Rosalina's Hope by D.D. Dass (best non fiction books to read txt) 📖

involuntarily I glanced at the man beside me.

 

You don’t need him!

Stop it.

 

“I do,” I told him in a small voice.

 

“This is just ridiculous. Only I would find a girl out of the whole world, who likes country,” he whined, and I winced, smile fading as the shame whirled along my insides…

 

He noticed –as always –and his eyes softened. “Stop that,” he said before breaking out into a singing fit. Unable to help myself, I laughed as he sang –the words horribly wrong–in a loud, booming voice.

 

Terrible, terrible singer, I thought fondly, but oddly comforting…and sweet.

 

“I need you; like a lighthouse needs a coast, like the father and a son need the Holy Ghost…I need you…” I sung quietly underneath Faith Hill and through the verses, he remained silent. As if he could somehow hear me.

 

And suddenly, I knew it wasn’t just lyrics anymore…It was a confession. I needed him. I’d given him a place in my heart…A place I could never have back, I realized, my heart sinking.

 

“I need you,” his voice was soft and mesmerizing as his gaze caught mine…and I couldn’t help it, a laugh blossomed my lips, a giddy high settling over me. He smiled sheepishly.

 

“I really, hope you don’t tell anyone I just sang country,” he mumbled, lowering the volume, staring straight ahead.

I grinned. Oh my! He’s actually embarrassed.

 

“Well, depends,” I teased. “What will happen if I happen to slip up…?”

 

“Oh, you don’t wanna know,” he smirked, looking considerably smugger. I rolled my eyes, but let it go, testing the weight of these sudden, intense emotions.

 

Staring out the window, I watched as the surroundings became unfamiliar, as the buildings and homes disappeared to give a better, awe-worthy view of Colorado’s mountains. We exited the town soon and all that surrounded us was trees.

 

After about an hour or so, we finally came to a stop, still bound by thick forests, but I noted that we had stopped at the beginning of a trail. He got out and I opened my door before he could.

 

He frowned, but didn’t comment as we walked side-by-side on the trail. “Where are we now?” I broke the silence.

 

“Roosevelt National Forest,” he answered matter-of-factly. “But that doesn’t matter. I wanted to show you something…”

 

I nodded slowly. He started off the trail and I followed, allowing him to guide me with quick “carefuls” and “loose rocks, this way…”

 

By the time we reached our destination, it was about four, but the trip was worth it. Oh, my God…It’s so lovely. With a gasp, my eyes landed on the creek.

 

It was beautiful with harsh waters rushing passed unmoving boulders and the trees becoming an outline as the sun –which would be setting soon–shone brightly.

 

I saw my reflection there, in the shallow water and thought –knew that I belonged nowhere near such splendor…yet there I was anyway.

 

With Sebastien.

 

Slowly, I pivoted and my breathing stopped. He was smiling widely, hazel eyes lighter and gleaming with such…adoration that my resolve shattered in a million, pitiful pieces. It was…life-altering.

 

The world stopped spinning.

The air froze.

My heart faltered…

And I was in love. So hopelessly in love.

 

I was free; a little girl again with no worries or doubts or cares…Just in love. Laughing I speed at him, my arms flinging around his shoulders as he fell backwards. My head rested on his chest as we laid there, watching for I don’t know how long until the sun began to fall.

 

For the first time in so many years, I was perfectly at peace, floating so high only he could reach me. 

Love Suicide (Bastien):

I love you. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone. The assertion was on the tip of my tongue. As I struggled against them, I watched her. I watched her from where she stood, wide-eyed, mouth a perfect O, ignorant to the place I recognized as my bittersweet disaster. And the memories returned, but only in flashes, never consuming the sanity left to me…And Rosa was what kept it that way. Rosa was my reason.

 

From a youngling age, I’d wished someone would save me from my father’s grips. Save me from suffocating when that grip had been the noose around my throat...Rosalina Payne was who I had awaited all these cold, long years for…

 

A love unborn; my one and only. Mine.

 

I grinned once she turned to face me, blue eyes wide and sparkling in a way that had my heart pounding at my ribcage in reprisal. She ran towards me, laughing –her laugh is even beautiful –and I fell purposely so that she was spread over my body, lips at my collarbone and head tucked underneath my chin.

 

Her scent drifted through my body and my head spun with it. The nightmares were nowhere to be found in that moment…The awareness seeped into my mind, poisoning it. If he’s vanished from my mind…then he’s tormenting another.

 

“Open your eyes,” her whisper was a caress along my every sense. I forced my eyes open. Panic’s sharp claws churched deep in my chest. Fuck, fuck why wasn’t he…? Where was he now?

 

You’re fucking insane, the wolf snarled far away, as I sunk in the depths of her blue eyes. Her eyebrows furrowed, forming a little V and I tried to pull a smile, but my panic only hitched.

 

“Hey…What’s wrong?” He’s not here!

 

My jaw worked as I fisted her hair lightly, bringing her closer so I could bury my face in the slope of her slender neck, the scent of lavender cleansing me–the growing panic began to dissipate.  

 

Still, I didn’t hear a strong, cruel accent driving me closer…closer to the insanity I aimed to crush.

 

Minutes later, my breathing returned to normal and I pulled away, running my hands down her sides. It was quiet for a long while, no sounds other than nature and our mingled breathing.

 

As the sun began its departure, I held her by the waist, longing to keep her with me…and knowing I could not. It was agonizing. I hummed before blinking rapidly, my vision enhanced with the darkness.

 

 

“Gotta get you home,” I said to myself more than her. In response, Rosa lifted her head, eyes a heartbreaking sort of sad, even as she nodded and rose unsteadily to her feet. I sighed contentedly at the sight of her–dirty blonde hair loose, brushing just below her breasts. I tried to keep my attention from the creamy swells, but my eyes wouldn’t cooperate, drinking in the small globes, creamy skin just barely visible in her grey top.

 

Shaking myself, I swiftly rose; grabbing ahold of her hands and leading her in the direction we had come, the darkness improving my vision twenty times.

 

“How do you know we’re going the right way?” she wondered. God –she always seemed to ask the wrong questions.

 

“I have very good nocturnal vision. Can see the trail,” I lied flatly. I’ll tell her soon, I promised, even as the strange fear crept through into my system. The wolf became aware of the likelihood of her running for the hills.

 

The nightmares would be unbearable then…My mate, the one and only, would loathe me.

Just the thought hurt worse–contracting around my lungs cruelly –than every beating I’d received from my father….So much fucking worse.

 

She interrupted my masochistic thoughts. “But we weren’t even on the trail…” Inwardly, I groaned. And she called me perceptive–this girl noticed everything.

 

“Then I guess we’ll both get lost,” I snapped, the stress overwhelming me. Rosa looked up at me with kittenish fury –blue depths a tempest. I gritted my teeth against an apology.

 

“I can’t tolerate liars.” My shoulders tensed, but I ignored that, leading the way until we reached my car. Once we were on the road, it was a quarter to eight.

 

Rosa remained silent–and it drove me mad until I could not handle.

 

With a sighs, I spoke, “I’m sorry for snapping at you…I just have a lot on my mind right now.” So much she could never understand. Telling her I was a Lycan, telling my mother and the pack I’d somehow managed to go against law and mate a human, tracking the unfamiliar wolf scent from her home…Get Zach–that asshole–away from mine.

 

“I’m not mad, Bastien.” Getting answer from Rosalina was like pulling teeth. Though it was slightly easier to figure when she was lying, a little vbetween her eyebrows, the way she called me Bastien…

 

“Then what is wrong, Roza?”

 

“Nothing,” she mumbled to quickly –another fucking lie.

 

“You’re ruining me,” I groaned, shutting my eyes. Suddenly, my senses shifted and I stepped on the gas. It was there again, that same blaring alerts–another presence, maybe two miles, the presence of another Lycanthrope. It wasn’t a strong, but there was a darker undertone…The scent repelled, but also called to my wolf like siren–too easy to trace. And I would’ve tracked it, were it not for the instinct to protect my mate with mine own eyes.

 

I suppressed a menacing snarl, but sped up a bit more, careful not to go over a hundred. The line between not wanting harm to come to Rosa and wanting to protect her was far, far too thin.

 

Throughout the ride, I kept my senses high, keeping track of the potential threat, but the closer we got to town, the further the presence strayed until it was completely disconnected from my mental-radar.

 

My wolf roared. Don’t take that risk –protect ours. And I would.

 

Upon entering the town, the silence began to drive me insane. “Do you usually skip lunch?” I had been bothered by this the entire day. I couldn’t tolerate her risking her health.

 

She sighed. “Sometimes. I don’t have much of an appetite…especially lately.”

 

My eyes flickered shut, pained. “Because of me.”

 

“No! No,” she said, voice urgent but oddly soothing all the same. “I just…I haven’t ever had much of an appetite to begin with. Besides, I don’t see you eating all that much.”

 

I laughed at that. I didn’t need to really keep up on food. Lycans could survive on one meal per week; the strongest of us could even tolerate a month, though I gathered it wouldn’t be the most comfortable of bearings.

 

“Food is important. I eat all the time.” It wasn’t a lie; I hunted at night before I went to visit her. I enjoyed the thrill of the kill…the chase. It was in Lycan nature.

 

“Are you…questioning my eating-habits?” I risked a glance at her, clenching my teeth against a grin. She was still very angry.

 

“I am,” I confirmed, indifferent. “You’re very slim.”

 

Her eyes softened and I finally let myself smile a little. “And that’s not your fault…”

 

Quickly, I diverted my gaze, emotion obstructing my airways. Denial–it crossed my mind, because it was always my fault….That she believed otherwise confused me. How to respond, I wondered, with the truth…I really didn’t want to ruin this with my past.

 

Nothing. Just say nothing the wolf commanded. I breathed a sigh of relief…Nothing never sounded quite so ideal.

 

Ten minutes later, I pulled onto the curb, killing the engine. It was still then, and slowly I looked over at the female beside me to find her eyes on me.  Her lips were parted, but she said nothing, seemingly at a loss for words, much like me. The electricity flickered to life between us, the air sparking…except Rosa unbuckled and scrambled out