"Student Union" by SJ Bottomley (best e book reader .txt) 📖

that I have considered since that day, something that didn’t come to me at the time, not surprisingly, I think, due to how much I was forced to take in...One thing that I have considered since that day is a possible reasoning behind Kathryn’s decision. I think that it is a very real possibility that her choice was made, in part, at least, by the fact that things ended with Mike. With him out of the picture, from whatever point in time, she was free to do what she did. In a way, and I don’t mean for this to sound negative or anything like that, but, in a way, I think that he was holding her back from perhaps doing what she wanted to do. This, like many of the things that I have suggested in this piece of writing so far, may well be completely wrong and if that is so, then I apologise for my inaccuracy. Still, I think that it’s something to think about, maybe. One final thing that I wish to add to this before I move on is just a quick word or two on what I wrote in “Avril Lavigne”. It might seem almost prophetic now, looking back at the last few lines of that piece of work. I assure you that when I wrote that, back at the end of last June, I had no idea that such a thing would happen. At the time of writing that, I didn’t know anything about Kathryn and her boyfriend. Really, the only true thing that I said in that part of the essay was that if it was to happen, he would be an idiot and I maintain that perspective to this day. I think he is an idiot. Again, I couldn’t tell you the first thing about what went on and therefore, I’m only going on what I suppose happened. But, if it was him that ended it and not her, then he genuinely needs his head looking at. Once more...What an idiot.

Five
There was no plan for a part five, originally. As, it might be said, there wasn't one for a part four, either. However, as with the above, things have now advanced somewhat and it’s necessary, if this is to be a complete and accurate account of what has happened and what I know; it is necessary that this is documented, also. It was now mid to late December and Kathryn was long gone from my life. On that day in September, when I heard the terrible news, directly from the horse's mouth, I strongly suspected that I would never see her again. Yes, this is a deeply pessimistic view to take, I understand that and I accept it, but it is, at the same time, a realistic one as well. The girl of my dreams was telling me herself that at the end of that very day, she would be leaving her job, where she had been for the past six years and instead, starting a new life, away from home, at university. Alright, Liverpool isn't a million miles away, hardly the other end of the universe, but it was still far enough for me not to get my hopes too high on the off chance that I might bump into her anytime soon. This was unfortunate and I was quite put out about it for a while, as you are no doubt aware, having already read what I had to say earlier. But, then, over time, over the weeks and months that passed between then and the week before Christmas, I accepted it. There was nothing else that I could do. I didn't really have a choice. While this was going on and I was most of the way through this realisation, if you can call it that, the conversation with Trudi took place and I learned the things that I learned. This, pretty much, sealed it. If I didn't know it already, that hammered it home that I should probably just give up at that moment and move on to something else, somebody else. This, though, as it turned out, might have been a mindset that I reached just a shade too hastily.
It was eight days before Christmas. Monday, 17 December. And at about a quarter past six, I found myself walking into Tesco. Surprise! Surprise! One thing that I had learnt since Kathryn's departure in the autumn was that the whole Tesco experience for me had all of a sudden become much less fun than it had been previously. This had been expected, of course and as a result, didn't come as too much of a shock to me when it turned out to be a pretty accurate prediction. Spot on, in fact. There were still some perks, however, that made the experience more pleasing than it might have been otherwise. I am talking, chiefly, about Linzi. There was a gap that had to be filled about Kathryn’s untimely departure and Linzi, it turned out was the one that was there to fill it. Now, please don’t misunderstand me. Linzi is no Kathryn. But then, no-one is Kathryn. No one alive could make me feel the way that I did on the occasions that I saw her. She was, in that sense, completely unique. And, as a consequence, Linzi, or whoever it would have turned out to be if it wouldn’t have been her, could never fill my mind as much or as frequently as Kathryn did. I don’t think I was ever obsessed obsessed about Kathryn, not in the way that I was with say Toni, for example. Kathryn wasn’t an individual that I thought about every minute of the day. Nevertheless, she did occupy a large part of my thinking and when she told me...or rather, when I heard her tell Dad, that that day was to be her last, in the days that immediately followed that, there was a sense, within me, that I had lost something. Whatever you might like to call it. This, as I’ve said, is something that can not be replaced, at least not entirely, and if someone did come along, then she wouldn’t be quite as good as Kathryn, no matter how good she might be. Still with me? Good. So, back to Linzi. She was someone that I had noticed while Kathryn was still working at Tesco. And, in fact, it was probably Kathryn herself, indirectly perhaps, that got me thinking about Linzi in the first place. The way that it worked was this. As I outlined in “Avril Lavigne”, towards the end of her time at Tesco, maybe for the last year of it, how long exactly it was, I’m not sure...Towards the end of her time at Tesco, Kathryn moved from where she had been working previously, be it the Provisions department, where she had been with me or the tills; she moved from there and went to work as a Checkout Control Person...I’m not sure of the exact job title, so I will use this instead. This meant that she patrolled the checkouts, looking to see if any of the workers on the tills had their light flashing, indicating that they required some kind of assistance. Seeing this light, she would then duly go and assist, to the very best of her ability. She also, as I noted, wore one of those humorous headsets that made her look like an air traffic controller or something, as well as outstandingly gorgeous at the same time. Anyway, one day, when I was in, doing my usual “Is Kathryn on today or off today?” routine, I saw her, Kathryn, and also saw, for the first time, this other girl, stood next to her. Rare it was, rare it is, that two of these checkout control people are stood behind their desk at the same time. Normally, either or both of them are out, walking up and down, in front of the row of tills, looking for that all important flashing light. In this instance, however, for whatever reason, both Kathryn and this mysterious other were, as I said, not pacing around, but waiting for something to happen behind that desk. They were also, understandably I suppose, talking to one another. Kathryn was my sole source of attention, to begin with, obviously. But, as I got closer to her, closer to the two of them, it became clear that this girl that Kathryn was having a conversation with wasn’t entirely unattractive in her own right. In fact, more than that, she was bloody good looking. Short, tiny even, no bigger than your thumb, but good looking all the same. Definitely. Her height, or lack of therein, was only magnified by the fact that the person that she was stood next to was so tall. If I’ve not already said it in any of my works about her, then Kathryn has to be 5’8”/5’9” easily. She is very, very tall and poor Linzi looked miniscule stood next to her. I’ve no idea when this was. Certainly it could have been no longer ago than late spring/early summer, simply for the fact that it wasn’t until April that I started to fall in love with Kathryn again. Sadly, I can’t say either when I first found out her name, but I must have passed her one day and my eyes wondered on to her name badge and it was then that I discovered that she was called Linzi. At whichever point in time it happened to be, when I witnessed Little and Large together, I saw her and she has been in my mind off and on ever since. When Kathryn left in September, because Rachel no longer seemed to be around either, she seemed to me to be the natural choice. Again, let me reiterate that this was not a crush or another instance of me falling in love in the blink of an eye or anything like that. I don’t feel that way about her and I never will. She is, simply, as I said above, someone that when I walk into Tesco now, with no Kathryn, or Rachel even, there anymore to keep me quiet; she is someone that I look out for and when she is there, the experience is enhanced. Not as much as it was with Kathryn, but enhanced to a certain extent, it is.
Anyway, coming back from that tangent that I appeared to go on rather arbitrarily there, despite Linzi being there now, walking into Tesco was no longer quite the same as it had been with Kathryn there. Just a fact of life, I suppose. Not much I could do about that. But, there I was, with a week or so left before Christmas, I was walking in to get one or two more things, a couple of last minute presents for people before we were due to go away on the Thursday. Now, one thing you should know, I think, at this point is that our Tesco is quite unusual. Despite the fact that it is absolutely enormous, a massive building, it is called a Tesco “Extra”. What I think this means, though I never did find out for sure, despite me working in the place for over a year; I think this means that instead of the usual design of store that you see with the roof like a house and the small doors at the front, ours has a glass front that goes all the way from one end of the store to another. Across this, in enormous white letters is the company slogan “Every little helps...”. This is fine, it’s alright and at nights, with the lights shining down on it, it looks very beautiful. What it also does, though, is when your walking past it,