Having A Mate Changes Everything by Garnet 2000 (little red riding hood read aloud .txt) 📖

not talking about a car here," Guy number 1 says.

 

My SEXY hunk of a mate growls, in response.

 

Oh wait! That sounds wrong, I mean, he growls at what he says. Yep, that sounds about right. Don't you think so, self? Hold on, Lyla, you are getting off track here. You just called him sexy AND you have four people waiting to order.

 

"Okay, I know I am sexy, you don't have to say it again, ugh, it's always the same treatment, not that I don't enjoy it. I am just so sexy, I guess girls just can't help themselves so, they just throw themselves at me and I don't want to be rude so, I just take what they give me and fu------"

 

And then guy number 1 is interrupted by guy number 3.

 

"Okay, Cameron, we get it, and what he is trying to say is, who the hell are you talking to?!"

 

"Uh, well, I am talking to myself, it's a habit I guess. And by the way, Cameron, if you ever talk to me like that again, I will seriously cut your ding-dong off, burn it, and feed it to the dogs, and I am not talking about a bell here."

 

"Ewwwwww! That's nasty! Why would you feed it to us?That's sounds revolting, " Guy number 2 screams.

 

Then, everyone in the cafe looks our way.

 

"Shut the hell up, dumbass, you're causing a commotion, there are humans here," my mate says. Oh god, I just had an eargasm.

 

His voice is sooo hot and rough, just the way I like it. His voice can take my ears anytime. Yeah, I know I am weird but, I don't give a damn in the world. Fuck, man, I am thinking about him, again! GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF, LYLA!

 

I am thinking about how perfect he is, so, I slap myself, mind you, not mentally.

 

Everyone is still looking at us, and I just made myself look like an idiot, which I am, but they don't have to know that!

 

All of the guys, including my mate, are looking at me.

 

Then, they all burst out laughing.

"Oh my god!That was the funniest thing I have ever seen.You---" Guy number 3 couldn't even finish his sentence.

 

"Did you guys s--s--s--s--s-see that?" Cameron asks.

 

Then the other three guys stop laughing.

 

"Okay, I know you're a blonde, but did you really have to make the insulting phrase "blonde moment" become true, well for you, anyway?" Guy Number 2 retorts. (I AM NOT TRYING TO BE INSULTING WHATSOEVER TO BLONDES)

 

"Oh, shut up, you're just jealous."

 

"Of what?" asks Guy Number 2.

 

"Of my absolute, sexyass. I mean who doesn't want to kiss it? All of the ladies love me and I can have anyone I want, hell, even guys want me, or a least they want to be me. How can they not? My face is just heaven and girls are just waiting to lick me---"

 

"Don't even finish that sentence ," Guy number 3--Okay I can't do this anymore, I am just going to ask their names.

 

"So what are you guys' names?"

 

"Well I am Damion, this narcissist is Cameron, the idiot is Paul, and he, is Arrow," My mate answers,in a husky voice. Yum.

 

In the background, using my wolf senses, I hear people saying, "What weirdos?" and stuff along those lines.

"WHAT IS YOU PEOPLE'S PROBLEM?! YOU CAME HERE TO EAT AND ENJOY, NOT STARE AND GLARE!" I yell. Immediately, people continue to do whatever they were doing, before they so rudely stared.

 

"Wow, you are weird, first, you tell Cameron off without falling completely head over heels for him, like most girls do, second, you start talking to yourself, then, you slap yourself, and now, you yell at customers...........I LIKE YOU! So what's your name, best friend? Also, I meant to ask you why did you talk to yourself and why are you making Damion go hard? Which never happens when he is around a girl," Paul says.

Slut Alert!

I look down at his pants  and sure enough Damion Jr. was making his appearence. Shit! It seems bigger than a damn cucumber...tehehehe unusual comparison. So...big.

 

5 minutes later

 

Gosh so freaking huge

 

"What?"Damion asks.

 

"Oh my cheese nuts--I mean balls--I mean oh my cheese, I said that out loud?!"

 

"Yes, you did honey, and it's flattering really but, don't you know it's rude to stare?"

 

By this time my face was as red as a tomato and Paul, Arrow, and Cameron are having a laughing contest. Assholes. They just love seeing me suffer. Anyway, as I was about to tell Damion to cover up his junk, the three sluts enter the diner.

 

Kana, Kera, and Kira, the biggest sluts of them all. They have done pretty much anyone from hobos to 60 year old men. I seriously believe that all diseases, able to be sexually transmitted, originated from them. They are used more than condoms, it's gross. And the crazy thing about it is, that they're not even pretty, unlike those other cliche stories where the sluts are gorgeous and just dump their faces in makeup.

 

It's like they slam all of the makeup on their faces, thinking they can make it look classy. When in reality, just reminds me of those types of art that look colorful, but make no sense at all.

 

I had just finished that thought when Kana, the head whore, spots table number four.

 

Oh NO! the bitch is heading over here with her clan.

 

"DAMI!"She screeches.

 

Suddenly, Paul coughs,"Slut alert."

 

As he says that the funniest thing happens. While they were running over to us, apparently their killer heels got caught in the floor and what do ya know?! They fell, face first.

 

 

 

 

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Text: All rights reserved.Any type of plagiarism will have to suffer consequences.
Publication Date: 11-15-2012

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
Dedicated to.............whomever or whatever?