused you, bad-mouthed you then how can I forgive the man who did the same to me? Funny how you're not even ready to forgive your uncle who just didn't believe you that time but you expect me to forgive and accept the man who did worst to me!" Cyrus watched how her eyes started turning teary and he knew she was remembering all the things he had done to her.

Even he started recalling all the times he bad-mouthed her, manhandled her, forced her. That time too he wore a blindfold over his mind when she cried and begged for him to stop. Then why does it hurts him now? Why does being the reason behind her tears hurt him now?

Why does it hurt to hear the truth? She has reminded him many times how he tormented her but it never hurt this bad as it was hurting now. Why? Just why? His heart squeezed painfully when tears started streaming down her eyes. She tried wiping them away but more trailed down.

"I want nothing but these four months to be completed. And if you want to keep me with you after the contract will be ended then do it. I don't care I have done peace with my fate. I have accepted that I can't escape you. I have accepted that my life is in your palm and you can make a decision about it. It's not mine anymore. It's yours. So do whatever you want. But don't ask such things from me." She whispered the last sentence wiping her cheeks but it was of no use as more tears damped her rosy flesh.

"I can't forgive you. And I can't accept you from my heart. Because you don't deserve it!" Cyrus shut off his eyes for a second before licking his lips.

No one can love you, Cyrus. No one can love a monster!

He clenched his hands and that froze Hazel. She understood she has again triggered him. Her heart jumped in her chest when he opened his slightly red eyes. His gaze was completely blank yet the darkness in it was evident.

Expecting him to thrash the office, or hurt himself just like he used to she started trembling slightly which didn't notice by him. He gulped breathing heavily before taking a step back from her.

To her utter surprise instead of making a scene, he walked near his office table and grabbed his phone. "Come to my office." His hoarse shaky voice echoed in the office.

He placed his palms on the table leaning forward a little keeping his back on Hazel. And just after a two-minute silence Creed entered the room. He bowed his head at Cyrus with a stoic face. Cyrus still didn't turn to look at anyone of them. His back was facing them.

"Take her back." Hazel stared at his back when Creed obliged him and motioned Hazel to follow him. Sparing him the last glance she walked behind Creed leaving the messed-up man behind.

Cyrus stayed in the same position standing leaning on the table for nearly 10 minutes. Staring at the mirror table he gritted his teeth as another voice echoed in his head.

No one can love such an ugly boy!

You're born to be a monster and monsters are not supposed to be loved!

His eyes fell over the scar his forehead still graced as his hair was slightly moved to the side. He glared at the scar before growling loudly and throwing everything off the table. His computer crashed on the floor scattering into multiple pieces.

Grabbing the vase from the table he threw it on the floor letting its sharp pieces pierce his flesh. He closed his eyes slumping down on the table. He let his back rest against the table before his bloodshot eyes fell over the sharp glass pieces.

He grabbed it staring at it like an insane person. Without thinking twice he slashed his wrist multiple times letting the pain engulf his body. Just when he felt blood oozing out of his wrist he let the piece fall to the floor.

Throwing his head back against the table he chuckled smiling satisfied with the pain his body felt. This pain was better than what his heart was feeling. This time he had no idea why he hurt himself. He always painted injuries over his body to punish himself but today he just wanted to feel pain.

After seeing those tears in her eyes and being the reason behind them he wanted nothing more than to hurt himself and that's what he did. He wanted to feel maybe not entirely but a little bit of the pain she had gone through.

He sighed heavily when he saw the blood on the floor. Pulling the handkerchief out of his pocket he wrapped it around his wounded wrist before looking around the mess he made. He tried. He did his best to not lose his mind again but he couldn't help it. It's just not in his hands anymore.

He knew he might end up hurting her that's why he asked Creed to take her away. He already has done enough damage to her and now even if he tries to be ignorant of her pain and carry on their lives the way they were used to, he can't. There is something that has changed in him that he had no idea of.

He slowly stood up from the floor and walked towards the balcony. His eyes fell over the beautiful scenery in front of him. Placing his hands over the railing he took a sharp breath closing his eyes. He wanted peace but he knew he had found that peace in someone who wants nothing more than to run far away from him.